Fox News Host Jesse Watters takes the Grand Prize.

He was on Hannity’s show and they were discussing what Hannity calls the pee-pee tape, a subject Hannity seems not only obsessed on, but also a tad too comfortable talking about. You know, like he has some area of expertise.

Anyway, Watters says he knows the pee-pee tape is not true.  And how does he know?

You kinda have to prepare yourself for his answer.  So, take a deep breath.

Watters explains …

“And you know it’s not true because if someone pees in the bed, where are you going to sleep?” interjected Watters. “Where are you going to sleep?”

The other guest, Democrat Jessica Tarlov, does a double take, pauses for a minute looking at Watters to see if there’s any sign of life, and responds, “I don’t think he’s having a sleepover with them.”

Watters insisted, “It’s obviously not true, that doesn’t make any sense.”

Tarlov looks at him like he’s a first grader. “I think it’s transactional,” said Tarlov. “I don’t think it’s a cuddlefest.”

Don’t you wonder if he and his wife have hot sleep?

Aren’t you glad you know me?  Otherwise this event would have totally escaped your world.

Thanks to Bubba for the heads up.

Tune in tomorrow for more Tales From The Swamp.

I want to say one damn thing: I am so glad we have Adam Schiff on our team.

And I am terribly afraid of this damn president.

UPDATE:  this is the damnest thing I’ve seen all week, which is saying something.

MSNBC’s Pete Williams reported on Thursday that House Republicans could read a controversial classified memo on the House floor without declassifying it to prevent the FBI, which has opposed the disclosure, from giving a full-throated rebuttal.

The House rules say they can disclose publicly any information that’s been classified,” he continued. “That doesn’t declassify it technically. It just makes it public. Only the executive branch can declassify. So, the FBI’s hands would be tied in terms of how they can respond.”

I’d rather insult a tiger while having two pork chops in my back pocket than trust Devin Nunes.

This memo could include the Trump video from the Russian hotel room and I wouldn’t believe that either because … Nunes.

Thanks to SGray for the update heads up.

Here’s the question of the hour:  Was Ben Carson always a damn crook or did he just become that way under Trump’s influence?

It strongly appears that Carson used his position to allow his family to gain a lucrative government contract.

Carson was warned not to take his family along on “listening tours” because it might seem that it would be a conflict of interest.  Carson did not heed the warning and even allowed his son to make inappropriate follow-up calls to the tour.

The officials also told Cruciani [HUD’s deputy general counsel] that Carson Jr. and his wife asked that Seema Verma, administrator of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, be invited.

A little less than three months later, according to federal records, CMS awarded a $485,000 contract to the consulting company Myriddian, whose chief executive is Merlynn Carson. Carson Jr. identifies himself online as one of Myriddian’s board members. The contract was awarded without a competitive bidding process, federal records show, although a CMS spokesman said multiple minority-owned firms were considered.”

It’s a complicated story but it results in family ties being stronger than that portrait of Carson with Jesus.  Carson’s wife, son, and daughter-in-law accompany him almost everywhere.  To their credit, he hasn’t gotten lost recently.

Thanks to SGray for the heads up.

Y’all need to quit pestering me about Trey Gowdy not running for re-election.  I am very busy right now dancing on the table tossing glitter every which a way.

Remember when South Texas Congressslob Blake Farenthold promised to repay the $84,000 of taxpayer money he used to payoff a woman he had sexually harassed?

That was on December 3rd and he promised to repay it within a week.

I hope you haven’t been holding your breath or tapping your fingers on the breakfast table waiting for Blake to write a check.

U.S. Rep. Blake Farenthold has backed off his pledge to pay back a taxpayer-funded sexual harassment settlement.

A member of his communications staff says, on the advice of counsel, Farenthold is “waiting to see what changes the House makes to the Congressional Accountability Act before repaying the funds.”

No, no, uh uh, no.  Whatever changes they do make, Blake still owes you and me $84,000.  Nothing is gonna change that except for a check for $84,000 with Blake’s signature on it.

Now here’s the fun part. It ain’t like he can’t afford it.  He’s worth $6.6 million smackeronis.

Write a damn check, Blake.

However, Blake is trying to kiss-up to the ladies in another way.

Too little, too late, Bozo.

That’s all you gave the ladies, when you had plenty of money for lawyers?

Now, those of you with time to tap your fingers on the table, go look at Blake’s expenses with his campaign money.  He shames Louie Gohmert in the Holy Cow! department.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Texas Agriculture Commission and all-around jackass, Sid Miller, tweeted yesterday about the Nunes Memo.

If somebody would please point me to a starting place, I’ll try to ‘splain it to him.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.