I was fixing to tell you that I had been indisposed this morning because I have decided that when when all the behind-closed-doors books come out about the Trump presidency, I’m going to have to rent a beach house for a month with a hammock underneath on the breezeway and read my butt silly.

I was coming here to tell you not to miss Axios today because when I think of the fun we all missed by not being able to watch … oh dear, it just doesn’t seem fair.

And then I discover that El Jefe beat me to it.

Honey, it is frightful and delightful at the same time.  Get a cup of coffee and read it.

And if you’ve already read it, check out how a 72 year old retired nurse in Michigan almost got herself virtually shot by a Proud Boy supporter.

Be watching for the Juanita Jean Beach House Rental Fund in the coming month.  Or if you’re armpit deep in snow, be my rental agent and look for a (2 bedroom 2 bath or more) beach house on a beach or close enough to hear the surf, anywhere from Bolivar peninsula to Corpus Christi. Bolivar for the seclusion, Galveston and Rockport for the food, and Corpus Christi for the rowdy friends.  Anywhere will do because my rowdy friends have cars.

Don’t forget to read the Axios.

Save America is Trump’s PAC to keep himself viable or to buy airplane tickets to Russia for his family and Rudy Giuliani.

It’s surprising how little money is in it considering Trump’s pre-election fundraising.  And that was with the benefit of deceptive advertising. In mid-December, it was reported …

Over the past few weeks, President Donald Trump has been imploring his supporters to donate to the “Georgia Election Fund” to support Republicans in the two upcoming Georgia Senate runoffs. The plea has been part of Trump’s massive post-election fundraising effort, much of which has been going to Trump’s new political action committee, Save America.

I’m not saying that syphoning off that money cost Republicans the election in Georgia, but it sure didn’t help one little bit.

In the [fundraising letter’s] fine print, the letter breaks down the distribution of funds as follows: 25% of each contribution goes to the RNC, and 75% of each contribution first goes to Save America, up to $5,000, with the rest of the 75% going to the Trump campaign, up to $2,800 for an individual donor and $5,000 for a PAC donor.

My hedge fund and I say this is their heyday and it’s all downhill from here.

The road to saving America ends at Trump’s butt.

Willie sent me this and I thought I’d share it with you because it’s cute.

I believe Anderson Cooper built a Jewish Space laser on a socialist dare.

For a while here, we have followed the massive amounts of money that RNC Chairperson Ronna McDaniels spend on hair and makeup at donors’ expense. Thousands, y’all, thousands of dollars.

Well, Honey, I am all for the public’s right to know and transparency and all that, but there are some things I’d buy out of my own pocket …

Checking the date on it, it was the day after the Loeffler and Warnock debate and the day before Georgia certifies the election for Biden. I guess she was trying to hold it together.

By the way, those of you who like to scroll through the expenditures (like exactly what office supplies did they buy at PetSmart?) just click right here.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen Queen for the smirk.

Come to find out most of those domestic terrorists who tried to overthrow the government with violence did not even bother to vote. Probably because they were too busy playing tough guy on the Internet Machine.

Come on, dudes, how can we steal something from you that you never owned?

Thelma says they didn’t vote because paramilitary outfits, while fine at Trump rallies, WalMart, and Fast Eddie’s Cold Beer and Pool Emporium, it just doesn’t look right in the voting line at the elementary school.

And while I agree with Thelma that it could be a fashion accessory problem, most of these guys don’t vote because they can’t figure out how to use the machines and they won’t ask for directions.

Y’all, so far I’ve found out that one of his lawyers was Jeffrey Epstein’s lawyer and the other was the prosecutor who wouldn’t prosecutor Bill Cosby.

I will do more research tomorrow but if you find anything, put it in the comments.