From the King Crab Himself
Louie! Dammit. There are no welfare Cadillacs.
Louie Gohmert comes down on the side of cutting SNAP funds because he has heard something really important.
The Texas congressman complained that Democrats had portrayed Republicans as evil because they supported a measure to cut nearly 2 million low-income people off the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, which would mainly impact working families with children.
On the other hand, Gohmert said, poor people were using food stamps to buy food that other Americans could not afford. He claimed his “broken-hearted” constituents had repeatedly told him they had seen people use food stamps to buy king crab legs.
First off, there is no repeatedly. You live in Tyler, Texas. The Piggly Wiggly in Tyler, Texas, does not carry king crab legs and even if they did, they would probably not be safe to eat. Nobody in their right mind would buy king crab legs at the Tyler Texas Piggly Wiggly twice.
Second off, your constituents would not be “broked-hearted” if they did in fact see something like that. They would be blazing mad and break at least six of the ten commandments right there on the spot. Broken-hearted, my sweet patootie. Louie, you can go to hell for lying the same as you can for stealing.
Third off, you have king crab legs in Tyler but you don’t have cell phone cameras?
Fourth off, shut the hell up. All that corporate welfare that you just love buys yachts for CEO’s and stockholders while the rest of us can barely afford the gas to get to Piggly Wiggly.
You’re a jerk, Louie.
Louie and that lyin’ crapsack Grassley on the other side of The Hill are pullin’ that old fashioned Tail Gunner Joe stuff. You know, the guy who kept claiming during the 50’s that there were hundreds of commies working in the government but he hadn’t a spitwad of proof. The proof he did have was at least 70% alcohol which eventually killed him. Louie, who on this planet believes you? And if they did, could they get out of the house without a keeper?
1What a pathetic excuse to avoid extending charity. Louis claims to be a deacon of his church but he forgets the injunction of Matthew 7:14.
http://biblehub.com/matthew/7-14.htm
If he takes any interest at all in following the tenets of his faith, he might pay particular attention to Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary in the above link.
2I would never call Looie a jerk. A great steaming pile of undigested cow remnant, sure, but never just a jerk.
3For some time now there’s been something rolling around the interwebs about somebody in Michigan buying a whole lot of steak and lobster with their equivalent of the Lone Star Card. Said person was then busted for welfare fraud, after engaging in the entrepreneurial act of selling said steak and lobster at a profit to friends and neighbors. See http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/government/ss/Lobster-Steak-Food-Stamp-Receipt.htm
4Check out this chart from the Dept. of Agriculture on Gohmert’s district, over 54% live in poverty!
http://www.fns.usda.gov/ora/SNAPCharacteristics/Texas/Texas_1.pdf
5People on food stamps live on pasta and peanut butter, but if somehow they managed to get hold of a crab leg, so what. Louie can tell his broken hearted constituents to save their beer money and splurge.
6My grandmother told us “Ladies do not buy pearls, we have pearls.” In Louie’s district, it’s crabs.
7I have seen them save up so they can get meat for a holiday BBQ, but their purchases are usually quite humble.
8I’ve been so lucky never to have been on Food Stamps or on Welfare when it was just me and my 2 boys! Money ran pretty low on some months, but we always had a roof over our heads, bills paid, and food in the fridge and one year I did have to buy school clothes for the boys at Salvation Army … but they were good clothes … but I never wanted to have to do that again! And, I didn’t!!
I suspect so many folks who rely on Food Stamps might do a lot of shopping at Dollar Tree stores … they do have a good assortment of canned food items and our local store has a good selection of cold case items! Shoot … I even shop there upon occasion because I know they have what I need and for a $1 they are cheaper then the local stores! However, I’ve yet to see Alaska King Crab legs in that cold case!
Louie and the likes of him are just so heartless … they are simply sick individuals!!
9That’s a very interesting page Fred Farkelstone found.
It appears that over 80% of the families getting SNAP in Louie’s district are working and that 30% of them have 2 or more workers in the family. And that 55% of them are white.
Hummmm….. oddly, the “mission” of the church Louie attends does not use the words poor, hungry, feed, sick or heal. You know, the things Sweet Jesus commanded us to do. http://www.gabc.org/ourmission
10Could just one person who calls him or herself a journalist please stick a microphone in front of Louie’s smug mouth and ask him exactly who said it, when, and where they allegedly saw this happen?
11Glyn, are you implying Looie is a LIAR? I think he’s just crazy AND stupid.
Of course, I am often wrong.
12@TexasEllen: I suspect it’s Louie himself who has crabs. Only lice would get that close to the little man’s Little Man.
13Ya’ll know I was raised not to make fun of anyone because of the way they look, and I am really not in any position to throw stones…
However,
I just know that if you go under goober in the dictionary that exact picture will appear.
14Nate wrote:
“I just know that if you go under goober in the dictionary that exact picture will appear.”
That’s insulting to peanuts.
15Hey look, I just found Gohmert’s family tree and it’s loaded with new photo’s!
https://www.google.com/search?q=howler+monkey+photo&rlz=1T4GGLS_enUS541US541&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=xpzEUZTkJ8rVrQHp6ICwCw&ved=0CC8QsAQ&biw=1067&bih=466
16Puleeeze…
Can we get real here?
The people really on “welfare” these days are banks, oil companies, and big corporations?
Welfare Kings…… all.
17Juanita, you really want us to believe you believe Gohmert believes his constituents live in Tyler, TX?
Honey, we all know better ‘n that. Louie’s constituents live in whole other districts and whole other economic groups.
Tyler? Thinking no one there matters to Gohmert.
18If I was one of Louie’s constituents, I’d be broken hearted, too.
19Let’s see: Louie’s constituents observe people buying king crab with food stamps. John Cornyn has a friend living on the border who told J.C. that 300 illegal immigrants per night came across his land. I’ll bet those illegal immigrants are the same people who are buying king crab in Tyler! And that the two stories came from the same place — thin air! It’s called lying for fun and profit … and votes.
20@Fred Farklestone … have you noticed the family resemblance between Loopy Louie’s family tree and that of Dubya Bush? I swear I saw some of those same monkey’s uncles on Bush’s tree!
21I just found this article on McSweeney’s, which is a long-standing internet repository of humor:
Additional Questions Rep. Louis Gohmert Should Ask During Congressional Hearings
Sample: What’s to prevent every Muslim on the planet from organizing, then one day rising and all running in the same direction—in order to reverse earth’s rotation and send the whole planet back in time? Has anyone studied the science behind this? Could it happen? If you say no, why should I be compelled to believe you? Are you on “their” side?
22Hey Louie –
23Now that you’ve saved the taxpayers $10 on some (possible) SNAP purchased king crab, could you help us out with this $7 billion dollars worth of equipment (for sure) on which the military is going to spend additional funds – – to turn it into scrap?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/scrapping-equipment-key-to-afghan-drawdown/2013/06/19/9d435258-d83f-11e2-b418-9dfa095e125d_story.html?hpid=z1
Y’all need to read the late Joe Bageant’s “Deer Hunting with Jesus” to see how and why poor whites consistently vote against their own interests.
24Louie’s thinking. “Keep them hungry & without gas money”. Then they can’t vote against me at the polling stations. And he purports to be a Christian?
25Rick:
Not to mention $1.5 trillion — trillion — for an aircraft that can’t fly (the infamous F-35). Plus whatever massive sum it will cost to fix the thing so it can fly.
How much king crab do you suppose a person can buy for $1.5 trillion?
26Here’s hoping Louie and his supporters get another kind of crabs.
27