Critical Flag Theory
Republicans are flogging their latest fake outrage about “critical race theory”, turning a long used academic term into a boogeyman using their normal tactic, which is accusing others of doing precisely what they’re doing, which is dividing people by race. In recent years, they’ve weaponized academic terms to politicize any thought that might vary from their narrow views, like “critical thinking”, last year’s boogeyman. We’ll talk about critical race theory in a future post, but for now, let’s talk about their latest focus, critical FLAG theory. During Trump’s 2016 campaign, he sold all kinds of cheesy crap from China with his name plastered all over the items, but there were two big sellers: MAGA hats and Trump flags. Both really caught on, but the flags were the item that Trumpists LOVED. They would put them on their trucks and race around in what they termed “Trump trains”, blocking traffic and doing their best to piss off everyone around them, which is usually the goal for most of them because “owning the libs” is a key tenant of Trumpism. They also do Trump Boat Parades, which famously sank more than a few boats on Lake Travis last summer. They seemed to believe that the more flags they have on their truck or boat, the more likely he would win the election, so Critical Flag Theory was born which translates as: Trump’s electoral win probability is directly correlated to the sum of the flags flown per vehicle multiplied by the number of said vehicles. I’m not making this up.
This year, as Trump speaks of being “reinstated” to the Oval Office in August and Mike Flynn talks at a QAnon conference of a military coup to do that, the TRUMP WON flag parades have already started in an effort to increase the probability of it happening. Trump’s reinstatement has been predicted through the latest devised Critical MyPillow Theory, promulgated by none other than Cheap Chopped Foam in a Bag founder, Mike Lindell. Lindell announced last week on Steve Bannon’s HateCast that he has evidence that the election was stolen and when he takes it to the Supreme Court they will oust Biden and reinstate Trump. Never mind that there is no mechanism to actually do that, even if it was remotely true; all the Trumpists have jumped on board:
Clearly based on the photo above, Trumpists are attempting to raise the value of Critical Flag Theory by squaring the total of flags flown. Yep, that’s the ticket.
First you remove “Critical Thinking” from the curriculum. After that, both The Big Lie and Critical Flag Theory are easily spread.
1Can confirm this theory, at least anecdotally. My dear brother, an otherwise sensible person who somehow slid into Trumpism, told me before the election that Trump would win. He was convinced of that because of the big Trump rallies, plus all the flags and yard signs he saw. I explained that Biden didn’t do big rallies because of Covid, and that Biden supporters don’t do signs and, especially, flags, because we are not in a cult.
2Jill Ann, I believe that your brother fell under the spell of the Big Hand Theory.
3August? The orange flatulent one claim it was going to happen in April and when April passed, then it would be June.
Jill Ann @ 2,
4Here in AZ, the Trumpists are still flying their flags on their big butt trucks and in their front yards. They haven’t accepted the message: He lost the election.
Critical thinking among right-wingers is dead. Instead they have unthinking criticism.
5Two things. I do see a couple flags of truth in the photo above- “Team Deplorable”. Second, makes me sick that they kidnapped the American flag and think it’s theirs. It stains what the flag actually stands for.
6And my brother and sister joined the cult, too. I, unlike them, still proudly have my Biden-Harris sticker on my pickup truck window so no one thinks I’m on team deplorable.
And the CON.–go’s on.—- Sheep were made to be sheared…
7The Marks have a few $$ left to send to Dear Leader Trump..
The legends on those f’uped flags are a hoot [zoomed in]:
trump 2024
trump won save America
trump 2020 make liberals cry
Team Deplorable save America
trump 2024 take America back
this area is a liberal free zone
etcetc
There’s a small square blue flag at right middle that appears to say ‘Born to Rule 45 somthinsomthin’.
Look close at the bottom middle and there’s even a little dog with a doggie life vest that seems to have a trump symbol.
Laughing Biden asking uberlaughing Obama:
‘What’s the best way to watch a trump parade?
From a glass bottom boat!’
https://images.dailykos.com/images/952506/large/15995240801251178059062540015827.jpg?1622513913
Lake Travis: Several boats sink at pro-Trump parade in Texas 6 September 2020
https://www.bbc.com/news/election-us-2020-54045115
https://images.dailykos.com/images/893493/large/Sunk_Trump_Boat.jpg
8https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2021/5/31/2033032/-DELUSIONAL-Trump-Imagines-Thousands-and-Thousands-of-Boats-Worshiping-Him-on-Memorial-Day
I got caught in one of those trains before the election. It was in front of St.Martin’s where the Bushes were eulogized. There was a very large group that had organized in the Tanglewood neighborhood and we’re going g to drive downtown. They were hanging out of their cars and SUVs, yelling and screaming. It was truly frightening and there wasn’t a policeman in sight. If a civil war is coming GOPers have the advantage that follows all crazies!
9Long but good saga by DKos commenter “Admiral Naismith”, deserves a wider audience imo, so here y’all go:
https://www.dailykos.com/comments/2033032/81061435#comment_81061435
“The legend goes on from Sam Houston on down
About Texans who act immaturely
They warn you, be wise and try not to capsize
When the storms of November come early!
The Republicans, they put on quite a display
And they went for the whole enchilada
They were staunch GOP, but they didn’t foresee
The wreck of the Klannish Armada!
Lake Travis, they say is a great place to play
When the weather’s good Northwest of Austin
By July 2020, the tensions were plenty
And the long quarantine was exhaustin’
Pacey Chenowyth says she’s a fan of the Prez
And she wants to support him in Texas
So she held an event as an experiment
And Lake Travis, of course, was its nexus!
By Labor Day weekend Trump’s numbers had weakened
And Ms. Chenowyth’s group did assemble
A flotilla of yachts to exclude the have-nots
In the hope they’d make liberals tremble
They had planned for the day an air/water display
Paratroops, helicopters, a bomber
Though they all were riled up for some asses to whup
They’d soon wish that the waters were calmer!
Oh, they revved up their engines and roared with a vengeance
For conservative men never dawdle
At the sound of the gun they all sped off as one
With a hundred boat engines full throttle!
But the problem, you see, with today’s GOP
Is, they hate expert nerds with devotion
They have put their reliance on God and not science
And don’t know Newton’s Third Law of Motion!
The boats sent their wake ‘cross the full width of lake
From the Mansfield Dam to Ford’s Marina
And the waters, once flat, at the drop of a hat
Were a scene from the storm called Katrina
The wake from the tall boats, it swamped all the small boats
(The same happens in economics)
And of what next occurred you have probably heard
From the late show hosts and stand-up comics!
Several boat volunteers, having had a few beers
Didn’t know what emergency tasks were
They’d heard life jacket users were wusses and losers
So they’d left their vests home, where their masks were!
Although five boats were downed, somehow no one was drowned
So they all lived to vote against Biden
Pacey Chenowyth cawed they’d been rescued by God
But she should have paid heed to Poseidon!
They say Arkansas Bend is a fisherman’s friend
Hippie Hollow Park don’t require clothing
You can zipline for thrills out near Anderson’s Mills
Sometimes Island just fills us with loathing
The legend goes on from Sam Houston on down
10About Texans who act immaturely
Lake Travis, they say, is a great place to play
If the storms of November aren’t early! “
Grandma Ada @9, “If a civil war is coming…”
It’s coming Grandma, I just hope -all- of us libruls are –ready–; as in ‘locked and loaded, Condition One’. I am.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Cooper#Firearm_conditions_of_readiness
11I want my flag back. The Trumpsters have wrapped themselves in it and I want it back. They fly Trumpian flags above the American flag, this must end. I didn’t hang my flag this last holiday because I don’t want to be thought another Trumper. They stole my flag and I want it back. Yes, I am a veteran.
12I have to say I didn’t fly our flag when the Former Social Media Influencer was occupying the White House, but I did on Memorial Day this year – thanks, Uncle Joe!
As for Sandridge#11…as my Spousal Unit (a veteran) is wont to say, “Democrats have as many guns as Republicans; we just don’t talk about them as much.”
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