Cute Lawyer Tricks
Jeff McKellop is a January 6th vigilante. In fact, he is kind of a standout. He shoved a flagpole tip into the face of one police officer and then threw one like a spear at another one. The Department of Justice has several dozen pictures of him being a terrorist.
Like TFG, he thinks that wearing a MAGA hat makes him immune to all laws and social niceties.
However, McKellop says he cannot go to trial on these charges. Why, you ask. Joe Biden.
High-level Jan 6 defendant Jeff McKellop asks court to dismiss his case… arguing Pres. Biden's democracy speech in Philadelphia last week "irreparably poisoned the entire nation as a jury pool" https://t.co/T0qqy0vXoT pic.twitter.com/EVAhlWN5c0
— Scott MacFarlane (@MacFarlaneNews) September 10, 2022
McKellop claims that President Biden’s September 1st speech poisoned the nation and now there’s no one in the country who could be trusted to sit in judgement of him.
And that, my friends and countrymen, is why we can never let MAGAs get elected to anything. They think we are all like them.
No, Mr. McKellop. Biden’s speech did not poison the jury pool. It was you attacking police and engaging in insurrection that tainted that particular group. Plus your mother dresses you funny and you can’t count to ten with your shoes on.
1So let me see if I follow his logic, some points assumed:
* The 2020 election was rigged
* January 6th was an uprising by the will of the people
* Joe Biden’s speech now has made all Americans and prospective jury members believe the opposite of what McKellop believes
He must think we’re gullible, on so many levels
2In this country, you aren’t tried for your beliefs (at least so far); you are tried for your action.
What you believe about shoving a spear-tipped flagpole into someone’s face is irrelevant.
Determining whether you shoved the spear-tipped flagpole or not, is the purpose of the trial.
3Nice try, but no cigar. Seriously, guys like this just prove to me that absolutely ANYONE can be a lawyer in this country.
4I’m glad I don’t have that man’s nerve in my tooth.
5Just a guess, but there’s a chance McKellop liked Trump’s speech much better: “You are very special and we love you.”
Traitorous bastards.
6I hope trumpf has to try getting his cases dismissed with the same argument. He has the perfect lowyers that would try that.
7Not a chance, sir. There’s you, on video, shoving the tip of a flagpole in one person’s face, and throwing the flagpole like a spear at someone else. Biden’s speech alters none of that.
8McKellop et all: “Waaah, waah, waah, sob, gulp, sob, snivel.”
9But, Presidunce Trump *promised* ………………..
10Can’t the neo-fascist numb nuts go before a magistrate/ judge instead of a jury of his “peers”?
11Though it has almost entirely fallen out of use in everyday American speech, in formal/legal usage “shall” still indicates obligation: e.g., “The tenant SHALL pay rent on the first of each month”; “The defendant SHALL appear in court on the scheduled date”; etc..
12It’s the old throw the spaghetti on the wall…. trick, and it ain’t
13gonna stick.
Does dump know this about spaghetti?
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