Fun With Guns: Major Surgery Edition
And you thought Alabama men were wimpy. Shame on you for that.
After partying all night at nightclubs, a 35 year old Alabama man, whose name has not been released much to his mother’s delight, was playing wild west with his handgun, spinning it around his finger to impress his friends.
And impressed they were when the gun, of damn course, went off and was agreeable enough to shoot the owner in the stomach and not anyone else.
But here’s the how-you-know-he-was-really-really-drunk part.
The gun went off and a bullet struck the man’s stomach, but didn’t exit through his back.
“The man told police he could feel the bullet under his skin so he took a knife and cut it out himself,” Captain Bobby Jackson with Gadsden PD said.
And to think there are people who go to school for 10 years to learn to be a trauma surgeon when all they had to do was get drunk.
Thanks to Marge for the heads up.
If the idiot had gone ahead and signed up for the ACA, he would have been covered for “stupidity”, and could have gone to a local hospital to have the bullet removed.
Hopefully, he used a sterile knife.
Or….. come to think about it….. maybe….. hopefully…. not.
Is this a gene pool that we really want to see reproduce?
Just curious.
1While he was playing Doctor Quinn, Texas Ranger (or was that Walker, Medicine Woman?) you’d have thought – as long as he was already anesthetized and waving sharp objects around – that he’d do some more useful cutting and spare the world any of his progeny.
Of course, thinking about it, if my social life was reduced to clubbing in and around Gadsden, AL (known as the “City of Champions” for reasons apparently tied to a HS band and a little league team in the 1950s) I’d probably shoot myself in the stomach, too.
Just to, you know, cap the evening off? (or is that bust a nightcap?)
2Betcha
31. He doesn’t have insurance
2. Being as how Obamacare is straight from the pit of hell he isn’t planning on getting insurance
3. This will not be his last ‘accident’ playing with a gun while drunk
Gun owner’s insurance should be as necessary as auto and homeowner’s. of course the moron rider will cost extra.
4Hey, the clean up must have been awful! Ten to one he didn’t do it. After all, cleaning up after your own mess is just not macho but shooting yourself in the stomach and then digging out the bullet with the same knife you used to clean your cleats sure is! This guy is just not long for this world but please God don’t let him take anyone else with him when he checks out early!
5@maryelle: You’re on to a very good idea there!
6And I am not proud to say that I have stayed on Gadsden before, but fortunately I didn’t encounter this type of local.
7The names of people who injure themselves while messing around with guns should always be released. That’s so people know who to stay away from to be safer.
Likewise the type of firearm and caliber should always be released.
Now there’s an interesting sidelight to this…which the lack of info about the weapon itself brings up. Generally speaking, at the length of your average arm, any caliber will penetrate farther than just under the skin. Back when I did ambulance runs, we knew that a .22 might (did) rattle around in some peoples’ hard skulls, and an attempted suicide with a .22 stuck in the mouth might (in thick-skulled individuals) lead to a really bad headache as the bullet stuck in the skull without penetrating it. (Always get an X-ray of your head and consider the thickness of bone before deciding that shooting yourself in the head is a great idea. Do the math–like your teacher told you, math is important.)
A .22 may not penetrate other thick bones (though it’s not good for them) but it makes good headway through soft tissue. So…at what angle did he shoot himself in the stomach–and what did he (and the reporter) mean by “stomach?” Where exactly was the bullet lodged “under his skin?” Inquiring minds want to know.
If it was a larger caliber…the classic 9 mm or a .357 or a .45…the lack of good penetration is troubling and casts doubt on the story of “shot myself while spinning the weapon around my finger…” Was he the mass of an average cow, for instance? It’s more believable if the guy was 400 pounds of rugged Alabama manhood…but even so, into soft tissue, you wouldn’t expect to find it lodged under his skin in a location where he could see it and dig it out with his pocketknife. Rounds do take some weird paths through human bodies if they hit something that changes their trajectory. What does his belt buckle look like? Had he put on his Kevlar vest (or someone else’s?) Or did someone else accidently shoot this bozo from a greater distance?
8This guy could never perform brain surgery on himself. Rocks and sawdust do NOT a brain make.
9@All ‘Member whut I said ’bout Mississippi relatives and going behind the Cotton Curtain and all to see them??? If I had any relatives in Ala-damn-bama, the same rule would apply. Those people are crazy. And rarely crazy in a good way.
10Performing surgery outside an ambulatory,surgical center in Texas will put you in wingnut’s dog house,especially if Perry’s sister can’t benefit financially. Besides he prolly isn’t licensed to perform surgery.
11Under ACA hiss stupidity could be a preexisting condition. The drunkenness may well be too…
12That’s the perfect photograph to accompany this story.
13e platypus onion…Performing surgery outside an ambulatory surgical center or hospital is only a crime in Texas if you’re ending a pregnancy. If you’re just cutting a bullet out of someone who shot himself…it’s his god-given right to carry that gun, play with that gun, shoot himself with that gun, and have the bullet taken out if he wants it out. Only people with lady parts have to keep inside them things they don’t want.
14Thanks Elizabeth. Did you know one unexpected side effect of .223 cal ammo(standard M-16/AR 15 round) is its tendency to riccochet around inside the human body doing all kinds of nasty stuff? The military uses full metal jacket(FMJ) rounds because they are supposed to be more humane,so I guess ping-ponging and tearing everything up inside doesn’t count.
15This is all gross. Y’all please forgive me for putting those thoughts in your collective heads. Blech. I used to have a gun but don’t have any idea what we did with it….I’m afraid that guy got ahold of it.
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