• II have come to the logical conclusion that Republicans take Jerk Lessons.  Seriously, nobody can be that big a jerk on their own.

For example:  take Kansas Republican Senator Pat Roberts.  He made a joke yesterday that was absolutely not her-har-har funny.

As anybody who knows diddle squat knows for damn certain that men can get breast cancer, too.  Additionally, breast cancer is not funny.

He later apologized for it, saying mammograms “are essential to women’s health”  and he didn’t mean to indicate otherwise.

Yeah, but …

He supports the repeal of the “essential services” of Obamacare and that includes mammograms.

Senator Roberts, please make an appointment to visit your local Jerks Anonymous meeting.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

I found this is my email box this morning.  I have Damn Tony’s permission to post it.

Howdy Juanita Jean —

This is Tony from Weatherford. We emailed a few times a way long time ago, then I fell silent. It’s because a Democrat got elected to some office or another here in Parker County (I think it was County Dog Catcher) and armed conflict broke out, then the Comanches took advantage of the situation and moved back here into the power vacuum and now they run everything. Internet service went to hell, but there’s now plenty of really great gambling available. So it’s sort of a tradeoff, I guess.

Anyway, I am seldom moved to write song lyrics. This might or not might be a good thing. But these are unusual times and I am provoked to do unusual things.

You can use this if you want to. I thought I had a copyright on this, then that Assange fellow got hold of it and soon it was all over the place. My lawyer said I didn’t stand up and claim my rights fast enough.

Trump’s Friend Vlad is Comin’ to Town
(Sung to the tune of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,”
only you have to get smashed on Trump Vodka first)

Oh, the Trumpsters gnash teeth
While The Donald doth blow
Who woulda thought Vlad’s
Running the show!
Trump’s friend Vlad is comin’
To town!

Vlad’s making a list
Trump’s checking it twice
Russian cheese goin’ to the
Prez’s little mice
Trump’s friend Vlad is comin’
To town!

Comey hears when Team Trump’s yakkin’
But Obama’s thrown the shade
You’d think Trump Tower would be more secure
But the phones are Russian made

Oh, that Michael Flynn dodge
And that Sessions sashay
There’s more maneuvers here
Than a Red Square May Day
Trump’s friend Vlad is comin’
To town!

Trump’s never met this Vlad, now
‘Cept they’re close as close can be
Vlad keeps in touch thru email
Gets a lot of stuff from the DNC

Oh, Roger Stone’s drunk
And Kellyanne’s pissed
Ukraine’s in the can
But Trump’s gettin’ dissed
Trump’s friend Vlad is comin’
To town!

We’re buildin’ a wall
We don’t know quite where
He said Mexico
I want nearer Red Square
Trump’s pal Vlad is comin’
To town!

* * * * *
Lyrics by Tony King, melody by some girl I met on Russian Facebook who’s probably died by now under mysterious circumstances.

It’s 12:22 Texas time and I just saw this on the repeal Obamacare vote count –

CBS News reports that 31 GOP House members “cannot support the bill in its current form.”
NBC News says there are 30 who are “against the bill or leaning against it.”
Huffington Post says 29 are “extremely likely to be against” the bill.
The Hill finds 29 who are still against the bill.
New York Times finds 29 “no” votes.

Juanita’s Head Count is 29 nos

Also, the GOP may be losing some moderate votes by adding things the Freedom Caucus likes.

3:01 Texas Time — they are putting off the vote until tomorrow so some Republican representatives can wake up with a horse’s head in their beds.

I am so damn mad that I could jump start my car without cables.

The typical family making less than $10,000 will lose $1,420 if the Republican health care plan passes, a cut that amounts to almost one-third of their income. Meanwhile, the average family making $200,000 or more would gain $5,640, according to a new analysis from the Tax Policy Center and the Urban Institute’s Health Policy Center.

Man, that sucks like an Electrolux.

And God only knows how many middle income or pre-existing condition people they plan on killing before they get finished with the horse trading today.  Well, they’ll probably have to trade shetland ponies instead because there’s ain’t a Republican in congress as smart as a horse.

So, I woke up this morning thinking about the terrorist attacks in London, Republicans wanting to take health insurance away from 24 million Americans, a hearing for a Supreme Court Justice while the actual Supreme Court overruled him 8-0, investigations into the president’s participation in collusion with the Russians to steal our president election, Rex Tillerson not wanting to be Secretary of State so there, and the head of the House Select Committee on Intelligence scampering around like a squirrel to report to Donald Trump.

And this on the front page of my local newspaper. And it made the New York Times.

Yeah, Rick Perry took time out of his overloaded loafing schedule to pitch a walleyed snot nosed hissy fit that his alma mater, Texas A&M University, elected the first openly gay guy to be student body president. And that’s REAL. IMPORTANT to Rick.

Perry, oddly, claimed that the election was stolen and here’s the reason why I say it is odd:  because the gay guy’s opponent was disqualified because he violated the rules of the election and Perry thinks that’s unfair.

Holy. Damn. Crap.

So Rick Perry thinks elections are knife fights and have no rules?

Seriously, Perry wrote letters to the editor, called every newspaper in Texas and considering his reputation, probably tried to go get laid, because a gay guy got elected student body president.

Hey Rick, a goofy guy got elected president because he colluded with communists but do I see you whining about that?

But here’s the money quote.  Rick said that the “outcome that would never have been allowed were he not a straight, white male.”

Yes, straight white males are sooooo discriminated against —

And there’s this:

“He’s always been a great proponent for Texas A&M. I’m surprised that he’s weighing in. I’m surprised he would have the time to do that,” the spokeswoman, Amy B. Smith, told the newspaper. “There’s rules here. Somebody lost and somebody won, and that’s always tough, but it was just a surprise to see this.”

Yeah, Ms. Smith, it’s a tough job but somebody has to keep the presidency of anything in the hands of straight white males no matter the rules and apparently that somebody is Rick Perry.  Do you think for even a minute that if this contested race was between two straight white males that Rick Perry would have weighed in?

UPDATED:  The Dallas Morning News found a possible motivation for Perry’s outburst.  The straight white male who was disqualified is named McIntosh —

McIntosh, a senior, is the son of Dallas-based Republican fundraiser Alison McIntosh, who worked on Jeb Bush’s 2016 campaign and Mitt Romney’s 2012 run for president. Perry, twice a presidential hopeful himself, is featured in photographs with McIntosh’s other children on Facebook.

Perry is a money slut.