Don Quixote in a White Cowboy Hat
We all know Sid Miller, childish Ag commissioner of Texas, is a complete jerk, devoting much of his time to insulting half of Texas’ population and publicly displaying his stupidity on social media. We also know about his weird obsession with the “Jesus Shot”, which apparently maintains whatever feel-good it provides, and his use of taxpayer funds to finance his trips to get those shots. We also know that he wants to replace healthy food options in schools with deep-fried garbage, and are very familiar with his battle against the non-existent “war on cupcakes” for kids’ birthday parties. One of his most infuriating habits is posting bullshit on Facebook to foment fake outrage against fictional grievances.
We get all that. Ol’ Sid is a self-absorbed weirdo with an affection for stuffed animals on the walls of his office and screwy conspiracy theories. In truth, he is the Sas to Louie Gohmert’s Shay. Between the two of these clowns, it’s all goofball, all the time, and they regularly compete for the title of National Embarrassment of Texas.
Sid’s latest crusade? BBQ joints. Sid, as the self-appointed arbiter of everything animal protein, has decided to defy state law and the governor’s directives to go after…wait for it…your neighborhood BBQ spot. That’s right, even though the state of Texas has exempted small BBQ places from paying big bucks to certify their scales to weigh BBQ, ol’ Jesus Shot Sid himself has decided that, uncharacteristically, he is the Righteous Protector of BBQ Consumers, prosecuting independent pitmasters over a bullshit rule that he invented for some unknown reason, beyond being able to put his name on some Texas state certification sticker. You do know that he’s printed stickers to put his name on every gas pump in Texas, right?
The only good news here is that Deep Fryer Sid is being opposed by an actual adult in the 2018 race. Kim Olson, retired Air Force officer, farmer, and Normal Person, is aggressively campaigning to retire him back to the ranch. We say, come on, Kim!
Look – We all know that Sid Miller is a gigantic asshole. Like Trump, he loves to piss people off just for the pleasure of pissing people off. We also know that he is self absorbed, corrupt, and has modeled his behavior as Trump’s Mini Me. I get all that. But all that aside, Deepfryer Sid is interfering with the National Business of Texas – BBQ. And when he does that, he disqualifies himself as not only a true Texan, but more importantly, an actual human being.
Go home, Sid, please stop helping.
Uh oh. Moron Sid is in big trouble. Military veteran women have been kicking ass all across the country! I like Col. Olson and it appears she’s actually a farm woman, not a goofball, 10 gallon hat wearing moron. Plus, she had POC in her video!!
Is Ag Commissioner a non partisan position? I didn’t see anything about Col. Olson’s party.
Well, here’s hoping she kicks Sid the Moron’s ass good bye.
1Somebody oughta post a fake news story on Facebook that states that Jesus shots are twice as effective when injected directly into the brain.
2That oughta do it.
Debbo:
3She’s a Democrat.
Question: didn’t Texas once have a woman in the Ag Comm slot for years? Hell, as long as any woman is nowhere near as crazy as Sid, she should be a shoe-in!
4@maggie – Yes, Susan Combs. She is a Repub, but was an adult. She led the fight to remove Coke machines from elementary schools. Deep Fryer Sid put them back, because everyone knows that children aren’t getting enough sugar at home.
5@P.P.
6Like sponges and jellyfish and oysters, ole Sid hasn’t a brain as much as he has a mass of misfiring neurons. Hitting that with a syringe would likely be next to impossible.
Micr our good friend, we won’t know, until we try. Something in the gauge of a shotgun used by Dimwit Jr. and Err-Reich Drumpf to shoot caged animals with the facial accuracy of Dick Cheney loaded with the pharmaceuticals to take down an elephant would be a good start. Steve Scalise has already proven shots to their posterior make no impression on the st00pid.
7You’re going to love this: I posted the URL of this article to Sid’s FB page, and whichever moron he has running the page LIKED it. (I have a screenshot, if you want it)
8“Don Quixote?”
Sid Miller is no Don Quixote. Sid Miller doesn’t have a lance that’s straight and true. Sid Miller lacks chivalry. Sid Miller stomps on kids’ dreams, doesn’t chase impossible dreams.
Don’t give Miller a thousand times more credit than he deserves, please.
And Kim Olson? I tangled with her a little at Dallas ISD. Meaning I was on the other side. And I must tell you I think she’s the one to bet on in this race, because we bet the way things SHOULD go, and not the way fools push ’em.
Kim Olson doesn’t need a Jesus shot in the butt like Sid. Kim probably has Jesus in her heart, and brains in her head.
Either one beats “Jesus in the butt” any day.
Does anyone have the video of her speech to the Democratic State Convention?
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