Downwind from Empty Threats
Most of you know Buck Pochek. Buck has been hanging around the beauty salon this week hoping to get a date for the VFW Valentine’s Dance. That’s not an easy task because last year he got drunk and spent most of the evening passed out on the table, looking for all the world like a centerpiece with his white sports coat and pink carnation. Somebody struck a tulip in his mouth and called him “an arrangement.”
His date, the unpetite Lillie Frontage, stole his truck keys, his wallet, and – just for good measure – his boots. Lillie still tells people that there wasn’t enough money in Buck’s wallet to pay for the humiliation. But, then again, no man has enough money to pay for the humiliation – just ask Jenny Sanford or Elizabeth Edwards.
So, while hound doggin’ for a date, Buck struck up a conversation with one of Thelma’s new customers, trying to convince her that the Republican threat to filibuster the job’s bill was his idea. “Yep,” he said, “when the government starts telling a man he has to have a job, that’s where I get off this train to socialism,” Buck announced.
“Buck, the jobs bill doesn’t mandate work,” Juanita told him. “Cripes, Buck, you’re upwind from the IQ shop again.”
“Besides,” she grins, “Senate Republicans can threaten to filibuster all they want. They can’t do it. They can’t. All of them are too old to go half an hour without a bathroom break. So, let them threaten all they want to. It’ll be the first time that C-Span has had to broadcast from a urinal.”