After spending a boatload of crony capitalism and Texas taxpayer money in Iowa, rumor has it Rick and Anita Perry are holding a press conference today to announced that they were punk’d by God.

Anita explained, “God told me to make Rick run for President and the Holy Ghost would handle all the details, like debate prep and reporters’ smarty-pants gotcha questions to Rick about the book he wrote.  Well, I guess God’s happy now,” she continued with a lilt of Christian sarcasm in her voice, “seeing us humiliated on a national stage.  Ya happy, God?   Ya happy now?”

Upon arriving at the Austin International airport, Rick asked to be taken to the Governor’s mansion where he promptly set fire to the place – again, hoping to distract from the UT Tower being lit up like a oil rig in celebration of  A&M’s defeat at something – again.

“I’m going home, going to bed, and then … well, I don’t remember the third thing I’m going to do,” he said.

The Anita Perry Martyr Tour will begin early Thursday morning at evangelical women’s groups around the country.  She is also taking suggestions for what she can whine about now.

Rick will be on the jogging trail this morning with a flame thrower, an M2Bradley tank, a large caliber rifle and three hand grenades.  Coyotes, reporters and Mitt Romney have been put on alert.

Humiliation:  It’s not just for Newt Gingrich anymore.