The police are not releasing her name yet so we’ll just call her Thelma.

Thelma had a spat with the soon-to-be-former-Mr.-Wonderful, so she did what any self-respecting woman would do and took all his clothes outside and set them on fire.

I suspect the Ex Mr. Wonderful didn’t have a bass boat because if he did, she would have burned his clothes in his bass boat and tossed his bowling ball in for good measure.

The highlight of this event was spectacular. Let me quote from the local newspaper because Lord knows they are accustomed to writing this kind of story.

Jasper Fire Marshal Mike Collier says his investigation into a Wednesday afternoon fire which destroyed one house, and heavily damaged another, has revealed that the blaze was accidentally caused by a woman who threw her husband’s clothes outside next to the wooden porch, and then lit them on fire.

The incident happened shortly after 3:00 in the 200 block of Edgewood Street, on the east side of Jasper. Both the Jasper and East End Fire Departments arrived to find a singlewide mobile home almost completely engulfed. A short time later, the intense heat ignited one side of another mobile home next door, and burned one bedroom of that structure.

Luckily no one was injured.

Actual fire in actual East Teas caused by smoldering polyester.

Police are looking for (not her real name) Thelma but she is nowhere to be found.

I suspect she has joined the Louie Gohmert Traveling Circus where she will quickly make friends with like-minded people.