Fun With Guns: That’s Not How It Works Edition
Georgia, Y’all.
According to Albany Police, there was an accidental shooting around 4 a.m. Sunday.
Thomas Strickland explained after officials arrived that he sleeps with a handgun in his bed for protection, and that he accidentally shot himself early Sunday morning when he thought someone was in his home.
Point the gun the other direction, Tom.
Also, next time you might try sleeping with a girl. They’re just as dangerous as just as likely to embarrass you, but at least they’re warm.
Did he shoot himself in the butt, er, brain?
1Probably couldn’t pass the requirements to get a girl.
2And girls are a lot more fun.
3Protection from what? Odds are his attackers are imaginary, like most of what ammosexuals feel threatened by– certainly this time that was true. At least he shot himself and not his daughter sneaking in after curfew or the neighbor kid who was drunk and had the wrong house. (Both have happened.)
4Welll that subject’s been covered before but …. well let me apologize in advance. I’m sorry
Why A Gun Is Better Than A Girlfriend
1. You can trade in your old 44 for a couple of new 22’s.
52. You can have one gun at home and another when you’re on the road.
3. If you admire a friend’s gun and tell him so, he’ll usually let you try it out.
4. Your gun doesn’t mind how many other guns you keep around.
5. Your gun stays with you even when you run out of ammo.
6. Guns don’t take up much closet space.
7. Your gun will never ask, “Do these new grips make me look fat?”
8. A gun doesn’t mind when you go to sleep after using it.
9. AND, you can buy a silencer for a gun
Oh, Micr, that “I’m sorry” doesn’t begin to cover all that’s wrong with that comment. It’s more about misogyny than gun love.
6If he replaces his gun with a girl, the operative word is replace. He’d best not keep the gun, and add a girl with a gun. If a shot were to go off in the night, it’ll be a free for all.
7Well… on the positive side it’s nice to see he outgrew the teddy bear.
8ruh roh
Micr, will try to throw you a rope good friend! But I think that omission of the “quotes” around that list may cause some “incoming.” Duck!!
9From The Beatles White Album:
Happiness is a warm gun (Happiness bang, bang, shoot, shoot)
Happiness is a warm gun, mama (Happiness bang, bang, shoot, shoot)
When I hold you in my arms (Oo-oo oh yeah)
And I feel my finger on your trigger (Oo-oo oh yeah)
I know nobody can do me no harm (Oo-oo oh yeah)
the Fab Four saw Ammosexuality before the term existed.
10Wonder where that bullet ended up? Hate just getting a partial story!!
11Marcia in CO: “Officials responded to the call in the 3100 block of Wax Myrtle Ct. and discovered that Strickland had a gunshot wound on his right leg.”
12Actually, for security, you can’t beat the combination of a girl and a gun, particularly if the girl is a mom. A mom can be relied upon to wake up to any suspicious sound, and shake dad, whispering, “What was that?” That way dad does not need to his pistol, with a chambered round, underneath his pillow.
13@PKM
Thanks for the throw and row.
Yeah. I’m usually anal about getting attribution right but I mindlessly pressed *enter on that comment before proofing and adding requisite quantities of CMA. Oh well. That’s why some friends call me Three-finger Micr!
14I’m just so happy I’ve managed to live 62 years without ever feeling afraid enough to need a gun. Can’t imagine what personal hell ammo freaks must have to live with.
Actually, I can. My brother and his wife. They can’t go anywhere, as in ANYWHERE, if they’re not packing, including my other brother’s wedding on a secluded mountaintop lake. I don’t stay overnight at their house.
15PKM … thank you … if I had actually read the article, I would have known that, I guess. But, being lazy, I did not.
I wonder if the right leg was actually the “right” leg … the idiot can probably still spawn.
16Micr, I was going to say that a girlfriend is less likely to kill you, but after reading your list, I think not.
17I know this is going to be redundant, but I come from a hunting culture in 2 countries. When I was raising my kids, I taught them to ask if there were any guns in the house before they accepted any invitations to play over at someone else’s property and of course they checked with me any way. I often asked that question and I didn’t care what the respondent thought of me. They also never could get the hang of terms like due diligence, either.
18I suspect if this guy did find a willing girl he would also want to keep his little penis-extender around.
Of course to be fair the girl should also be allowed to bring a gun to bed.
19If he’s got multiple personality disorder, he could be both the good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun.
(/snark)
Seriously, though – how many times does one need to say it: perimeter defenses keep you safe, guns let you shoot people. A good alarm system, and maybe a dog, will either scare off the intruder or give you time to call 911, get your weapon out of the safe, load it, and take up a defensive position.
Sleeping with a loaded firearm “for protection” may be reasonable if you’re sleeping in a tent full of ham in bear country – but if you’re in your own home, you aren’t doing it right.
20Micr-you don’t have to hug your wash machine after you drop a load in it. That is better than a gun,no?
21OTOH,a girl could take on in invaders while the guy sleeps through it. Try that with a gun. Just pray the girl is proficient in several martial arts.
22Oh epo! I don’t even know what to say about that. I guess this is as close as I can get:
Men do laundry?!!
23Debbo, some of us can even compete with chimpanzees! We actually place toilet paper on the hangar, fill ice cube trays, change diapers, throw clothes in a hamper (and sort it before washing), cook dinner and for a Scooby Snack, we’ll roll over and beg. We’re doing our best to catch up with the women who can change tires and deliver/feed babies from their own bodies. 😉
24RepubAnon: Yes sir! You have it right. Makes you wonder what war-torn neighborhood this jackass lives in. Or THINKS he lives in. Shoot… with that much fear who can sleep?
25You sort laundry,PKM? I toss everything together and let it sort out its own colors and fabrics. My washer is like my vehicle. Toss something in the gas tank and go.
Is stuff labeled color fast because it loses color fast? 🙂
26e platypus onion, I’m trainable and Jane is a great explain-er of the consequences of mixing the fine washables with work pants.
😀 One of the many joys of marriage: keeping one’s knuckles above ground has its many rewards.
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