Fun With Guns: How Drunk Do You Have To Be Edition
Let’s go to New York.
Hunter #1 is in his stand looking for something to shoot.
Hunter #2 bagged his deer and was hauling it off on a little cart.
Hunter #1 saw this and … yes, he did.
The first hunter saw the deer moving, thought it was alive, fired and struck the first hunter in the hand and buttocks. The injured hunter was taken to Danbury Hospital with non-life threatening injuries.
I wonder if they had a little cart for Hunter #2?
In the butt? You had to shoot him in the butt?
Thanks to Rick for the heads up.
My wife tells me stories of Eastern hunters going to Wyoming to hunt. Believe me there are a large number of REALLY STUPID people with guns, doing really stupid stuff.
1Hunter #1 is not that uncommon or that bad.
Conservation police handled the shooting because they regulate hunting. So,that bastion of east coast liberalism promoted shooting of hunters to hunting category? This could get quite amusing trying to tell a wingnut from a lib hunter.
2So where do you get the tag when you take another hunter? And if the carcass and head get separated do you still tag the carcass and send the WRD with the head? Inquiring minds want to know!
3They don’t call ’em gun nuts for nothin’ ya know.
4I like the idea of people who shoot living beings knowing what it feels like to get shot.
5“In the butt? You had to shoot him in the butt?”
Buckshot loads are available in various sizes, weights and number of pellets per load which determine terminal performance. When choosing butt-shot loads, the size and distance of the butt should be considered.
6I betcha once in the butt was enough.
7In case you’re not too drunk, you might be interested in this:
From: Marsha [mailto:marshac1017@sbcglobal.net]
Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2014 5:08 AM
To: marshacorreira
Subject: First report of bills filed for 2015 session
I don’t have any time until next week to review the bills which have been filed for the 2015 session of the Texas Legislature. Here’s a preliminary report of the bills that have been filed November 10 through November 19, 2014.
There is a link following each date which will take you to the list. You can click on the bill numbers to get all the info.
November 10: 371 bills filed
http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/Reports/Report.aspx?ID=filingDate&LegSess=84R&Code=11/10/2014
November 11: 43 bills filed
http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/Reports/Report.aspx?ID=filingDate&LegSess=84R&Code=11/11/2014
November 12: 46 bills filed
http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/Reports/Report.aspx?ID=filingDate&LegSess=84R&Code=11/12/2014
November 13: 9 bills filed
http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/Reports/Report.aspx?ID=filingDate&LegSess=84R&Code=11/13/2014
November 14: 19 bills filed
http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/Reports/Report.aspx?ID=filingDate&LegSess=84R&Code=11/14/2014
November 17: 22 bills filed
http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/Reports/Report.aspx?ID=filingDate&LegSess=84R&Code=11/17/2014
November 18: 19 bills filed
http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/Reports/Report.aspx?ID=filingDate&LegSess=84R&Code=11/18/2014
November 19: 7 bills filed
http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/Reports/Report.aspx?ID=filingDate&LegSess=84R&Code=11/19/2014
The search page is at http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/Reports/BillsBy.aspx
where you can perform myriad searches for various reports of bills. Go ahead and take a look.
Please feel free to forward this email to any of your friends who may be interested in monitoring the Texas Lege.
Democratically,
8Marsha
I live about 30 miles from Danbury and have deer in my backyard all year. I stay indoors as much as possible during hunting season, although even that’s no guarantee – got buckshot in one wall of my shed.
Just glad that around here they aren’t allowed anything more than shotguns. In Colorado I was once mistaken for an elk and still remember the sound of the bullet going by. Took the guy’s very expensive rifle away and destroyed it. Somebody should do the same for this guy.
9My favorite Stupid Hunter story is about a Chicago feller who was sitting in a duck blind in southern Illinois. After a while he wondered if his foot had gone numb, so he prodded it with the business end of his shotgun. Guess what happened.
Nope, there’s no IQ test for gun ownership. No “Am I As Dumb As A Bag Of Hammers?” test either.
10Sometime before irony was destroyed by awarding a peace prize to Henry Kissinger, Tom Lehrer penned these lyrics (or something close to them — I’m working from memory of a 50 year old 10″ 33-1/3 rpm vinyl disk.)
“And I got the legal limit that the game laws would allow
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure bred Jersey Cow.
The law was very firm it
11Took away my perm it
The worst punishment I ever endured.
It turned out there was a reason
Cows were out of season
And one of the hunters wasn’t insured.”
@Rhea, It isn’t just an IQ test that these guys seem to need. Given this and other stories I’ve read of late, the Mortimer Filkins questionnaire for problem drinkers might be necessary as well. Good GRIEF…
12“It turned out there was a reason
Cows were out of season”
Score this round to Don A in Pennsyltucky!
13I knew a hunter on Maui who shot a feral pig. He was carrying it out of the forest on his shoulders, when two other hunters must have thought it was their lucky day, a day when pigs fly, and shot hunter #1 through the arm.
Hunters #2 & #3 followed #1 to the hospital, driving, to make sure he didn’t faint on the way from loss of blood. Not sure what they would have done at 50 mph if he fainted, but that was the plan. Then, so hunter #1 and the hospital wouldn’t report them to the police as required by law for gunshot injuries, #2 & #3 bought #1 a 12 pack of beer.
Geniuses all around. If the pig had been armed while roaming the woods that day, those three would have been goners.
14Sounds more like feral hunters to me.
15Off to help Ed Scruggs win District 8 in Austin city council; Ann Kitchen already won District 5. Y’all in Austin come on over and help do all the stuff that campaigns do!
16http://www.lyricsfreak.com/t/tom+lehrer/the+hunting+song_20138411.html
17My late brother in law, Moose, told some real hair raising stories of stooped/loopy hunters. This one should go right into his anthology!
18Shot in the buttock, that’s a Republican brain shot.
19Oh, gevalt!
20Cue the appropriate music…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A92_XFvez9U
21I wonder if Hunter #1 took Hunter #2 to the hospital. Probably surprised everyone when he brought him in tied to the hood of his truck.
22