Do Bears Go Nakkid In The Woods?
The mother of a three year old wanted a teddy bear cake for her daughter’s christening. So, she went to a reputable cake maker who has been in the business for 30 years.
Yet, even they are part of the conspiracy to make everything dirty.
The mother, Sharon Green, picked up the cake only to discover that it was nasty. It was a girl teddy bear with a – oh no! – vagina.
The shop owners said it was a seam where the stitching on a teddy bear would go, but Sharon knew better! It was dirty.
The bakery owners were kinda shocked.
“The small bear on top of the cake is exactly that — a teddy bear — and the crease on its stomach is supposed to represent the seam where the bear is sewn together. We have been making girl and boy teddies this way for 30 years and no-one has ever drawn such a bizarre, and, quite frankly, distasteful, connection,” said a spokesman for the bakery in a statement on their behalf.
But Sharon Green wasn’t letting up.
“It is completely inappropriate. The cake is supposed to be for a three-year-old girl.” complained Green.
The bakers showed evidence that they use the same exact stitching marks on a boy bear. Green thinks that is dirty, too.
So, for your entertainment, here’s some more dirty pictures.
And this is a surprise attitude from a sex obsessed xtian??
1They are taught from day 1 that EVERYTHING in nature is DIRTY! They say dirty cuz they don’t like saying sex is evil, cuz they so like doing it!
I can’t imagine what kind of an environment that three year old must have to deal with on a daily basis. Man, there are some sickos out running loose.
2That’s a cake? Wow. The baker is really talented.
3Perverse, of course, but talented.
LOL!
Even if it represented an anatomically correct girl teddy bear, how could that be construed as “dirty”. This mother has some reality issues and unfortunately, so will her little girl. It’s adorable.
4Note that the three-year-old girl has too much sense to be upset about the bear. Although I’m sadly sure she will be taught.
5Up-tight people see “dirty” in all kinds of innocent things. Sorta lets you know what all is going on in their heads all the time.
6Wow! TWMDBS is the world’s newest porno website.
7A three-year old wouldn’t put any significance on that feature of the cake – small children tend to place more importance on eating the cake than it’s anatomy.
8Some people have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much free time on their hands.
9Okay, I can kinda see the point – I did a double take. And most of the clipart bears have no markings, or have the area discreetly covered. But it hardly merits a full-bore freakout.
May I suggest the addition of an icing skirt. Or maybe a thong and pasties, though no nipples are in evidence.
10Sooo, the boy bear has been neutered?.
11Only in ‘Murica!
12It does seem a mite peculiar, although I’m pretty sure that would be anatomically correct for humans, not bears. Perhaps the stitching line should continue all the way to the head? Perhaps Ms. Green and I are overthinking this a bit, though.
13Depending on how hard the icing is, maybe the decorators could make the seam go all the way down the front. Easy fix for silly problem, I imagine.
14Oh cool, a teddy bear with a camel toe. Ted, the nasty bear in the movie must have been the one who gave the baker the idea.
15If it were a real bear and she was sitting that way, she would be sitting on her ladyparts and they wouldn’t be visible. Sheesh.
Ya know, the mother could have taken the back of a spoon and smoothed it out herself, but then she wouldn’t have something to be outraged about. And I’m sure the three-year-old could give a rat’s a** anyway. Just give her the cake!
16I can only imagine I what the woman would say if she had asked for two teddy bears on the cake, especially after yesterday’s Supreme Court decision.
17This poor woman is just a sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad example of the power of ignorance.
Just because marriage equality is the law of the land doesn’t mean her daughter can be tricked into wanting to eat ladyparts.
18This bakery has wantonly trespassed on every xtian’s right to not be offended by anything, anywhere, ever. It’s the “if I don’t like it, you can’t have it” principle.
Arrogance & idiocy make a stunning combination.
19Old Fart: “Just because marriage equality is the law of the land doesn’t mean her daughter can be tricked into wanting to eat ladyparts.”
Tears ran from my eyes. + + + +
20Back in the 80’s the state of Alaska issued a grizzly bear license plate with a bear standing on its hind legs baring all its “bear hood” for all to see. Those that complained the loudest eventually used colorfull adhesive stickers, shorts, underwear to cover the exposed genitals of the beast.
Many of us just laughed…the state will re-issue the plate this year under more controversy. I think I may have use for that rainbow colored duct tape.
http://www.adn.com/slideshow/douglas-allens-artwork-and-alaskas-beloved-grizzly-plate
21Does Sharon Green also see Jesus on pancakes or pieces of toast? Is she closely related to the woman who saw Satanic pentagrams in the tail lights of school buses? Is she so sexually repressed that she sees sexual innuendo where there is simply the practicality of a seam? Inquiring minds want to know.
And, as TTPT #16 pointed out, is the woman simply not capable of taking a spoon and smoothing over the offending “lady parts”? Sheesh!!! Grow up and get a life Sharon Green. Your daughter needs you to be the adult.
22All your ‘dirty pictures’ are sooooooooo cuddly
23Just my < Christian view, but If Sharon Green is that sech-shul-lee repressed I'm betting that darter is an only. She figgered out what caused that and it ain't happnin' agin. BTW if only Bristol could learn….
24Just goes to show that all the nutters aren’t in the USA. Sharon is from the Midlands in the UK and that is enough to make anyone depressed, repressed and obsessed. Bless her heart.
25@Dice, I thought that was xtians’ right to be offended by everything, everywhere, all the time. If they can’t find something to be offended about, they swell up and bust. Sadly this doesn’t happen because they can ALWAYS find something to be offended about. (Note that I am not talking about actual good Christian people, only the loud fake ones.)
That bear reminds me of the anatomically-correct gingerbread men and women made by a late lamented bakery in Annapolis. Boy howdy, were they anatomically correct, but kept under wraps until an adult asked for them. The local chapter of the Moral Majority screamed so loudly that the bakery thanked them for all the extra business and the national MM told them to shut up.
26I wonder if the “lady” is refusing to pay for the cake.
27Some people are determined to believe exactly what they want to believe despite all evidence to the contrary.
I bet she watches FOX a lot.
28I wonder if she’s related to the Hobby Lobby Greens? Maybe she’s the one who moved across the pond because the American branch was too liberal.
29How did she know what a teddy bear’s vagina would look like?
30If the boy bear has the same seam, he’s got a great future ahead on RuPaul’s Drag Race. He one bad mother-tucker.
31Ok, I’m the outlier. At some point I might have pointed and said oh look the bear has a peepee and then laughed (depending on the crowd). Would I think it’s dirty or intentional? No. If she didn’t like it, no doubt the baker would have frosted a diaper on it.
32This mama really needs a long, quiet vacation possibly enhanced with valium. I’m sure if there were a seam on the backside of the bear she would have been just as upset. Something else is eating this woman (just had to say “eating”).
33So much to be offended by, so little time. How is a parent supposed to ever admit to a child that mammals have vaginas, anyway?
34@daChipster: The time has come for him to lip-sync for his life or sashay away.
35Sorry for this mom and even more so for the child. Is the mother a Baptist?
36I am glad I have a fetish about not eating any animal (or baby) shaped cake.
37IT’S A PIECE OF CANDY FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, WOMAN!!!
38Oh that poor, poor child. I feel so sorry for her being brought up by such a . . . what? . . . human, I suppose [though I must use the term very loosely indeed.]
As for the link you provided, Juanita, I found one for the “lady” in question to be offended over. Notice the top left teddy? It’s looking downward, very suggestively I might add, toward its [non-existent] “dirty parts.” I’m sure she would freak right out over that one, too.
39Parents must be ever vigilant to protect their young children from imaginary sexual perversions. Remember, Tinky-Winky is gay (cause he’s purple). I wouldn’t trust grapes or eggplants either.
40I followed the link to the original story. It seems the baker added some strategically placed flowers to mollify the mama.
Ummm — do you think someone should explain to her that flowers are the sex organs of plants?
41.
.
.
.
.
Nah.
My daddy was a pistil.I’m a son of a geranium. 🙂
42The travesty of this cake is that it appears to be covered in fondant, which while it is sculptable, tastes like bear droppings!
43uh, so what’s wrong with a vagina? I have one. Really, though, the teddy bear with a vagina should also have some nipples.
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