Y’all have heard me talk about one of our local Republican Sheriff candidates, Craig Brady.  He’s a hotheaded little dude who cannot even come to the candidate debates because he looses his temper.  I’m not joking.  There is not enough Valium in the world to control him.

It pains me to mention him at all because I’m hoping he’ll win the GOP primary.  The Democrats have an excellent candidate for this open seat and Brady would be the easy to beat.  A couple of months ago, the Democratic candidate picked the slogan, “Law Enforcement for the 21st Century.”

And that was before he saw Craig Brady’s endorsement list.

I think the Democratic candidate has a crystal ball.  Brady, bless his heart, has leadership for the 13th century.

I’m putting his endorsements over there to the side as I talk about each one of these endorsers.  You can click the little one to get the big one.  Before you start reading, please remember that this a minority majority county.

By 2011 Fort Bend was ranked the fourth most racially-diverse country in the United States by USA Today

Craig Brady Endorsements

Sheriff Milton Wright – the retiring sheriff.  He’s a 73 year old white guy. In the past his endorsement has been the kiss of death for Republican candidates.

Marshall Whichard – a 75 year old white guy who lost the sheriff’s race in 1996.

Rusty Hardin – another old white guy who doesn’t even live the county.  Plus, he’s a Democrat and a criminal defense lawyer.

Retired Texas Ranger Jeff Cook – Retired, old white guy.  Doesn’t even live here.

Former Sheriff Perry Hillegiest – a 60 year old white guy who doesn’t live here and was beaten like a drum for sheriff in 1996 after he got caught being extorted by a cute little topless dancer arsonist with generous hoochy favors.  (Y’all think I’m making this stuff up, don’t ya?  I’m not.)

State Representative John and Cindy Zerwas – Great, a youngster!  He’s a 57 year old white guy.  I better not hear one single word from Zerwas about “family values” from now on.   Unless, of course, a man getting his much, much younger subordinate pregnant and then leaving his wife for her is the new Republican family values.

State Representative Allen Fletcher – wow – two in a row!  Another 57 year old white guy.  He also doesn’t live here.  He lives in Tomball.  What the hell does he care?

Former County Commissioner R. L. “Bud” O’Shieles – Oh Dear God.  He’s a 77 year old white guy who got soundly defeated for county commissioner after his superintendent was convicted for defrauding the county.   He moved away – in shame.  Now lives in Marble Falls.

Former County Commissioner Johnnie Pustka – a 78 year old white guy who was defeated for re-election after voting against Martin Luther King Day, calling it “N***** Day.”

Former Astros Pitcher Shane and Pam Reynolds – I don’t think he even lives in Texas.  He’s not now nor has ever been registered to vote in Fort Bend County.  He’s a mere baby – a 44 year old white guy.

Former Fort Bend County Republican Party Chairman Eric Thode – I can’t even go there.  He was the political director for Enron.  White guy.  Doesn’t live here.  Moved away. Thank God.

So there you have it – diversity Craig Brady style:  Old white guy, older white guy, ancient white guy, loser old white guy,  shamed old white guy, doesn’t live here, doesn’t care white guy. Yep – that’s some diversity to be proud of.

I’m sure locals will have some color to add, but Brady’s endorsements are a damn hoot around the courthouse.