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Y’all, it’s only two days until Juanita is the happiest woman on earth.

Wednesday is the day that Newt Gingrich is going to announce that he’s running for President.

“And, what’s even better about The New Newt is that he’s found Jesus,” Juanita informs us.  “But, I think it’s more like Jaheeezzzzus.”

“This might have been a trick he learned from Tom DeLay.  Tom got born again so many times that a search for all his birth certificates would have taken decades.  If he really had been born again all those times, he’d be like, I dunno, 8 years old.”

“Being born again is like a Magic Erase,” she explains.  “You are flat not responsible for anything you did before they dunked you in the river and shouted hallelujah.  Hell, even AA makes you go back and apologize.  That’s why this born again thing is so very cool.  It’s a get-out-of-mayhem free card.”

“So, after Wednesday, we’re gonna have us a newly religious Newt Gingrich pontificating on how everybody else ought to behave.  Also, I would not be shocked to find that he wants to end bread lines and poverty the same way Stalin did.”

“Watching Newt try to mix oil and water by using fire is gonna be more fun than a tent revival led by the town drunk.”

She putting on her dancin’ shoes for Wednesday’s celebration!