.

Juanita’s friend Liz contends that the reason Republicans are so obsessed with s-e-x is because they are truly perverted people.  No, she means seriously perverted.  Liz thinks that these Republicans have oh so nasty and sick thoughts about hoochy-koochy, so they suspect that we all do, too.

“I think she’s on to something,” Juanita begins this morning as she dumps the coffee that Thelma made into the garbage can.  Thelma makes awful coffee, which might be the reason she’s been married 5 times.

“I don’t have really sicko thoughts about sparkin’,” Juanita admits.  “I’ll fess up to a little kinky, but not perverted.  The kind of noodlin’ I think about is your pretty standard stuff, with George Clooney or Dennis Quaid involved, but rarely both at the same time.”

“However, I cannot even imagine the sick thoughts in the head of George Rekers,” Juanita speculates.

“To go to the lengths he does to cover his self-loathing means that he thinks you think about the things he thinks about.  You don’t.  And that’s why you’re not self-loathing.  But, he thinks you do so he goes all mean on you to keep you from acting on these thoughts that you don’t even have,” Juanita explains while waving a hairbrush around for emphasis.

“Think about it.  He has to save himself from himself, so he might as well save you, too, because he thinks you’re weird, too.  You’re not, but he has convinced himself that his thinking is normal.  He’s just saving you from your nasty thoughts.”

“Well, come to find out, it is profitbale to think about nasty things.”

The state of Florida paid George Rekers — the anti-gay leader recently caught with a male escort — $120,000 to testify against allowing gay couples to adopt children, testimony that was deemed not credible by the judge.

Rekers was paid a $60,900 retainer. He also received a $59,793 payment for hourly billing, according to document provided to TPMmuckraker by the Department of Children and Families. That comes out to 402 hours at about $150 per hour. The payments were made by the office of the Florida attorney general, Bill McCollum, which was defending the DCF’s policy.

“Truth be known, it is the anti-gay activists who should not be allowed to adopt children because it is the anti-gay activists who are the sickos.”

“Damn George Rekers.  He screwed the taxpayers twice.  Once in his head and once in their pocket.”