Fun With Guns: Alamo Style
Jerry Patterson is the Texas Land Commissioner and in the cake walk of Texas politics he’s decided he needs to move up to Lt. Governor, a position being sought by 4 Tea Party Republicans who are fully prepared to cook and eat each other.
There will be blood.
The Daughters of the Republic of Texas, who run the day-to-day operation of the Alamo, have never allowed demonstrations on the Alamo grounds. They still oppose it but they ain’t boss any more. In 2011 the Texas Land Office took over the care, loving, and protection of the Alamo. That would be Jerry Patterson.
Last August San Antonio police ticketed three men for “causing alarm” as they were carrying loaded semi-automatic weapons and wearing cammo at a damn Starbuck’s coffee shop. The owner asked them to leave but they wouldn’t and customers felt threatened. They were there to strut their weapons and scare crap outta people.
Jerry Patterson, who often fondles guns in an unseemly manner, was hacked off about it. Add that to insatiable desire to be Lt. Gov. and you get a big damn mess at a Texas shrine.
Texas Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson, a gun-toting Republican candidate for lieutenant governor, is to headline a gun-rights rally Saturday on the state-owned Alamo grounds, where demonstrations historically have been banned — until Patterson’s office took over the shrine.
Okay, here’s the deal. He’s head of the shine and he’s the featured speaker at the first demonstration allowed at the shine. I dunno. I know goats with bags of three day old crawfish who smell better than that.
It’s gonna get worse before the primary in March. I promise. There’s gonna be virgins sacrificed and Gods you ain’t never heard of prayed to. This is going to be a tea partypalooza.
Thanks to Michele for the heads up.
Another reason I never go to the Alamo. I went there once. It’s just a big gift shop. Sad. I try real hard not to be anywhere near loaded guns ever. Matter of fact I steer clear of any kind of weapons unless you can wear them. I don’t even wear high heels.
1I’m not sure about the virgin sacrifice part. First they’d have to find them some virgins and, despite their family values spiel, Repubs tend to behave like actual people where their own sex lives are concerned.
2We have met the enemy and it is us,but we’re gonna blame Obama,anyway. Santa Anna wouldn’t give any quarter to the Alamo defenders and that is at least two bits more than I would ever give.
3J.J: “Fondles guns in an unseemly manner.”
4So descriptive of those wackos who love the almighty gun better than life itself, which so often turns out to be the price they pay for this idolatry.
Maybe someone can explain to me why the Alamo is such a big Texas shrine. Wasn’t it captured by the Mexican army and all the (Anglo) Texans died? Doesn’t seem to me like a place you’d celebrate unless you were Mexican. Here we have Fort McHenry which is famous for not being captured by the British, and even then we don’t make that big a deal about it.
5Rhea-according to Snowdrift Snookzilla,Paul Revere galloped around Texico warning the Mexicans that the Bristish were gonna ring them bells and shoot their guns because T-Baggers had a gutful of Obama and was gonna impeach him-or something like that. That is why the Alamo is revered by Pauls and other t-Baggers.
6When the Pea Tardy goes down — and it will because of its ownself – and Texas goes blue, I just hope those text book people in that state will vamoose! I know parents who background check every textbook their kids bring home from school these days (you can do that on the computer) to see if a particular book was ever reviewed by that blue nosed team in Texas. If they find out it was, the principal gets one helluvan earful and the parents buy replacement textbooks that are way better.
7I guess I don’t need to wonder why Texans don’t think of the loss at the Alamo as a lost battle to keep Texas as a slave territory since Mexico had outlawed slavery many years before and the people moving in to Texas wished to preserve the institution. I do wonder at your assertion that the teapublicans would need to cook the others in the primary before eating them I suspect they’d consume them raw just as readily.
8How do you decide which of your congresscritters is the most damaged? Between Stockman, Gohmert,Neugebauer, and Fahrenholt it’s got to be a near impossible task.
Guns may be the only thing that will allow him to ‘fondle’.
9I have it on good authority that guns have filed an injunction in Texas District Court that would order t-baggers to cease and desist owning,carrying,fondling or even thinking about guns in perpetuity. As an aside,I just watched Voices of Agriculture on RFD tv and they had a segment on rural residents in Texas complaining about the poorly maintained roads. Thanks to our fearless leader JJ for bringing this to our attention a short while back.
10@Rhea , the DRT was the place all the Little old Ladies ,whose ancestors were Texas Icons , gathered to celebrate themselves. They started the whole shrine thing. My mother was a Texas historian and was outraged when we visited there and hanging inside was A portrait of John Wayne in his Alamo costume hanging inside for all to see. Eventually it was replaced with an actual portrait of Davy Crockett. They treated the John Wayne picture as a shrine also with velvet rope barrier and spot lights……
11Let’s review:
Patterson is a gun rights advocate.
Patterson is a private property rights advocate.
Patterson is being sued by private property owners, the Gulf Coast Rod, Reel and Gun Club, over his false claims of ownership of Rollover Pass in the little storm-ravaged community of Gilchrist (5th District Court, Galveston). Makes perfect sense.
It’s all on the interweb, folks. Your tax dollars gone awry.
12@Rhea, the guys at the Alamo fought to the last man to buy time for the Texican Army to gain strength. Many people admire that kind of sacrifice. There is also the dynamic of the leaders, two of whom really didn’t like each other, working together to buy that time. While parts of the Alamo have certainly been commercialized, parts of it are really beautiful. There are similar stories of a small group fighting heroically in other cultures and being lionized for their actions. This is Texas’ story and some of us (non-tea baggers, but native Texans) value it very much. I don’t appreciate this jerk using the Alamo mythos to further his political career. That doesn’t make the Alamo something to make fun of, just him.
1310 Reasons why to Patterson A Gun Is Better Than A Girlfriend
1. You can trade in your old 44 for a new 22.
142. You can have one gun at home and another when you’re on the road.
3. If you admire a friend’s gun and tell him so, he’ll probably let you try it out.
4. One gun doesn’t mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
5. Your gun stays with you even when you run out of ammo.
6. Guns don’t take up much closet space.
7. Guns function normally every day of the month.
8. Your gun will never ask, “Do these new grips make me look fat?”
9. A gun doesn’t mind when you go to sleep after using it.
10. AND, you can buy a “silencer” (suppressor) for a gun
Lyntilla and y’all, thanks for the Alamo info. I can appreciate holding out to give others the chance for a bigger victory.
I don’t see too many “leaders” today who would do that. There are some, but they’re not the ones hogging the cameras and flapping their gobs all the time….
15Rhea and Lyntilla (and everyone), the spirit of the Alamo and Goliad and San Jacinto battles motivates every Texan. Approximately one third of the land in the U.S. was won after San Jacinto. Fighters from many states came to assist. This spirit is uprising as well in the determination of Rollover Pass’ coastal community on Bolivar peninsula to stand up to the state’s bullying (their words). Even Galveston itself has been subject to Patterson’s manipulation and control regarding Ike rebuilding monies (see Housing Commissioner’s comments).
Patterson cares only about one thing: “the Republican primary voter” (his own words on tape). He schmoozes the Republican Women’s groups and I hope they are smart enough to see through all the charm. He may have done some good things in the past but I don’t think the people of Gilchrist want him presiding over the Senate as Lt Gov. That’s how he got the legislation passed to ruin the small businesses and residents who just want to keep what little they have left (Rollover Pass as a nationally known tourist and fishing destination and Texas Historical Site).
This can be a topic in itself if Our Exalted Leader so deems.
16Micr — that was lovely, just lovely and I believe it to be so. Thanks for making me jolly!
Also, thanks everyone else for the history lessons. Not everyone lives in Texas, and I don’t believe all history texts give the heroes of the Alamo much space. Thanks again.
17I understand Viagra will be giving out free samples to all the TEA Partiers whose guns have quit having the desired effect.
18Rhea:
19Also, and someone please correct me on the numbers, since it’s a long time since I studied Texas history, but a few hundred in the Alamo held off a Mexican army of well over a thousand for about two weeks to give Sam Houston time to gather and prepare the army that defeated the Mexican army at San Jacinto and won Texas independence.
Speaking of Texas, Time Magazine has a map of Texas on their most recent cover. Its a cross between a patchwork quilt and a box of crayons. The feature story is about how fast Texas is growing and what a good idea it is to move there, and here’s the kicker, if you are willing to sacrifice certain things such as education and public services.
Yeah, right!
Alabama is trying to imitate TX and they are not doing very well at all. Parents who migrate from big northern cities with magnet schools and land in, say, Huntsville have to make a career out of doing battle with a school system that should have evaporated of its biases long, long ago. These are parents who are planning on getting their kids into colleges like the big private names in the middle Atlantic and New England states. The ones with huge research divisions. And the state of Alabama just doesn’t get it!
20You mean to tell me that the ex,half-guv,quitter of Alaska rilly wasn’t involved with saving the Alamo after all? I’m shocked,shocked I tell you! Bet the Texas Bored of Education puts her in their textbooks.
21Commissioner Patterson’s decision to lead a rally of armed Texans who want to challenge San Antonio police is totally incomprehensible.
http://postcardsfromsanantonio.wordpress.com/2013/10/16/the-state-surrenders-the-alamo-run-for-cover/
22https://www.facebook.com/DefendersOfTheAlamoBattleground
Nutcases…all of em. I’m staying home and hope some tourist doesn’t walk into it unknowingly…
23Well, the gun-totin’ dude Jerry Patterson is starting to get that “deer in the headlights” look (maybe). The spotlight is shining on him. Rollover Pass is just as sacred to the coast as the Alamo.
Elections are coming soon – see this short video for the real scoop on his shenanegins at Rollover Pass. Co-stars are his buddies Galveston County Judge Mark Henry and Commissioner Ryan Dennard.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tTrXB8WZ2lI
The last slide is cool.
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