Texas Governor Greg Abbott has played Greg-in-the-Box, jumping up and shouting about anything he can think of, to distract from his incompetence during the polar vortex.

His first distraction was to suddenly and unexpectedly “open” Texas by erasing mandatory masks, social distancing at restaurants and bars, and threatening local authorities who felt like it was way too soon.

Well, when he did that his base was happy, but nobody else was.  Even the state’s conservative newspapers shook their finger at him.

And, the attacks on Biden were falling flat.  Biden is a nice guy who can talk in complete sentences even though he stutters, so making fun of him seems almost cruel.  And I think they finally figured out that Obama and Hillary aren’t coming to take their guns, so now the enemy is “the Democrats.”

This Sunday, Abbott went on Fox News and asserted loudly and talking all fast, that Democrats were going to steal votes with cocaine.  Cocaine. Is that still a thing? Maybe it is among Republicans but Democrats can’t afford it.

Now, I’m gonna give you his exact words but when you read it, you have to talk so fast that little spittle things form at the edges of your mouth and occasionally fly off to make a life of their own, and loud. Be loud.

Describing his time as Texas attorney general, the governor then recalled an “amazing story” about vote-buying. “It was Barack Obama himself who knew about the dangers of ballot harvesting in the state of Texas,” he told a credulous Bartiromo. “Because under his administration, he sent his U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Texas as well as the FBI to south Texas to arrest and to prosecute people who were involved in ballot harvesting that were using cocaine to buy votes through the ballot harvesting process in the state of Texas. It is a way to commit voter fraud and it cannot be allowed.”

Bartiromo exclaimed in response: “This is absolutely extraordinary, governor!”

No, that’s not extraordinary. It’s caca del toro, that’s what it is.

Never happened.  He just made it up because it sounds bad.

I don’t think he’s gonna get much better. Keep your eye on that sucker because he’s gonna try to holler his way to the White House.