In my hometown, right outside a new retirement village stands a billboard for the Looneytarian candidate for President.

(Okay, camera phone, late night drive home after the ballgame so it’s hard to see.  It ain’t like I’m Ansel Adams or something.)

I think anybody over the age of 65 who votes for the Looneytarian should voluntarily give up their Medicare and social security.  I’d be delighted to stand outside their polling place and jump in there with a place for them to sign to give it up.

Additionally, why would people over 65 who are Looneytarians purposefully go buy a house in a place with enough restrictive covenants to make communism look liberal?

But that’s okay because it ain’t like they are stealing Hillary votes.

You’ve heard Hillary talk about the alt-right but you might not have walked though the valley of weird to actually see it.

This morning I saw a great example of it.

Like many of the right-wingers, Trump campaign CEO Steve Bannon sent to his kids to private school so they didn’t have to be around minority students.  That’s pretty normal for the right wingers.

Which minority does Mr. Bannon not want his children around?

Jews.

An ex-wife ….

“He said that he doesn’t like the way they raise their kids to be ‘whiny brats’ and that he didn’t want the girls going to school with Jews.”

That’s alt-right.

Thanks to Bryan for the heads up.

Okay, so I don’t have to tell you that the most pathetic thing that has happened since Martin Shkreli thought it would be fun to raise drug prices and watch people die just for the hell of it, has to be the Epi-Pen disaster.

Mylan Inc. who decided that watching people swell up and die from bee stings would be a mess of fun, decided that buying politicians would be a good way to hedge their bets on public outcry.

So, they went to my congressidiot, Pete Olson, and showed him some love.  This isn’t the first time they donated to him, but it was a nice little reminder before they jacked up the price.  Note the date, July 12th.

Way to go, Pete.  Can’t wait until your next town hall.

Thanks Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

Last October I promised you that there was going to be a demonstration on the first day of classes at the University of Texas over having open carry on campus.

The protest was 5,000 miscellaneous sex toys carried around on campus by women protesting guns on campus.  It was called “cocks, not glocks.” That’s pretty damn funny, right?

More than one person suggested that I was at the protest because I only posted once yesterday.  To be honest, I plum forgot about it.  Plus, I had to take Momma shopping yesterday because she was making me crazy with the “You think I’m 92 years old and don’t need things.  I need things!” daily reminder.

So, I missed the rally.

While Momma was picking out her fall makeup shades, I get a text message from my friend The Judge. She’s not a judge now but she used to be for a long time.

The Judge:  We should be at the sex toy protest.

Me: Why would we protest sex toys?

The Judge: No, stoopid.  UT.  Handguns. Sex Toys instead.

Me:  Damn.  I wanted to be there for the opening ceremonies to throw out the first dildo.

The Judge:  I think we can still make it for the closing ceremonies.

Momma:  Missy, put that phone away right now.  What could be so important?

Y’all, I came this close to telling her. I didn’t, but only because I didn’t want to drive home with my purse up my behind.

My friend Steve in North Texas —

Since I hate Homeowner’s Associations with a purple passion, I snorted out my nose when I saw this.

This story takes place in Texas, of damn course.

There’s a semi-famous steakhouse in San Antonio known as the Little Red Barn Steakhouse.  Their employees wear fake guns and holster because … I dunno, it seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess.

During the lunch hour, a table of men got plenty riled up when the waiter screwed up their order.  The rest of the event was handled in customary Texas fashion.  There are just no words to tell this story properly, so I’ll steal some from the teevee station that covered it.

“The customers mentioned that he messed up their order, so when the waiter went to the side to step back, one of the customers got loose and started beating on the waiter,” the witness said.

She added that the waiter was able to get away and returned with a gun.

“All I saw was a black gun, cocked it back, went up in the air and shot,” the witness recalled.

The scene after that was described as “pandemonium,” instead of the more familiar Texas description of, “damn goat rodeo.”  A witness speaks —

“There was old ladies on the floor, one in the back actually crying,” she noted. “It was scary.”

Yes, old ladies crying often scare me, too.

It just doesn’t get any worse than that, does it?  Most Texans I know would just get under a table or behind the bar and take their steak with them.

The waiter and the customers left the scene immediately.  I kinda suspect they went over to Clyde’s Ice House and Cantina to get some more beer.

But here’s the part that even you people from foreign states will love —

Police say that all of them could face charges, and the waiter could lose his job since the restaurant told KENS 5 that it’s against company policy for employees to carry guns.

The waiter “could” lose his job.  He could.  He won’t, ya know.  This is Texas, Honey.

Thanks to Charles for the heads up.