December 18, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized
Welcome to The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district. It's nuttier than squirrel poop here.
I am honored and privileged to know Miss Juanita Jean Herownself, hairdresser extraordinary and political maven. Since she does not have time to fiddle with this internet stuff, I type her website for her and you can read it if you want to. If you don't, she truly does not give a big bear's butt.
A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.
This ain't a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. This is a professional political organization.
The T-Party, “don’t goosestep on me” one looks like Christie with The Donald’s hair!! UGLY no matter how you look at it!!
1Great ‘toons an on point. “Their hearts were two sizes too small”.
2How is it that Cruz looks like less of a (edited for Mama) as a caricature than he does in real life.
3May have been that their hearts were two sizes too small, but more likely it is that they have no hearts at all.
4This is John Kasich, announcing. Tonight, on the GOP Debate with Donald Trump (TM):
Donald welcomes his “special” guests: Aqua Buddha, Snarly Failurina, and Jeb?
with Musical Guest: the Outlaw Jersey Whale
plus:
Stupid Cuban Tricks with Tony and Rafael
Self-hypnotist Mental Ben
…and political commentary by the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon!
And now…. the NASCAR-caliber driver of our #16 Clown Car, Donald Trump!
Trump: Thank you, John Kasich. You’ve got a great future behind you in politics. Good evening, everyone! How lucky, how incredibly fortunate, how great it is for you to be here in my presence. I’d envy you for being near me if I wasn’t already me.
It’s time for tonight’s top ten list: Top Ten Reasons My Hair Is More Awesome Than Any Human You Could Name In History.
Number 10: It has its own zip code, and the median income there is higher than any other zip code in the history of zip codes.
Number 9: It has the same half-life as plutonium. And Plutonium 239, which is thousands and thousands of years, not that weak-ass Pu-238.
Number 8: It’s polling higher than any other candidate in Iowa in the history of polling in Iowa except for me, my hair only loses to me, it’s that great.
Number 7: People are styling their pets’ hair like mine, and posting them on Facebook, but not as a joke, as an homage, and those pets are getting more likes than any other pets on Facebook in the history of Facebook and pets and social media including overseas.
Number 6: It’s YUUUUuuuuge
Number 5: It supports the greatest trucker cap in the history of trucker caps. No other hair could have supported a cap with “Make America Great Again” and have meant it so absolutely while simultaneously making that true.
Number 4: Just the dandruff from my hair could restore the glaciers to their original size and best of all, it never melts! It never melts, people. These would be the best glaciers in the history of glaciers, and could sink a thousand Titanics, except they never would do that, unless the Titanics were full of terrorists instead of white people.
Number 3: Governor Goodhair dropped out of the race because his hair while good was never great, like my hair. Just ask him. Be honest, Rick! Just ask him, but make sure he doesn’t lie.
Number 2: It’s the living proof that I can build things. Can the builder who built this hair not build the longest, tallest wall in the history of walls and stand up to the Chinese whose wall would crumble, just crumble, if my hair looked at it, it’s that potent. And the Chinese love me, just love me. Some of my best meals were cooked by the Chinese, and they tell me Donald, you are so awesome and we fear your hair.
And the number one Reason My Hair Is More Awesome Than Any Human You Could Name In History:
Seriously, more people can name my hair than any other hair or person having hair or even bald person in the history of the world. A bald person who is one of my closest friends – I love the bald, and the bald are voting for me in enormous numbers – said if he could have my hair, he could be the greatest person who ever ran for President in the history of running for President. In fact, just my hair, not even the rest of me, just my hair, would be greater than anyone who ever thought of running for President, or of the word “President” or the letter “P” even. It’s that great. I’m serious. Keeping it down to 10 reasons – THAT’s hard, and most other people can’t even think of 1 reason why their hair is so, so great and fantastic and historic.
We’ll be right back.
5OMG, daChip … that is so spot on and absolutely hilarious! Thank you!!
6daChipster …. …. for some reason there are images of cats hacking up fur balls dancing in my head! But Der Donald is flattered.
7daChipster, I could tell that was real Donald by the way it gave me the dry heaves. Good one.
Reminds me of Christine Lavin’s song, “Prisoners of Their Hairdos,” about celebrities who might not be recognized if not for their distinctive hair (Don King, Dorothy Hamill, Howard Stern, etc.) But even if somebody shaved Trump’s head while he slept, we could still recognize that big mouth.
8daChipster: Sometimes you get so spot-on close to the real that it’s a little frightening. I know it’s snark but still… Good job.
9Oh yeah, daChipster! First rate!
Rhea, Christine Lavin is the best. I love that particular song too. Have you seen her live? I haven’t. My loss.
My favorite cartoon in this wonderful collection is t-Rump in the cowboy hat. That’s not so much for him, but did you notice his lunatic followers? Hahahaha!
10daChipster, you doing an encore? I hope so. I also hope you’re writing a book. Which reminds me, Elizabeth Moon, how is your latest coming?
11Best,
Marge
Every one of the cartoons is on point. But none of them are funny. How depressing is that?
Da Chipster, you’re rocking even harder than usual.
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