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“What the heck fool tarnation gosh drat are we gonna do with Teabaggers and the mysteries of spelling?” Juanita wants to know.

Ken Mercer is running for re-election to the Texas Board of Education.  Re-election.  This nincompoop is one of the turkeys currently on the school board.

He has a Facebook Page.  For those of you who get hives from Facebook, I have provided a screenshot of his page.  Click the little one to get the big one.

Can’t find it?

“Look closely, he is on the State Board of Education, he’s a Teabagger Republican, and he’s has a campaign — well, I’m not sure sure about the last one.  I think it’s more like a campagin.  Maybe that’s a campaign with free champagne at the headquarters.  I dunno,” she admits.

In one of those perfect moments of irony, on Ken’s website he wants “a return to true phonics, grammar, spelling and writing (goodbye to thirty plus years of the bureaucratic failure known as “whole language”)”

Ken is for family, faith, and freedom and he wants to put Sean Hannity in Texas social studies textbooks.

However, he apparently opposes spelling.

Thanks to Jon for the heads up on this one!

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“You know, no matter how bad I am, I will still be miles above Phil and Wendy Gramm in hell.  No kidding, Hon, I could steal the devil’s girlfriend and still not end up as far down in the pits of hell as they are going,” Juanita says.  And, she offers up proof.

Wendy and Phil

An administrative law judge presiding over investor complaints at the Commodity Futures Trading Commission recently wanted to retire.  However, he stomped his feet and demanded that the remaining cases assigned to him not go to the other administrative judge, Bruce Levine.

Why?

Because Wendy Gramm has a date with Satan.

The retiring judge tells this story —

“On Judge Levine’s first week on the job, nearly twenty years ago, he came into my office and stated that he had promised Wendy Gramm, then Chairwoman of the Commission, that we would never rule in a complainant’s favor,” Painter wrote. “A review of his rulings will confirm that he fulfilled his vow,” Painter wrote.

Painter continued: “Judge Levine, in the cynical guise of enforcing the rules, forces pro se complainants to run a hostile procedural gauntlet until they lose hope, and either withdraw their complaint or settle for a pittance, regardless of the merits of the case.”

When confronted with this, Judge Levine had no comment and neither did Wendy.

Gramm could not be reached for comment. Her husband, former senator Phil Gramm (R-Tex.), said he would pass along a message but added, “I doubt she’s going to want to get involved in this.”

Ya think?  Yeah well, since getting involved in the first place made her kissin’ cousins with evil, maybe she should just shuddup when Beelzebub is taking notes.

“I take some comfort in knowing that no matter what I do, I will never be as bad as Wendy and Phil Gramm,” Juanita shakes her head.  “Those two will be stringing barb wire in hell.”

Isn’t it amazing that Wendy can’t be prosecuted for this?

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It’s called COW WOW and you can vote on which Texas Governor candidate has the best hair.

The voting is running neck and neck right now so head on over and vote for Bill White because what’s inside the head is far more important that what’s outside of it.

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Juanita closed down the beauty salon today to go volunteer at the Democratic headquarters in Fort Bend County today.  We’re doing a humongous phone bank today and Juanita never misses a phone bank party!

Things were going really well until her neighbor city, Houston, damn well near exploded with hate.

A group trying to register voters in Houston received threats and emails containing racist slurs after being targeted by a local tea party group accusing it of “voter fraud.”

“Now, I’d love to tell you what was in those emails but Momma comes to this website, and Momma would chase me with a bar soap and a switch for even repeating the things those emails said,” Juanita explains.  “So, you’re just going to have to follow the link and see for yourself.”

“Look, I know a lot of this Tea Party crapola is pure racism,” she says.  “But, please don’t forget what they did to Bill Clinton.  Hell, they accused him of killing people!  They are just a hateful bunch of crazy people.”

And speaking of crazy people, please don’t miss Andy Borowitz’s take on Clarence Thomas’s Tea Party wife calling Anita Hill.  It is brilliant.

And double crazy is the fact that Texas will now be selling Tea Party license plates.  At least we’ll know not to park near them at the Luby’s cafeteria because those suckers have bean dip for brains.

And in the triple Z crazzzy department, we have Glenn Beck who announced —

On his radio show today, Beck wondered how many people in the country believe in evolution, and said he doesn’t: “I don’t think we came from monkeys. I think that’s ridiculous. I haven’t seen a half-monkey, half-person yet.”

Glen, you haven’t seen the half-monkey half-person in your mirror?

And, just for fun, Glenn is hawking survivalist food to go along with this gold.  “Honey, survival food, gold and lotsa ammo and you’re set just in case Sarah Palin does become President,” Juanita announces.  “Honey, if it lasts longer than a jar of peanut butter, a half gallon of Blue Bell, and a case of hair spray I do not want to stick around.  Especially if Glenn Beck is.”