Drive By Ping Pong
Okay, y’all, we don’t have to secede. We’re gonna get kicked out.
Kacal - All balls and no bullets
State Rep. Kyle Kacal said something incredibly stoopid to the Aggie Newspaper, The Eagle. When you are stand-out dumb in Bryan-College Station, where the competition is fierce, you win a real special-dumb award. It takes years of practice and lots of lost IQ points to be extra special dumb in Aggieville.
Kacal was discussing trying to do something about assault weapon violence and tried to offer up what the real problem in America is.
For example, Kacal, who lives on a 2,400-acre ranch in Brazos County, said he wouldn’t support a proposed bill instructing residents how to secure their assault weapons.
“People know what they need to do to be safe. We don’t need to legislate that — it’s common sense,” he said. “Once everyone’s gun is locked up, then the bad guys know everyone’s gun is locked up.”
Kacal echoed a common nationwide argument that guns don’t kill people, people kill people.
“I’ve heard of people being killed playing ping-pong — ping-pongs are more dangerous than guns,” he said. “Flat-screen TVs are injuring more kids today than anything.”
Little did I know about ping pong violence. I mean, here I sit in my little world, innocent of the fact that ping-pongs are more dangerous than guns and that flat screen tvs are the real enemy of children.
Why, come to find out, last week alone there were ten ping-pong drive bys and a dozen cases of carrying balls without a license – something that obviously Kacal could never be indicted for.
And we have got to do something about these murdering flat screen tvs. Those suckers sneak into banks and commit robberies every day, throwing around their weight as a threat.
Ping pongs. No, y’all, seriously. He said ping pongs. I guess he was looking in a mirror.
Or something.
Oh Lord, put Texas out of its misery.
Thanks to JustSuze and Brian C for the heads up.
Jesus, take the wheel and drive the governor and all of these clowns to this fool’s 2400 acre ranch and let’s put an electric fence around it to keep them in.
1Why I just heard of someone being killed with a ping-pong ball . . . Oh, wait. No, I haven’t.
Stupid is as stupid does (or says).
2Maybe Kecal didn’t see this study, that by 2015 gun fatalities will exceed traffic fatalities in America. The report failed to include ping pong balls or TVs, but I think we can assume their total is less than 32,000 deaths per year, either separately or combined:
3http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-12-19/american-gun-deaths-to-exceed-traffic-fatalities-by-2015.html
We may use up all the o’s in the stooooooooooopid Kyle haz.
4The 2002 edition of Injury Facts from the National Safety Council reports the following statistics :
In 1999, 3,385 children and youth ages 0-19 years were killed with a gun. This includes homicides, suicides, and unintentional injuries.
This is equivalent to about 9 deaths per day, a figure commonly used by journalists.
The 3,385 firearms-related deaths for age group 0-19 years breaks down to:
214 unintentional
1,078 suicides
1,990 homicides
83 for which the intent could not be determined
20 due to legal intervention
Of the total firearms-related deaths:
73 were of children under five years old
416 were children 5-14 years old
2,896 were 15-19 years old
And if Mr. Lunatic meant beer pong instead of ping pong, GW Bush contributed heavily to drinking on campuses.
5They would have contests whenever he made a speech and the he made a grammatical error or said a specific word.
My son could not stand Bush but loved his speeches!!!
Flashback to an old W.C. Fields movie. Fields falls out of an airplane while trying to retrieve a flask that dropped out of the window.
Fields falls into a garden onto a sofa where sits a lovely young woman.
I’ll skip the initial conversation. After hearing that she has never met a man before, Fields asks, “Do you know any games?”
Young woman: “I know bean-bag.”
“Ah, yes!” says Fields. “I attended the international competition in Paris. Many were killed.”
6Perhaps he was referring to the medical condition “ping pong balls” which is a Chinese venereal disease.
7Y’all it is so amazingly embarrassing to be from beautiful BCS sometimes. And Rick Perry is a Former Student too which only makes it worse, sigh.
8“carrying balls without a license” another winner, JJ
9My brilliant son is an aeronautical engineer who was educated as an Aggie. I once asked him why Aggies were considered stupid, when it was so obviously not true about his circle of friends there. The answer? “Political Science Majors there, Mom.”
They run for office, usually, don’t they?
10OMG! My D-in-L told me Santa is bringing my little granddaughters a ping-pong table. I’ll have to rush this to her so she can intercept the sleigh, but she’ll want ideas on what to ask for in its place. Anyone?
I really feel sorry for folks in Texas & hope STUPID will get to the tipping point soon.
11I believe ole Kyle may be trying to top Louie Gohmert for being the dumbest politician in Texas. Speaking of Louie, since I now find myself unfortunately living in East Texas and Louie’s district, I’m thinking about running against Mr. Gohmert in the next election. Seeing how ole Louie who is considered one of the biggest idiots in all of Congress,which is quite a feat when you think about it, has been reelected five times. I think I have stumbled on the perfect campaign slogan to defeat him. “Vote for me, I’m a bigger Idiot than Louie Gohmert.”
12Ok that is it. This man and all of his stupid *ss, buck ignorant, toe nail picking, moronic, dumb as ditch water and hair buddies need to finally just shut up and leave the good air to the less stupid people.
13“…carrying balls without a license…”
Now I know what’s wrong with so many in Congress.
Thanks for that insightful piece of info, JJ.
14Next he’ll be telling us to watch out for the dust bunnies under the bed.
15This discussion is really bringing out the idiots.
Death by ping pongs is a headline I’ve never seen. My father is from that area. Even Aggies don’t kill with ping pongs.
16Since when did they set a maximum IQ allowed in Texas Gov’t? And why did they set it so low?
17I could hardly believe it when I read about it. I went on his Facebook page immediately and politely asked him if he was an idiot (rather than simply telling him he’s a MORON!). Gee, those kids at Newtown were killed by ping pong? NOT! God help us, he’s worse than Louie. Rod Tanner, please run against Louie. I’ll come from Austin and help you run your campaign, I swear, and I won’t charge you a dime, either.
18Is it possible to have a bad acid trip without dropping acid? There is no way these people could be real.
19I’ve always told my friends to never play ping-pong with your mouth wide-open.
20I can’t believe they let you carry ping-pongs on the plane. What is this world coming to?
21According to the Centers for Disease Control, gun deaths are set to exceed vehicle-related deaths by 2015. That’s a lot of dead people. http://www.opposingviews.com/i/technology/gadgets/gun-deaths-exceed-vehicle-deaths-2015
22A ping pong ball might kill Ol’ Kyle if he swallowed it… and considering that he shouldn’t be allowed any sharp objects, it might be his only plaything.
23In all fairness, Dubya nearly got taken out by a pretzel. A ping pong ball would have meant certain death.
24Please Rod, we need someone to run against Louie.
25Louis better watch his back. This ol’ boy is coming up beside him. Maybe someone in Tyler can ask Louis to expound on the terror of ping pongs.
26I don’t even think The Onion would write a story about problems with ping-pong violence….it would be too far out there.
27Rod, you will win because Louie will retort: “No, you’re NOT!” I’ll be glad to help, you, though. I’ll register an entire Chicago cemetery to vote in your district. And if those votes get challenged, we’ll challenge them right back. No competent medical authority can help but rule Gohmert and his supporters as clinically brain dead.
28A pox on those assault ping pong balls and those semiautomatic
29flat screens.
They don’t kill people, GUNS Kill PEOPLE and ASSAULT RIFLES MASSACRE LOTS OF PEOPLE, no matter what those NRA morons say.
Wow! A whole new species…pointy headed idiot. Go back and check out Kaka’s picture.
30Along this same lines, I had a discussion with a FB aquaintance when she forwarded the information that Baseball bats killed more people than guns in America every year. I asked where she got her information and she went off on me. After some further conversation, she produced a graphic from “ammoworld”. They had combined ALL the other (non-firearm) causes of homicide listed from the FBI and then pronounced that those were ALL baseball bat deaths. My friend couldn’t see the illogic of this. Maybe somebody sent Kacal a similar graphic.
31“Ping-pongs kill people. The earth is not warming. Evolution is a false theory. The Earth is flat. The planets and stars revolve around the Earth.” There is no man so blind as one who refuses to observe and believe what he sees is real.
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