First up, we have a guy who went to see the Benghazi movie.  Drunk.

I have been told that’s the only way you can watch the Benghazi movie.  It’s probably the law.

So here’s this guy drunk at the movies.  Wait, did I mention that he had a gun?  Because, you know, it was the Benghazi movie.

“We have witnesses that say he came into the theater and appeared intoxicated. He went in and took a seat in theater number nine and was fumbling with a pistol when it went off and struck someone sitting in front of him,” said David Leibman with the Renton Police Department.

Yep, he shot a 40 year old woman in the chest.  She is expected to live.

After shooting the woman, he headed to the exit door and got the hell out Dodge.

I’m pretty damn sure that Sarah Palin is going to blame this on Hillary Clinton.

And then in Sulphur Springs, Texas, where my own damn cousin lives, they have taken protecting God’s word pretty seriously.

Sulphur Springs police say a man accidentally shot himself in the foot Wednesday evening at a church.

Police said at about 6:30 p.m. Wednesday, officers responded to a shooting at the Davis Street Baptist Church in Sulphur Springs. Officers discovered a person, who was not identified, had accidentally discharged his pistol and shot himself in the foot.

The victim sustained a minor wound, and no one else was hurt.Police said the shooting happened in the church’s family life center.

Uh, maybe the family life center needs to rename itself.