Get Your States’ Popcorn Concession Right Here

April 12, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Set your alarm clock for May 2nd because Sarah Palin and Bill Nye the Science Guy are going to debate climate change.

No, I am not kidding.  I would not kid about something this wonderful.

Palin said, “I’m very passionate about this issue. We’ve been told by fear-mongers that global warming is due to man’s activities and this presents strong arguments against that in a very relatable way.”

I am certain that Bill Nye said, “Oh thank you sweet Jesus,” but that hasn’t been reported anywhere. Yet.

Vice Presidential DebateVerdelia said that she would even watch that on pay-per-view.  So, that got us to thinking: how much would you pay to see this debate?

Let’s start with a base payment of ten bucks.  Hell, you know you’d pay ten bucks just to see what outrageous 1980’s outfit that Palin shows up in.

If Palin is drunk again, that’s another ten bucks.  If Palin is drunk and Nye is high, you gotta go with $20.

If Nye agrees to tie 100 IQ points behind his back, it’s another ten to see him drool and still whip Palin.

If Nye walks across the stage and smacks Palin over the head with an Atlas, viewing rights go up at least $7.50, right?

If there’s sideline commentary by Neil deGrasse Tyson, they can have my retirement fund because I’d just die right there.

Thanks to Paul for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Get Your States’ Popcorn Concession Right Here”


  1. I heard he won’t actually be there. They will show clips off him saying things – and then have a live panel (including Palin) discuss what he said.

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  2. You are kidding, right? I like Nye but I wouldn’t give a rusty subway token for $P. She will probably stack the audience, if there is one, with foaming at the mouth fundees. I’ve noticed that Nye doesn’t play that way.

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  3. Nye is not going, they are going to play film clips of some of his statements. Thatis all. They can cherry pick the ones they want and the ‘debate” them. Worthless bunch of wasted biomass, the lot of them.

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  4. Juanita Jean Herownself says:

    Well, damn.

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  5. Spotting Caribou Barbie 100 IQ points does not level the playing field, esp if Neil deGrasse Tyson also occupies the room. Remember Caribou’s IQ is around room temperature, A room cooled by a BMF air conditioner, Say 68 or so.

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  6. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Micr, may I borrow a million or so? You’re in such a generous spirit with $carah’s IQ points, thought I’d ask. 😀

    I’d pay whatever it costs for closed captioning to be sure I didn’t hear that suitable for birth control voice.

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  7. My kids used to play beer pong in college whenever GW Bush would give a speech.
    One admitted to getting very drunk.
    You’d be under the table when Palin talks.

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  8. Then Louie Gohmert [R TX] and Paul Gosar [R AZ] will clear up what Palin said. Pop corn any one? Beer will not be strong enough.

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  9. Hahaha funny!
    Quitter Judge Sarah’s American flag freedumb pumps are worth 5 bucks more.
    And iff Palin’s ‘family value’ clan in the audience start a brawl, priceless.
    Thanks Obama! With a little Benghazi on the side.

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  10. Because Clint Eastwood debating an empty chair went so well.

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  11. @Diane

    Sorry to bear bad news but “Have you ever gotten drunk playing beer pong while George Bush spoke on tv?” is one of the screening questions on the Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test used by some Texas probation departments.

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  12. I got 5.00 says Palin will cancel before then.
    Quitting is her strong suit.
    Thinking is her weak one.

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  13. What, did Bill Nye lose a bet or something?

    This would be a very short debate. Do 97% of scientific experts believe that climate change is caused in large part by human activities? Yes.

    Is Sarah Palin truly ignorant. Yes.

    All done.

    Maggie O, don’t you think Palin will wait until the halfway point to quit?

    Notice that it’s getting harder and harder for Palin to think up ways to grab attention?

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  14. This is how a real debate would go:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXCUBVS4kfQ

    Sarah Palin is such a deer.

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  15. maryelle says:

    I just couldn’t bear hearing her voice, nevermind what crapola she spouts. Sorry, life is too short, especially with climate change chugging right along.

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  16. e platypus onion says:

    Don’t deny wingnuts the swimsuit contest part of the debate. Or the moose gutting talent part of the contest. Or the smile and wave contest. You know-the stuff the grifter is practiced in.

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  17. I would only watch it if Bill Nye would be there live and in person to do it. The way it’s set up with just clips of him speaking, they could cherry pick what they want to “disprove”, and it seems like a pretty pointless way to spend my time…especially listening to Sarah and whatever other idiots are going to be involved. I’ll just sit home with my popcorn and a good book.

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  18. Marge Wood says:

    I’m with you, AKLynne. Home with a good book and popcorn.

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  19. Marge Wood says:

    Or even a mediocre book. How many minds do you think Palin is going to change? I also think most viewers will turn off the TV and go do something else, shortly into the debate, rigged or not. But then I”m not a TV enthusiast.

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  20. In pre-preseason football, the Green Bay Packers play an inter-squad scrimmage game, with the Green Bay Packer Offense squaring off against the Green Bay Packer Defense. The game is attended by 70,000 paying fans, because what could be better than a Green Bay Packer victory! Right? One Packer team has got to win.

    I think Republican debates function in a similar manner. The debates between candidates are loaded with softball (staying with a sports analogy) questions, so they can “win” in front of an audience.

    Now, Sarah cobbles together some clips from Bill Nye, then intersperses his comments with clever zingers written for her by a retired host question & celebrity answer writer from The Hollywood Squares. “Wow! Sarah sure showed that science guy a thing or two. I knew she’s smarter than the average grizzly bear! Our girl not only ate his lunch, but she made off with the whole pic-a-nic basket too!”

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  21. W. C. (Pete) Peterson says:

    Is this going to be a take-off on Clint Eastwood’s empty chair? Sarah Palin and a poorly-focused picture of Bill Nye? Bill Nye would win. And he should still sue her.

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  22. Sam in San Antonio says:

    It will be like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

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  23. WA Skeptic says:

    I sincerely hope Bill Nye gets an injunction against anyone using his image and speech in this way.

    What a bunch of c***ola.

    You think this bunch of idiots wouldn’t be arguing against climate change when Miami is nearly underwater. Of course, if things get really bad, they’ll just move to the Other Earth.

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  24. Didn’t Bill Nye make a really poor attempt to debate a global warming denier a couple years ago? My vague memory says it was some snacilbupeR type and Nye performed poorly.

    Does that ring a bell for anyone? Or am I just making that up?

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  25. Bill Nye debated Ken Ham, the creationist kook from Answers in Genesis and the builder of the latest tax-payer funded fantasy, Noah’s Ark.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2016/04/sneak-peek-ken-ham-thinks-this-fake-dinosaur-on-noahs-ark-will-convince-you-to-trust-gods-word/

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  26. UmptyDump says:

    I might scan the transcript for chuckles but spare me listening to it. I’m with maryelle. Palin’s voice is like chalk on a blackboard.

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  27. Seriously, what network and show would carry this travesty? Even Roger Ailes has had it up to his eyebrows. Yeah I know thats hard to believe but by all the laws of physics, it had to happen some time!

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  28. Linda Phipps says:

    Texas Trailer: debating Ken Ham would be like climbing a greased hill.

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  29. @Linda Phipps

    Yes the whole idea of similes and metaphors in literature are utterly lost on Ken Ham and his minions. Must be nice to live in such a black and white concrete world. :{

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  30. Elizabeth Moon says:

    I would not pay a run-over-by-truck bent penny to watch Palin under any circumstances other than her sentencing to life in prison. Or being stomped by a moose.

    I don’t want to see her face (or body) or hear her voice or even hear anyone talk about her or see a TV news anchor mention her. No other person on the same screen with her could tempt me to watch her. If she came to my town to speak (Avert!!!) I would go somewhere else until she was gone. If she came to my house…well, that would be a stand your ground situation, and since I abhor extra paperwork, let’s hope it never happens.

    So no, I will not pay anything, not even $10, to see her “debate” a scientist or someone acting like one about climate change. She’s an airhead, she’s a mean airhead, and she is not someone I want to see. There is not enough brain-bleach in the world to get her out of my mind.

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