First the Birth Certificate, Now the CIA and Secret Human-Extraterrestrial Liaison Program

July 16, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Well, the Republicans finally caught Obama.  Shame on us for not seeing this coming.

The CIA jump room program, and its origin with a species of Grey extraterrestrials with whom the U.S. government has had an ongoing secret human-extraterrestrial liaison program, is of the highest national security to the U.S. government.

The CIA and U.S. national security apparatus surrounding U.S. President Barack Obama will do everything in its power during the 2012 election year to suppress evidence that (1) Mr. Obama was part of a secret teleportation jump room program using Grey extraterrestrial technology to reach synthetic quantum environments (SQEs), destinations architected by Grey extraterrestrials.

The CIA apparatus has been suppressing evidence that (2) Mr. Obama has been since 1980 a full time covert CIA operative, deployed to infiltrate, perform surveillance on and report back on community activist, Leftist, African nationalist, and Islamic circles.

Y’all, Barack Obama himself has been part of the jump-room program, having teleported between California and Washington several times.  Now they’re going to want to see his Grey extraterrestrial passport to check the stamps.

Obama wasn’t the only one making the otherworldly voyage. As “Barry Soetero,” the 19-year-old Obama was one of 10 youths selected to secretly teleport to and from Mars, forming a band of interplanetary Teen Titans. Regina Dugan, the director of Darpa, was another member.

Between 1981 and 1983, Obama is supposed to have visited Mars twice, by way of a teleportation chamber called a “jump room.” Basiago, a fellow chrononaut, told the website Exopolitics that he saw Obama “walk back to the jump room from across the Martian terrain.” To acknowledge his comrade, Obama is said to have told Basiago, “We’re here” — apparently, “with some sense of fatalism.”

He didn’t just go to Mars, Honey, he walked on Mars.

Of course, as you would suspect, the White House denies that ever happened.  But if Mitt Romney could make it happen retroactively, that would be cool.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.

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0 Comments to “First the Birth Certificate, Now the CIA and Secret Human-Extraterrestrial Liaison Program”


  1. Ummm… I don’t think there enough illicit medications out there that could make a normal person see anything like this.

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  2. Sgt Mike in Commerce says:

    If Bernard had pictures of the President walking on water, unaided by submerged stumps, I’d definitely be interested. But walking on Mars or wherever having arrived that morning by teleporter??? I’ve seen that on Star Trek almost daily since 1966. Don’t disturb my nap til you got something real Bernard.

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  3. donquijoterocket says:

    So this is how he planted the birth announcements in the Hawaiian papers! You just knew it had to come out sooner or later.

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  4. Three thoughts:

    1) That this appears on the same day Romney gives proof of time-travel is beyond coincidence.
    2) These people are the reason certain drugs are still “controlled substances”.
    3) Uh… uh… I’m gonna check with Gov. Perry and be right back.

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  5. I always check the reference list.

    Every reference goes back to the same source: themselves. Wikipedia wouldn’t even touch it, and you know how easy it is to get something on there.

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  6. MCPO RET says:

    No doubt this story is true. I seem to remember Maj. Ed Dames photo in National Lampoons Life Magazine issue about the End of the World.
    He had three eyes and four arms.
    I don’t remember Barry though.

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  7. Are they absolutely sure it was Mars? Because I sure didn’t see him while I was there.

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  8. I’ve tried to warn people about this for centuries. The fools didn’t listen, and now look where we are!

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  9. OH MY GOD!, Maj. Ed Dames has had another profession. He was one of Art Bell’s favorite guests due to his “remote viewing” training for the military. He had a perfect record, at least according to Art;-) Keep your eyes pealed for Richard C.(the C does NOT stand for conspiracy) Hoagland claiming Obama was the designer and primary architect for the face on Mars.

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  10. Wait! This explains EVERYTHING!

    According to the article, “Obama was pre-identified in 1971 via quantum access time travel as a future U.S. President and essentially briefed and groomed for the job by CIA since 1980.”

    This means that the T-baggers were right! Once Obama was identified as a future president back in 1971, all they had to do was use that same “quantum access time travel” to go back to 1961 Hawaii and insert those birth announcements into the local papers!! So he really was born in Kenya, but the good old CIA used their time travel abilities to make it APPEAR as if he was born in HI! Genius!

    How could we have missed this! Why isn’t it on all the prime time news shows? THIS IS HUGE!!

    /end sarcasm/

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  11. Oh my!! Apparently we have not yet found the bottom of the crazy barrel.

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  12. And what is the downside to having a cool science-fictiony President who walked on Mars 30 years ago?

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  13. Sgt Mike in Commerce says:

    @Bernard Mendez: from my heart, OK? Put down the bong and move out of Granny’s basement. It’s time.

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  14. Didn’t Obama quote Gandi, “we are the ones we’ve been waiting for”?? Well, then, that’s proof enough for me! Forward!

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  15. gabberflasted says:

    My eyes are bleeding.

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  16. Kay Carrasco says:

    Look on the bright side, y’all: Now we can send Sheriff Joe Arpaio to MARS! Heh.

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  17. aggieland liz says:

    I think I need to start drinking. Retroactively…

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  18. oldymoldy says:

    I couldn’t bear to read the entire article. shirley it’s humor!

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  19. @aggieland liz: meet you at the chicken?

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  20. stonehillady says:

    I remember only 60 years ago, going to the moon was just as crazy as this, & the Roswell Incident of the first of the Grays to actually be here.
    Hollywood is always 1-2 steps ahead with inside info to start to condition the sheep & they certainly have been doing that, lately, so folks don’t laugh ! Tesla had this kind of knowledge & if he had it, any type of exterrestial can travel from point a to point b in matter of seconds…..ever notice the large scares on Obama’s skull ? like they could of taken his brains out & reprogrammed his brain with a who knows what !

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  21. Funny funny funny, including all the comments. Some really talented comics out there! But seriously, i have a brother that believes this kind of stuff and that is not funny! At least my brother has an excuse – he was in a rollover wreck with a Corvair (“Unsafe At Any Speed”) back in ’69 and i believe he has some prefrontal cortex damage. Now i think i’ll go have a margarita.

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  22. I will admit than in times past I was so fried on drugs that I had to look at my ID to remember who I was, but nothing ever made me think up anything this whacked out.

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  23. aggieland liz says:

    @DJ dangit, already left town for the day! Dudleys was always my favorite, Richard was a friend of mine!

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  24. notjonathon says:

    Jeez, I didn’t know half this stuff. There’s so much new info there, I may have to bookmark the site.

    I have to assume the Greys live in the fifth dimension (at least). My only regret is that I was not one of those chosen.

    I had a friend once, back in the 60’s, who told me about the superior beings living inside Mt. Shasta, but even the Panama Red couldn’t quite nudge me into belief.

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  25. rubymay says:

    REALLY!?!?! As I’ve said, I’m not young. Sometimes I don’t think it can get any crazier, and then there’s this. Ya’ just never do get to the bottom of craziness. The hit’s really do just keep on comin’. On MSNBC today, Ron Reagan said that if craziness were people, Michelle Bachmann would be China. Lots of other people would be, too. With apologies to Momma, I have to say that if we don’t re-elect President Obama, I’m scared spitless of the hell that’s coming.

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  26. gidget commando says:

    I…I…ah…I don’t even know where to start. Massive doses of antipsychotics might be a good place, though.

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  27. Austinhatlady says:

    Stunned. Just. Stunned.

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  28. Boy, when they said ‘illegal aliens’, they weren’t kidding.

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  29. How on earth do these people ever manage to figure out how to vote?

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