South Carolina women apparently take their Christmas Eve beer very seriously.

A South Carolina woman was held on a domestic abuse charge for allegedly stabbing her common-law husband with a decorative ceramic squirrel when he came home late on Christmas Eve without any beer.

Now you are probably asking yourself, “Where does one purchase a “decorative ceramic squirrel?”  Well, you would be amazed.  Truly amazed.

It’s called “Chris’s Squirrels and More:  Your One Stop Shop for All Your Rehab Needs.”   Do not be using that slogan in your personal endeavors because that sucker is rightly trademarked.

I looked over this site as much as my trembling hands would allow and I think, but am in no way certain, that Chris means rehabbing wildlife, not rehab for South Carolina women and their beer needs.  Which is kinda a shame if you think about it.

Anyway, back to the South Carolina story …

The man fled to a neighbor’s home to call 911, and when officers arrived shortly after midnight — on Christmas Day by now — they found him covered in blood with cuts on his shoulder and face, according to the report. When he took off his shirt, they found a big gash in his chest, it said.

Initially, Williams tried to persuade police that her husband fell, but officers were skeptical because she also had blood on her hands and clothes, the report said.

Damn.  I thought the lack of beer was a dead giveaway.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.