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This ain’t long division.  This is simple.  Kennedy delivered his Ich bin ein Berliner speech on the WEST side of the wall.

Joe Miller is confused, or maybe not…..

On stemming illegal immigration, which appears to be a bigger problem in Alaska that you would suspect, Miller offered this solution.

“The first thing that has to be done is secure the border. . . East Germany was very, very able to reduce the flow. Now, obviously, other things were involved. We have the capacity to, as a great nation, secure the border. If East Germany could, we could.”

“Yes, Joe,” Juanita grins, “East Germany closed the border very successfully.  They also starved to death, shot their own citizens, did away with democracy, and – at the very least – were a whole bunch of stinkin’ communists, you damnfool.”

“Ya think maybe Joe knows something about the Tea Party plans that us regular folks don’t?” Juanita wonders.

I’m pondering the same thing.

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As you’ve probably heard, Rand Paul crumbled like a dry leaf when confronted with his wacky thoughts and actions.

“Honey, that spoiled little fella can dish it out but he can’t take it,” Juanita laughs.  “He even refused to shake his opponent’s hand after the debate.  That happened once in Texas and was what what put Ann Richards in the Governor’s mansion.  Ladies and gentlemen shake hands.”

“Let me state right here that Rand Paul does not get his hair cut here.  I have no idea where he got those hair plugs but I bet it hurt like a bugger.”

“And I want to voters of Kentucky to think about one little thing – if Rand Paul can’t stand up to Rachel Maddow, what makes you think he’ll stand up for you?”

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Thank you, Carol!

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Sometimes the best way to tell a story is just to tell it.  I’ll let Juanita do that.

A little boy who used to live in my house came home from second grade one day and announced, “I hate girls.”

“Well,” I replied, “that unfortunate because one day you might need to marry one.”

The little boy pondered for a moment and then looked at me with rolling eyes, “Duh,” he began, “You marry women.  I like women.  It’s girls that I hate.”

That has stayed with me because I have come to agree with him.  The second grade girls were silly and giggly and picked on everybody.

Sadly, some of them never became women.  They stayed girls all their lives.

And when they got older, they became Republicans and ran for office.

It’s girls that I don’t like.

Sarah Palin is not a woman.  She’s still a girl.  Michelle Bachmann, Christine O’Donnell — all girls, not grown up women.

I have another example for you today.  Rebecca Kleefisch is running for lieutenant governor in Wisconsin.  She ran a tv ad about how wonderful her heath care has been for her cancer treatments but forgot to mention one small fact – her heath care is paid for by the government she hates.

In the ad, which began airing statewide Tuesday, Kleefisch doesn’t mention that her cancer treatments were paid for through the state-subsidized health insurance plan of her husband, state Rep. Joel Kleefisch, a Republican from Oconomowoc.

But Kleefisch does say that “thanks to the highest quality health care system in the world, I won my battle with cancer.”

Kleefisch pays $85 per month for her health insurance with the rest of the cost, $1,722, paid by the state.

So, people who cannot afford $1,802 a month for heath insurance do not get “the highest quality heath care in the world.”    She is denying heath care to the very people who are paying for hers.

What a girl!

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If you’re here, you’re probably wondering what Republican candidate just got caught doing something so outrageous that that it rates a 10 on the Tiger Woods Scale.

We do not aim to disappoint you.

Texas Republican Blake Farenthold, running against Democrat Solomon Ortiz, has perhaps unwisely posed for some gamey pictures.

That’s Blake in the cute jammies.  I do not know who the other people are and, frankly, I’m a better person for not knowing.

When the pictures first surfaced, Blake’s campaign manager said the event was to raise money for Big Brothers and Big Sisters.  Well, that would be very sweet if it was true.  It’s not.

Come to find out, the pictures were online at The Crush Girls.

Juanita doesn’t care why a candidate for congress would allow his picture to me made with ladies in their bloomers.  She doesn’t even want to know what he was thinking for posing with a minor dressed that way.  What Juanita wants to know is, “Where can you get ducky pajamas in that size?  Omar the Tent Maker?”

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How you know your local newspaper has just flat run out of ideas?

No, seriously.  (Probably won’t be there for long.)  I’d like you to vote for Thursday.  I feel very strongly that Thursday is the best day of the week.  Tuesday sucks, and Wednesday is vacuous.  Oh Sunday, don’t even get me started on Sunday.  Monday is playful with a hint of oak and berries.