Okay, so Donald Trump is taking Daily Intelligence Briefings only once a week, which kinda makes the Daily part subject to whim.

The reason?

“You know, I’m, like, a smart person,” he said. “I don’t have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day for the next eight years.”

Wait.  He thinks the intelligence briefing is something that helps his general intelligence?  You know, like explaining Newton’s Laws or the water symbolism in “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”?

What I think: He doesn’t understand a damn word they are saying.

But, he has a failsafe.

He added that he had instructed the officials who give the briefing: “‘If something should change from this point, immediately call me. I’m available on a one-minute’s notice.’”

That’s how long his attention span is – one minute.

Just so you know.

Posted without further comment.

There’s a new website that is tracking Cheeto Jesus’ conflicts of interest called Donald Trump is Corrupt AF.  To save Momma’s ears, I won’t fully enunciate the AF, but if needed, you can find it here.  We’ll be following this one since the opportunities for CJ to gain from conflicts is legion.  The current count is 45, and we are still 41 days out from the apocalypse inauguration.

Okay, it’s holiday season but I still have a deadline for OutSmart.  I’m working on two Top Ten Lists.  Pitch in to help if you have time.

#1: Great names for Donald Trump.  Of course, Cheetos Jesus is on the list.  I also like Mein Fubar, Festering Slab of Conservative Slime, Prima Donald, Bratman, and Hair Fuhrer.  Do you have any favorites?  You know, besides Mango Mussolini, which is kinda cool.

#2:  I am certain that the minute Trump takes office, he will change or repeal all the laws of physics.

Like,

Space distance is no long measured in light years, but in newly discovered Tweet Time, making it the fastest damn thing in the universe.

All laws of thermochemistry are changed to just one, making test day much easier:  Spray Tan is not forbidden to streak in summer heat.

Einstein’s field equation will describe the curvature of space-time due to mass-energy equivalent to the gravitational field and funniness ratio of Saturday Night Live.

Change the Theory of Relativity to mean: if you’re a relative, you have a job.

The Law of Gravity now means that Jesus wants you to sit down.
Kellyanne’s Corollary: and shuddup.

You get the idea.  And I am certain that your ideas are way better than mine.

Florida.

A unnamed guy got confused at Shoot Straight gun range in Fort Meyers.  He shot straight, but in the wrong direction.

A man was taken to the hospital Thursday afternoon after he reportedly accidentally shot himself at a Fort Myers gun range.

Police responded to Shoot Straight at the corner of Fowler Street and Colonial Boulevard shortly before 2 p.m.

Police said the man was attempting to unload his gun when it discharged, shooting him in the stomach.

Look, I’m not saying that the Shoot Straight Gun Range in Fort Meyers, Florida, might be charged with false advertising but this is the second time in 4 months that someone shot themselves there.  However, to their credit, it was straight to the stomach and straight to the leg.

Don’t forget to purchase your “Holiday Gift Card” at Shoot Straight Gun Range and Store to give to someone you hate.

No, seriously, thank you.

President Barack Obama has ordered a full review into hacking by the Russians designed to influence the 2016 election, White House Homeland Security and Counterterrorism Adviser Lisa Monaco said Friday.