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There is a race for mayor in Missouri City.  Juanita does not live in Missouri City, but it’s just down the road from her beloved Richmond and the fun spills over sometimes.

Some of you may recall that there is a woman unburdened by good sense who is running for mayor of Missouri City.  Cynthia Lenton Gary is not new to The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. because, God love her, she makes it soooo easy.

The latest?  Although Ms. Gary claims to be a Democrat, she is touting the endorsement of  the Republican dude (seen here in this video urging Democrats to vote Republican) who ran for DA last month and got 20.08% of the vote.  He has the distinction of coming in fifth in a three way race.  And, even though Richard Raymond only got 43 whole votes in his own precinct and 14.92% of the vote in the largest precinct in Missouri City, Ms. Gary announced his endorsement with  flair and pride —

Professor Gary responded that she is very honored by this support and appreciates Mr. Raymond’s efforts at drawing attention to some of the ethical problems in our county and local taxing entities when he ran a very spirited race for the district attorneys seat last March. I know that with his help and guidance we can move our city in the direction of a more open and transparent government, one that is responsive to all her citizens and follows the laws of the state in the spirit of ethical praxis.

“Spirited race?  Honey, loud and obnoxious does not count as spirited.  Write that down somewhere.”

“And, Babe, listen up.  Ethical praxis?  Praxis?  Really?  Honey, if that man swallowed a ten penny nail, he’d cough up a corkscrew.  Good Lord, Honey, he lost because he makes John Edwards look like The Patron Saint of Universal Matrimony.  People don’t want him anywhere near their money or their government.  You really think he’s got a pocket filled with ethical …. anything?  Babe, hold on to that thought while we defrost your brain,” Juanita suggests.

“Richard Raymond got creamed.  He got beat so bad that he has to unzip his pants to see out.  He got beat so bad that even his grandchildren will be born shaking.  He got beat so bad that his toenails are loose.  He got an all-world butt kickin’.”

“I think Gary has found the bottom of that barrel we’ve been missing,” Juanita acknowledges.  “Why, come to think of it, it’s kinda the depth praxis.  And, Honey, she’s mighty proud of that what with press releases and all.”

I flat love this place.