Y’all, it’s our favorite growling poodle, Louie Gohmert, Republican congressvarmint from deep east Texas.

Louie went on Fox News and explained trigonometry and performed brain surgery right there on the damn teevee, by gawd.

And then, as an encore, he attempted to one-up noted Republican scholar and part time congressman Bryan Zollinger by explaining Charlottesville.

Gohmert even claims there are “witnesses” who saw KKK and Black Lives Matters protesters get off the same buses in Charlottesville, implying they were simply paid actors by Democrats. Gohmert urged Trump to appoint an independent counsel to investigate Democrats, even though presidents do not, and cannot, appoint independent counsels.

Oh Honey, there’s movies.  Of course there’s movies.  And as a bonus, Louie explains how he could have saved America in 2005 but “they” wouldn’t listen to him.

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you for Louie Gohment who always puts things in perspective.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up. 

Fake Media said you needed special glasses.

EIther that or no impulse control.

Your bet is a good as mine.

It’s in the news on the electric internet.

Republican Representative (cringing should commence here.) Bryan Zollinger from Idaho Falls, Idaho, took to Facebook linked to an article in the American Thinker (which is neither) that it is entirely possible that Barack Obama, George Soros, Terry McAuliffe, and the mayor of Charlottesville planned the whole thing, or a “shadowy cabal involving them all.”

“The conflagration in Charlottesville is beginning to feel like a set-up, perhaps weeks or months in the planning,” the author wrote. “We know that Obama and his inner circle have set up a war room in his D.C. home to plan and execute resistance to the Trump administration and his legislative agenda.”

What else would you do in a war room except plan a demonstration?

When pressed, Bryan Zollinger took a few steps backwards …

“I’m not saying it is true, but I am suggesting that it is completely plausible,” Idaho Falls Rep. Bryan Zollinger wrote on Facebook.

Okay, I am not saying it’s true that Bryan Zollinger is a fascist loudmouth with very little education and even smaller testicles who drowns kittens for fun, but it is entirely plausible.

Thanks to Sandy for the heads up.

Politico reports …

He is figuring out a fall (yeah, of this year) appearance schedule that will “fill his campaign bank account with tens of millions of dollars.”

He has slated trips to both Texas and New York where he says he’ll split the fundraising with the RNC.  I guess the RNC will just have to trust him about that.

I am shocked, just shocked, that he has lasted this long, but my only comfort is found in knowing the rich and famous snubs are really upsetting him.

The University of Texas (HookEm!) removed the confederate statues in the middle of the damn night.

University president Gregory L. Fenves announced the decision late Sunday night, saying the “horrific displays of hatred” in Virginia had made it clear that Confederate statues had become “symbols of modern white supremacy and neo-Nazism.”

Robert E. Lee, Albert Sidney Johnston, John Reagan and former Texas governor James Stephen Hogg were all removed.  The Jefferson Davis statue was removed last year.  They will all be placed in the Briscoe Center for the Study of American History in Austin.

A couple dozen people showed up.  There were no problems.

Thing Two:  if you wanna tell us about your experience with the solar eclipse, here’s the place to do it.  I’ll get to see about 65% of it.

This morning, I called Momma – she’s 92 years old and lives in her own apartment with her own patio at an assisted living center. They serve breakfast and lunch every day. She fixes her own dinner.  I called her this morning to remind her about the eclipse.  I explained it would start about 11:45 and peak at 1:15.

“Well, I hate that,” she said, “because I go to lunch at 11:30 so I’ll miss it.”

“Well, Momma,” I replied, “lunch doesn’t last an hour and half.”

“Sometimes it does. None of us can hear so we have to repeat things a lot.”

“Well, Momma, I’ll call NASA and see if they can move it to 5:00.”

“No, that’s when I play dominoes so … you’re sassing me, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, Momma, I am.”

“Well, maybe they’ll have it at lunch.”

“Probably. They’re pretty much having it everywhere.”

Honestly, he did it twice.

Heel, Lassie, heal!