I do not believe Ted Nugent owns a mirror.

He was the major “talent” to come speak at The Former Guy’s rally.  He called Ukraine President Zelensky a “homosexual weirdo” only because that was the worst damn thing he could think of.

Ammosexual Inteligencia

I don’t think Zelensky is homosexual because if he were, Glen would be drooling over him instead of me.  On just a personal note, it kinda would matter to me because I think he’s a hunka hunka burnin’ love and I hate losing men to Glen.

Anyway, when “homosexual weirdo” is the worst insult you know, you’ve been hanging out with TFG way too long.

Ukraine’s ambassador to the U.S., Oksana Markarova, dropped by House Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s “office suite” last week.

McCarthy said he did not meet with her, but that she came by to drop off a book about Ukraine.

Yo, Little Guy, that’s a really polite way to tell you that she thinks you don’t know diddle squat about Ukraine. It’s called, in the parlance of today, “dropping shade.” She attended the University of Indiana so I suspect she knows more English words than you do. Okay, maybe you know more words but I can assure you that you don’t know what most of them mean.

So, enjoy your book, Kev. According to a rumor I’m, starting right now, this is the book she got you but you’re on your own finding your crayolas.

I’m kinda suspecting that your enormous box of crayolas were part of your deal with  Majorie Taylor Greene to support you for speaker. Well, that and your manhood.

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This is not exactly good news for either Trump or Meadows:

A federal judge has rejected former President Donald Trump’s claims of executive privilege and has ordered Mark Meadows and other former top aides to testify before a federal grand jury investigating Trump’s efforts to overturn the election leading up to the Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol, multiple sources familiar with the matter tell ABC News.

If Meadows lies, he’s likely to go to jail. If he tells the truth, he’s gonna wake up with a horse’s head in his bed attached to a note from Trump. Too many people have already testified to what Meadows said and did that day and none of it is heroic. I guess we’re gonna have to start calling him Nolo Mark because that’s about the only option he has left.

And also in today’s news, Trump is huffed up like a two year old banging on a high chair tray about his MagaMob rally …

Former President Donald Trump called on supporters to descend on the Manhattan Criminal Court on Tuesday to protest – as he is on the brink of being indicted for his role in paying off adult movie star Stormy Daniels.

Some of those supporters did show up. But they were outnumbered by demonstrators who support the indictment of the former president …

Last I heard about 6 people showed up to support Trump.

One of them was not Trump lawyer Evan Corcoran because he was testifying before a federal grand jury in DeeCee.  They are looking into the classified documents found in Florida. He lost his fight for attorney client privilege.

It ain’t rolling Trump’s direction this weekend.

There comes a time when it’s hard to know the difference between a banana republic and the greatest system of government devised in human history. Sometimes it’s just a Thursday. Dictionary.com defines a banana republic as “any exploitative government that functions poorly for its citizenry while disproportionately benefitting a corrupt elite group or individual.” Gee, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

There are any number of biases we have to sift through on a daily basis. The worst one is what I would lovingly call the superlative bias. In short, it is the concept that whatever event we are currently going through is the best or worst event of its type in history.

In some sense it makes perfect sense. Sensationalism sells and nothing kills the sensationalism like the admission that we have been through this before. Just this week we saw reporting that pointed to what most people would call treason during the Iran hostages scandal of the late 1970s and 1980. Americans back then would have been flummoxed to hear that news if it had immediately come out. Fortunately or unfortunately we did not hear about those events until long after they actually happened. If American voters had known Richard Nixon was conspiring with North Vietnam then maybe he doesn’t become president.

The job of the media is becoming increasingly more difficult as these stories become news instantaneously. We learned about Russian interference in the 2016 election almost virtually as it was happening. We learned about various Trump scandals almost immediately. We had all of the evidence we needed. Hell, it was all on tape. It has to be difficult when things are that simple. In a nation where conspiracy theories reign (and rain), it seems impossible to believe something so simple. We keep getting told that arrests and indictments are imminent. We saw that in 2017 and 2018 with the Russia scandal. We saw that with the first impeachment following Ukraine. We saw that with the second impeachment and January 6th. We have seen it since the bloviating moron left the White House.

Every time an arrest or indictment doesn’t happen it makes you doubt the story itself. The press is just crying wolf again. Maybe this is another “trumped” up charge. It’s really not that serious. Someone that is such an accomplished businessman would never do something so blatantly obvious like that. Except he did at every turn.

The current and former jackass in chief is even leaning into it. He is releasing his own rumors that he will be indicted. Why? It leans into the narrative. If he gets indicted for Stormy Daniels then it is proof in his mind that he is being persecuted. He did all this other stuff and it is a one night stand with a porn star that gets him? He must not have done any of those other things.

Political prosecutions are tricky business. If you overplay your hand then you guarantee the other side will do the same when they get the opportunity. There was talk from day one about impeaching Joe Biden. What’s the charge? They don’t know and couldn’t explain it if they did. They just know that it’s not fair that you busted our guy when he obviously broke every law in the book. Just rest assured that this latest scandal will be the worst of all. At least it will be until the next one.

Okay, I have a Can’t Wait Until Friday Toon –

I bought two bottles of my favorite happy wine – one for when he’s indicted and another for the perp walk next week.  I will re-read Tucker Carlson’s extremely comical statement and laugh my rump off.  He wants Biden to “stop” Trump’s indictment.

Said Carlson: “America will never be the same… You’ve got to hope that for the sake of the country, the Biden White House, which will be running against Trump, will put the country above partisanship and stop this.”

He added: “And that Merrick Garland at the DOJ will issue a very public statement saying that this is wrong—which it is—and therefore preserve for our grandchildren our justice system.”

I looked real hard for Tucker’s similar statement about Bill Clinton but … I dunno, must have just missed it.

Do you think I’m mad about John Connally and Ben Barnes making a deal to trade arms for hostages to keep Jimmy Carter from being elected?

Oh, Honey, no.

I ain’t even steamed compared to the former hostages.

The Dallas Morning News article is behind a paywall, but I’ll give you as much as I can.

The former hostages did the math and figured out it was five freekin’ months they had to wait to be released. And they weren’t staying in a fancy hotel.

To survivors, the revelation was more appalling than stunning. Democrats and hostages suspected the Reagan camp had a hand in prolonging the ordeal, given the obvious political benefits.

“It’s just typical. Politicians do all sorts of things to achieve whatever political agenda they have in mind,” said William Royer Jr., now 91 and a resident of Katy in suburban Houston.

On Nov. 4, 1979, when militant college students overran the embassy after the fall of the U.S-backed shah, Royer was an English teacher at the U.S. Information Agency.

Over the years he’s recounted the torture – being stripped naked and forced against a wall in front of a firing squad, testing his faith that he was more valuable alive than dead.

Connally died in 1993, which in my mind, gives a pretty plausible explanation of global warming what with the fires of hell surging and all.  I say we dig the sumbitch up to drive a stake through his heart just to make sure.

In the last four to six months as captives, many “deteriorated physically and mentally,” he said. “You don’t want to add even a day to that kind of treatment.”

The first 30 days, Sickmann was tied to a chair and forbidden to speak outside of interrogations. He spent more than a year in a room with two others, often subjected to physical and mental abuse. Until his release, he only went outside seven times.

“It was traumatic for a hostage, but it was traumatic for my poor family and everybody else involved,” he said.

Connally is dead and Barnes is not returning phone calls.

Sumbitches.