The damn Russians, who are reminding me daily why we haven’t liked them since WWII and we didn’t even like them much before then,  are whining that we’ve stolen their high saluting, fancy butt property.

Well, Skippy, you stole our damn election.  I figure we’re even.

Russia is pressing demands that the US give it access to two diplomatic compounds seized in the US last year.

Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said it was unacceptable to set preconditions for returning the properties. Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov described the move as “daylight robbery”.

Oh, look the hell who’s talking about robbery.  President Obama seized your property because you declared internet war on us. Look, I’ll admit your geeks are better than our geeks, but mainly because we don’t shoot one of them every week as a warning to the other geeks who might slack off a little and, you know, sleep or eat.

I’m very sorry. … *All right*, you’re sorrier than I am, but I am as sorry as well. … I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don’t say that you’re more sorry than I am, because I’m capable of being just as sorry as you are. … So we’re both sorry, all right?! … All right.

Look, we understand that both of our presidents are a horrible threat to democracy, but we can’t seize Trump Tower.  Yet.  Maybe we’ll trade you when we impeach his ample rump.