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My Other Friend Bob is in the Houston Chronicle today with some dandy oil well safety regulation ideas.

You can go over there and get into a fight with Republicans, Libertarians, and all the other nut cases who thin k the free market will solve everything form oil spills to bunions.

Bob calls for —

• • An immediate moratorium on all offshore drilling that involves sea-floor well control, until standardized systems are developed and tested that prove a well can be controlled and killed without the necessity of a connected surface rig.

• • Development of a sophisticated, high-volume, subsea oil-collection system that is available 24/7 to the industry for more efficient cleanup of spills in the event they do occur.

• • Strict regulation of the types and use of oil dispersants to mitigate damage to the environment and life.

• • Complete the split of the Minerals Management Service into the three agencies, making safety and environmental regulation totally separate from the revenue and leasing functions.

• • Conform safety, equipment, procedures and inspections for all vessels working in U.S. waters, whether they are foreign or U.S. flagged. Strengthen tax regulation to assure all vessels are on equal footing.

• • Establish a subsea technology function within the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration or the MMS to advance the research, standardization and regulation of all subsea operations in U.S. waters, with the goal of making these functions safer and more reliable.

By the way, My Other Friend Bob is an oil man, but not the Dick Cheney kind.  Not even close.

Bob’s regular blog is listed on the right side over there as El Jefe Bob.

And Regular Bob is also back at work.  Check out what he’s done for Democrats.

Fort Bend County, the home of Tom DeLay, went 48.5% for Barack Obama and we’re pushing it over the top this year.  Be a part of it.  We’re going to do the Rent a Sign thing this summer where you can buy a Democratic yardsign to be placed in Fort Bend and we even put your name on it and send you a picture of it for $25.  Start saving your money NOW.

Thank you, Don Wright.

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Willie got his hair cut, which I hate.

The shirt, however, I love.

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“If you’re not willing to support gays in the military and the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, you will be required to enlist in the military.  That’s gonna be the law when I’m President,” Juanita announced this morning.

Juanita’s first assistant hairdresser,  Winston Taylor “Twirlie” Harrison, came across the shop and hugged her a big one.

Twirlie was a Marine.  Who liked show tunes.  Nobody seemed to mind.

“Gays have served in the military forever,” Twirlie reports.  “We just had to hide it.  Which is all kinds of strange considering that rape of female enlisted is a major problem.”

He’s right.  Twirlie usually is.

“It’s time.  In fact, it’s way past time.  And if you oppose it, go enlist because we need more folks enlisting.  Otherwise, shut the heck up.”

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Not.

WASHINGTON — Democratic sources say the Obama administration has fired the head of the U.S. Minerals Management Service in response to blistering criticism over lax oversight of offshore drilling.

The sources, speaking on condition of anonymity before the official announcement, tell The Associated Press that President Barack Obama will announce the decision Thursday.

“Girl, if that’s the best you can do, turn in your hooters and move out of town like you’ve got a handful of fire,” Juanita says with ice water running through her veins.  “We don’t handle incompetence well.  We’ve had enough under Bush to last a generation or three.”

“And, come to find out, we’ve been lied to all along.  BP’s story was taller than it was wide:  this is the worst oil spill in US history.  I fully understand that the Exxon Valdez was caused by a drunk.  Same deal with this one – except that they were drunk with greed, not alcohol.”

Thelma pipes in, “The clean up is going to harder than trying to get a drink out of a firehose.  Like shooting pool with a calf rope.  Eating jello with chopsticks.  Trying to light a wet match.  Catching a housefly with a tea cup.  Picking up …..”

“We get it,” everyone says in unison.

“Think about it in cosmic terms,” Thelma suggests.  “By the time we get that mess cleaned up, our clothes will be out of style.”

Whoa ….. That hit home.

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Those of you who live around here know that Fort Bend is blessed to have a local connection to that whole made-up ACORN sting thing.

One of Fort Bend’s representative to the State Republican Executive Committee was all puffed-up and proud that her granddaughter, Hannah Giles, played the hooker.

And then, apparently, a hooker wasn’t needed to break into Senator Mary Landrieu’s office, because Hannah’s pimp did that operation with another sucker.

Four conservative activists accused of trying to tamper with the phones in Sen. Mary Landrieu’s office pleaded guilty Wednesday to misdemeanor charges of entering federal property under false pretenses.  James O’Keefe, 25, famous for wearing a pimp costume in a video that embarrassed the ACORN, was sentenced to three years probation, 100 hours of community service and a $1,500 fine.

Terese Raia and Friend

“So, Ms. Terese Raia, Member of the SREC, Super DeLux Brand Christian and Woman  Obsessed With Gay Folks, has been terribly silent since all this happened. And, oddly, Congressvarmint Pete Olson hasn’t retracted his resolution honoring Giles and O’Keefe, because he takes his orders from Ms. Raia,” Juanita reports.

Any ideas where Little Mr. Snappypants should have to do his community service?