Fun With Guns: I Think They’re Jacking With Us Now Edition
There is a never ending list of men in Texas who shoot armadillos and have the bullet ricochet back and put out their eye or some damn thing.
Here’s one from the Huffington Post today.
It is the same exact story we covered in July of 2015. And pretty much the same story in October of 2015.
Here ya go on July of 2016
I’m thinking that on a slow news day, the amazing armadillo gets rehashed. If ya think about it, pretty much anything can happen at 3:00 am and neither you nor I would be there to dispute it.
Either that or there’s just way too many people running around with an itchy handgun at 3:00 am.
Thelma this it’s one kind of Russian Commie signal. Like, if you see that story, it’s a spy message to the Russians that something is fixing to happen. Something awful – especially the July 2016 one.
I dunno. After all, Thelma was right about something once so it might happen again.
Thanks to Lynn for the heads up.
Perhaps if they stopped being so xenophobic and learned enough Spanish to know that “armadillo” means, almost literally, “little guy with armor on.”
Fun fact: your Texas 9-banded armadillos have now made it to MY side of the Ohio River. Science dudes anticipate they will continue to migrate and flourish further and further north.
Thanks, global warming.
1I’ll be glad when this myth is buried. Bullets do not ricochet off of armadillos.
2Primo, possums made their way north too, though some of them get their pink ears and tails frostbit up here. I like them a lot more than I like the damned tiger mosquitos. I think I’ll like armadillos just fine if they get to Maryland.
3Possums have migrated all the way to Washington state where like armadillos in other areas of the country, they are considered just another part of the road.
4For those of you who have not heard this yet: A former Texas State elected official, a Democrat who seems to have faded away, had this to say about Dems being middle-of-the-roaders: “The only things in the middle of the road are yellow lines and dead armadillos.” Probably the best, most astute thing this guy has ever said.
5Perhaps we should be arming armadillos? Aren’t they covered by the Second amendment?
6Let’s find that cute little armored sumbitch and feed him some grubs.
7Several decades ago, a sister of mine (I have three plus two brothers) had just started a new job in San Francisco. She had occasion to mention armadillos and her new co-workers thought that she was telling a tall Texas tale. A few years later, one of those co-workers visited Texas with her and later informed everyone back in SF that armadillos are for real!
8@George in Lee County
Jim Hightower, in his 74th year, is alive and well and living in Austin last I checked.
http://jimhightower.com
9That tough little f**ker just proves the age old adage Don’t Mess With Texas. Got himself shot, and keeps coming back for more. And mathematically gifted too. Always positions himself perfectly to ricochet a round back to the same jaw of that drunk old b**tard. If he ever dies, he’s gonna end up on the wall of that Farmers insurance museum.
10I don’t know anything about armadillos but I sure do not appreciate the possums in my yard. They are mean-tempered and lost their “cute” years ago!
111smartcanerican:
I’ve never seen a possum “play possum”. If you approach them the little suckers start hissing and look like the most savage 12 pounds of wild animal you’ve ever seen.
12lumpkin, possums have 50 teeth, which is a North American record, but I’ve never seen them used on a person. We had to treat them and clean around them at the wildlife hospital, and they never did more than hiss. Not to say they never will, but it’s uncommon unless you’re really jacking with them.
13Also it’s very rare for possums to have rabies, because their body temperature is a few degrees low and the virus doesn’t like that.
Here’s what to do if you find a possum mama in your closet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrCtCUIjA-U
I’m betting that the armadillos are actually ISIS-trained terrorists, shooting back at red-blooded Muricans.
(/snark)
14Haven’t seen an armadillo nor a possum yet, here in PA, but this summer a family of raccoons made their home in my attic.
15The mother pried the plastic dome off my attic fan, climbed in and gave birth to 3 kits. They destroyed all my insulation and Christmas decorations, so I firmly believe they could be trained to join the armadillos and possums to form an effective force against ISIS or any enemy. Maybe a White House invasion could make those dimwits run screaming into the Rose Garden. The Varmint Force could put Blackwater to shame.
Why is it always 3:00 a.m.?
16maryelle, I think of raccoons as North America’s answer to monkeys– smart and good with their hands. Once I saw a possum skull and coon skull side by side, and they were about the same size but the coon’s brain case was about three times bigger. I respect them both. Coons get by on smarts, and possums have managed to get by even longer with hardly any.
17We have possums in Minnesota and lots, I mean LOTS of raccoons! They can be very obnoxious, as others have mentioned. They’re so dexterous they can get into most anything, little SOBs. No armadillos. (Is there an “e” in the plural? Do you pronounce the “ll”, or is it like “tortilla”. A Northerner wants to know.)
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