If any of y’all see Sarah Palin anywhere around, please hand her this.

Dear Sarah Palin,

Wipe that smirk off your face, woman.  You look like a fool.

You go all Chicken Little to your base of old men who can’t hear worth a damn and think the whippersnappers took their manhood instead of old age.  What the tarnation are you talking about?

Sarah Palin says America will eventually default on its debt and claims that the federal government is “stockpiling bullets in case of civil unrest” to prepare.

“If we are going to wet our proverbial pants over 0.3% in annual spending cuts when we’re running up trillion dollar annual deficits, then we’re done. Put a fork in us. We’re finished. We’re going to default eventually and that’s why the feds are stockpiling bullets in case of civil unrest,” Palin wrote in a Facebook message Tuesday.

Girl, get off of Facebook and go read a book.  And what the hell proverbial pants are you talking about?  I do not own one single pair of proverbial pants and if you have a problem wetting yours get some of those old lady pads that you can buy some machine to twist for you if you don’t have time to.  I don’t want to be thinking about this stuff, so shuddup.

Who are “the feds”?  I mean, are you going all jackbooted thugs on us?   Are the feds now some horrible thing coming to lock you up in an  invisible concentration camp buried under the Denver airport?

And they’re stockpiling ammo to come shoot you?  Why would they do that?  Honey, you have done more damage to yourself than a whole armory could do.  Why would they want to compete?

But I haven’t even gotten to the good part yet.

After spouting this crapola, here’s how you concluded —

Palin wrote that she wants lawmakers to “stop the hysterics.”

Girl, do you even know what hysterics means?  It means going around claiming the feds are stockpiling ammo to kill you. That’s what it means.  Look it up.

Girl, sneeze – your brain is all dusty.

Love and Fried Okra,

Juanita

Thanks to David for the heads up.