Do You Know What Would Be More Fun Than Winning the Lottery?
Smacking Jim Jordan in the face with a banana cream pie. That’s what.
Okay, first but most unimportantly, does this guy own a suit? He shows up at every hearing in his shirt sleeves. What’s with that? Is he trying to pretend he’s working? Would somebody get this man a Hawaiian shirt and some flip flops?
Remember earlier this year when he ran against Kevin McCarthy for minority leader and lost 159–43? That’s not a loss, that’s a cremation.
And let’s not forget the Ohio State sexual abuse scandals while he was the assistant coach. He was apparently blind during those years. Oddly, Jordan told Anderson Cooper on CNN that he had never heard Trump lie or say anything he should apologize for. This was Jordan’s deaf period.
And now here’s his blubbering idiot period.
Anybody got a banana pie?
Thanks to SGray for the heads up.
How about a dog poop pie? More fitting.
1That would be a waste of a perfectly good banana cream pie. I say smack him in the face with a dead fish.
2He lost to Kevin McCarthy. Let that sink in, Jimbo. Who do you think you are? Peering over your glasses doesn’t make you look or sound smart. Or patriotic.
And how come Jordan gets to “roll up his shirtsleeves” in the People’s House, but republicans like him (including him?) went berserk when President Obama (like many other presidents) actually worked in shirtsleeves in the Oval Office.
39rastybob beat me w/the idea, but WTH):
4Please don’t waste a delicious dessert on that POS, hit him with a cow pie instead.
.
nefer, IOKIYAR, AW…. (and O’s tan suit, and Michelle’s sleeveless attire, etcetcetcadinfinitum)
I wouldn’t waste a good banana pie on this piece of slime. Maybe a pie like the one Minny made in The Help?
5God, I hate this slimeball.
He was my least favorite member of Congress, until Matt Gaetz showed up with his own line of BS and perpetual arrogant sneer.
Unfortunately, Jordan accomplished his goal. While “questioning” John Dean, Jordan managed to spew out a list of Trump’s “accomplishments”, including economic stats that have no relationship to anything Trump has done. Then he laid out a list of unfounded accusations, further trying to undercut the FBI and intel agencies. While I appreciate Nadler’s correction, I feel it was too late, and not emphatic enough.
So Jordan, whose Everyman Handsome Shirtsleeved Guy schtick is like catnip to low information voters, got plenty of footage for Fox et al to spread. I fear they’ll stop at the lies, and ignore the rebuttal. Like most showboaters, Jordan knows how to attract and hold a crowd.
And I feel bad for John Dean, who showed up to offer serious testimony, and had his time repeatedly abused in this fashion by a series of obnoxious, media whore GOP goons.
6Gym and all Republicons deserve a good pie. Just deliver it in something not a standard pie plate. Claymore cream pie or maybe a two crust manhole cover peach pie.
7Charlie Pierce, on the radio this morning, said that Jordan buys suits but then throws the jacket out because he thinks it’s just the wrapper.
8How about just a high five in the face with a chair?
9BarbinDC –
More likely, Jordan is probably one of those guys who’ll sweat himself into a coma if he has to wear a jacket. And reek to high heaven while doing it.
10Dean needs to learn what I learned years ago. When you give a talk or presentation and you ask for questions at the end, there’s often some havering gorm whose “question” is a ten minute diatribe about how his work is much better (and how he should have been invited to give a talk).
I just let them run on until the end, then look as blank as possible and ask “I got lost; what was your QUESTION?”. Invariably it leaves them sputtering, unable to condense their mini-lecture into an actual question. And let’s face it: Jordan just doesn’t have the wits to think on his feet (or sitting on his rear, standing on his head, or crawling to kiss Trump’s feet). One sharp, rude, and unexpected rebuttal would leave him with mouth open and nothing coming out.
But Dean is a nice guy. They need to get someone from this joint to cut him down to size. JJ, got any trips to D.C. planned soon?
11Since he can’t afford one, people should go to their local Goodwill/Thrift Shop and buy a servicable old suit jacket and send it to him.
12Lunargent:
While I agree that one of his goals was listing Trump’s “accomplishments”, he also repeatedly associated Dean with Michael Cohen. The guy in prison. For obstruction of justice.
Jordan comes across to me as someone who’s pragmatic, determined, and TOTALLY unafraid to stand up to overreaching Democrats.
In the mind of anyone who gets their reality from Fox and Friends.
13Prediction. IMHO, we’re witnessing the rise of the most likely successor to Donald F***in Trump in the Republican party.
He’s the perfect candidate to carry the message/agenda pushed by the Limbaugh/Ailes movement for decades in a post-Trump environment.
As long as he doesn’t flame out in some scandal.
Don’t get me wrong though, the ideas of mashing pies of different texture, composition, and solidity into his face are purty appealing.
14wotta palooka
15I was infuriated by that puffed up drunkard Goetz’s grandstanding. I am also angry that Jon Stewart addressed an ill- attended House. Yes the fund for compensation for 9/11 victims should be reallocated, but it would be even more fair if Saudi Arabia kicked in some money. Pipe dream of course, and Poopyhead would never allow such a demand.
16… also, I expect Trump will demand that the National Park Service deny the protest of his usurping the Capital Fourth by flying the Trump baby blimp.
17Many years ago I arranged for a public pieing for a coworker who developed a case of being an ass. It was a close vote as to whether or not the frozen pie should be thawed out first.
18I look at him and see Bill Hader from SNL doing his excellent batshite impersonation.
19