Headin’ them up and movin’ them out.

Being your trusty source of all thing very cool is a hard job but thankfully we have friends around the nation to help.

I am happy to announce that the Women for Trump bus is still rolling this morning and is all the hell over North Carolina.

10 a.m. All Green Recycling, Inc., 321 Atando Avenue, Charlotte, NC

12 p.m. Old Kmart Parking Lot (Gaston Co.), 3580 E. Franklin Blvd., Gastonia, NC

4 p.m. Hardee’s, 610 Blowing Rock Road, Boone, NC

We are also promised that …

Congressional wives have broken away from their husbands’ campaigns from as far as Texas, Montana, Florida, Ohio, Wisconsin, etc., to “stump for Trump” in this critical swing state.

Aside from the fact that I seriously doubt this election hinges on North Carolina, I think it’s real interesting that the congressional wives aren’t being named in the press release.  I also suspect that’s because most of them have packed their bags and gone home instead of having a charming and cheerful dinner at Hardee’s in Boone, North Carolina, lovely though that might be.

If you can make any of these events, we’d love to see pictures.

Thanks to Steve for the heads up.

Just when you start gasping as much as Trump sniffles, there’s more.

There are people who say they have a tape of Trump saying the N word.  I don’t think we need to hear that.  I think we already heard it when he said the Birther word. The B word is nothing more than the N word dressed up to go to church.

However, there’s a guy who is willing to pay the $5 million breach of contract fine for anyone who leaks it.

“If a $5 million ‘leak fee’ is what stands between truth and total Trump implosion, sign me up,” said David Brock, the founder of American Bridge and a leading Clinton ally, in an email to BuzzFeed News.

Brock was referring to a tweet from producer Chris Nee, who said she’d been told Apprentice staffers were intimidated by a $5 million “leak fee.”

The thing I have to admit I’m kinda guiltily enjoying is the Trump – DeNiro fight.  I can’t wait to hear DeNiro say, “You talking to me?”  Jon Voight (?) has lined up behind Trump. Nobody feels the need to line up behind DeNiro.  He’s a grown up.

Debate Chat!

So you’re not going to believe this.  I checked it out every which way and I have come to believe that it’s true and not from a satire site.  But, it’s the kind of thing that makes you think satire sites are real.

Remember when Texas Governor Rick Perry held a giant ole ten-buggy prayer meeting to pray for rain?  Well, as rain is apt to do, it did rain about 6 months later and Rick Perry took a bow and claimed his prayer was answered.

Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin, a Super DeLux Brand Christian who exercises by toting around a ton of sanctimony, has decided that Jesus gave us gas.  Well actually oil, but it’s the same thing.

It seems that the oil industry isn’t doing too well in Oklahoma because it doesn’t grow on trees, and since Republicans can’t possibly raise taxes on oil gazillionaires so they pay their fair share, the Governor decided to issue a proclamation in Jesus’ name.

Hold on.  I’m gonna let you read the whole damn thing because I believe, yes, I believe, in the power of crazy on a platter.

Whereas, Oklahoma is blessed with an abundance of oil and natural gas, allowing the state to be a prosperous producer of these valuable resources; and

Whereas Christians acknowledge such natural resources are created by God; and

Whereas the oil and gas industry continues to produce countless opportunities for wealth generation for Oklahoma families; and

Whereas Oklahoma recognizes the incredible economic, community and faith-based impacts demonstrated across the state by oil and natural gas companies; and

Whereas Christians are invited to thank God for the blessing created by the oil and natural gas industry and to seek His wisdom and ask for protection;

Now, therefore, I, Mary Fallin, Governor, do hereby proclaim October 13, 2016, as “Oilfield Prayer Day” in the state of Oklahoma.

Oilfield Prayer Day.  Honey, I have no idea why it wasn’t called “Jesus Give Us Some Magic Money and Pollute Our Air At the Same Time.”  Or even, “Jesus Gives Us Gas The Natural Way.”

Apparently, Oklahomans weren’t impressed with the water into wine or raising the dead.  That crap doesn’t pay worth a flip.  Jesus needs to be doing something useful.

I don’t know if the Governor is aware of this, but Oklahoma has become earthquake central due to fracking.  Maybe all the nonChristians in the state could have Earthquake Prayer Day.

Y’all, I didn’t make this up.  I’m not that funny.

It is a sad day in America when TicTacs has to clear their good name.

And when Rudy Giuliani goes on Meet the Press this morning and his best defense of Trump is that Trump “could have just been exaggerating” when he bragged about sexual assault.

“Whether it happened or not, I don’t know,” he said. “I do know there’s a tendency on the part of some men at different times to exaggerate things like this, and I’m not in any way trying to excuse it or condone it.”

Wink, wink. You know, like he exaggerates his wealth and intelligence.

And it’s sad for Ted Cruz, the man who jumped on the Trump ship as every other rat was jumping off.  Now he’s got to jump back off after having wasted a whole day phone banking for Trump.

Countdown to the debate — we will be here.

Thanks for all the heads up this morning from everyone!

Hey, y’all, Trump did something nice to us – he separated the men from the boys.

Mike Pence said he is “offended” by Trump’s comments and he’s not going to the big Paul Ryan event, but an hour after the story broke …

Pence suggested that if Trump is elected to the presidency, “we’ll have a president who respects all of the American people.”

He continued in his praise of the mogul, pitching the crowd that said this election is “about maintaining the highest level of integrity in the highest office of the land.”

Pence called Trump a “winner” and a man “who never backs down.”

He went onto say this race is about “respecting our constitutional principles and our highest ideals.”

So he’s apparently not offended too much.

John McCain is hanging on, too. UPDATE: McCain out.

And Roger Ailes is still Jabba the Hut.

A guy this morning tried to convince me that Trump and Bill Clinton were the same deal. No. No, they are not. Bill Clinton had consensual sex. Donald Trump vividly boasted about criminal sexual assault. That’s not the same.

And taking the cake is Sean Hannity.

Seriously.  He said that.  Go look.