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“America was handed a hitch in our getalong yesterday by some damn fool judge in Florida,” Juanita says.  “How come Republicans just all the sudden love activist judges?”

“That damn fool judge just about openly admitted that health care is too complicated for him to understand.  So, instead lf trying to figure it out, he just hollered NO to the whole thing.”

“There are simply too many moving parts … for me to try and dissect out … the able-to-stand-alone from the unable-to-stand alone,” he wrote.

“I can understand that.  Instead of explaining yourself, it’s just easier to say NO, NO, NO,” Juanita says.

“So because his figure-outter is broken, he pees on the campfire and calls it a night,” Juanita explains.  “You know, that’s what made America great:  people who ain’t real bright messing up what the real bright people do,” she says with sarcasm dripping all over the floor.

“Thankfully, one damn fool judge in Florida can’t throw out the nation’s health care.  So, the Republican can quit with hallelujahing because the fat lady hasn’t even put on her hat yet.”

“Damn fool judge,” she mumbles.

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Come to find out, I need to go over my AT&T bill this month with a fine tooth comb.  Juanita just found out that there may be a Rick Perry Surcharge on our AT&T bills.

Rick Perry’s Republican Governor’s Association served as cashier for the purchase of 700 copies of his book Fed-Up. Dallas-based AT&T paid for the books, which were distributed to state legislators, lobbyists and activists at a conservative policy summit in December in Washington. The cost: $18,349, according to the latest campaign filing by the Republican Governors Association, which Perry heads.

So, Rick Perry pressured AT&T to up his book sales through an organization that Rick Perry heads.  Cute.

The purchase has raised some concerns among campaign-reform advocates who note that AT&T, which was boosting sales of Perry’s book, has a lot of business before the state of Texas and Texas regulators.

Ya think?  Really?

“Hey, Rick,” Juanita hollers, “guess who’s fed up now?”

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We’re hunkering down here in Southeast Texas because, dammit, it’s gonna freeze the banana trees.  We’re expecting ice, and maybe even snow.  We haven’t had a big hard snow here since 1973, and that’s the truth.

Truman is ready!

So, this is now becoming the official “Damn, Honey, this weather will freeze boiling water so fast that it’ll make warm ice cubes” thread.  Tell us how cold it is where you are over the next few days.  If you want to send pictures, email them to me at susan@brazosriver.com and tell me where you took them.  I’ll post them when I’m not sitting with my feet near the fireplace.

Stay warm and check in here often!

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“You know what Texas teachers need?” Juanita asks.

“Less money and more unpaid work time – that’s what they need.”

School districts should be allowed to give teachers unpaid furloughs and cut their salaries to help deal with a funding shortfall that one estimate says could cost 100,000 jobs, a leading state senator said.

“One of those burdens that we have placed on our school districts is that they cannot decrease your salary. They can’t have furlough days. It’s not allowed in the law. The only option is to fire,” Shapiro said. “We need to give them the ability to lower teacher salaries.”

“So, all you teachers out there who voted Republican, please hold up your hand to be first in line for the pay cut and unpaid furloughs,”  Juanita shakes her head and sighs.

“You know one cut I’d like to see?  I’d like to see a law that says that an administrator can only make twice what the lowest paid teacher makes and a superintendent can only make three times that number.  That will save some damn money where it needs to be saved!”

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A couple of days ago, Juanita made a comment over on Facebook that it was “a nakkid on the back porch kind of day.”  She was a little stunned to hear people respond that they didn’t know what that meant.

“That’s an old saying that it’s a perfectly beautiful day,” she explains.  “And we’ve been having a string of those on the Texas coast lately.  It’s often said that we most certainly do have 4 seasons on the coast – drought, hurricane, sizzle and blue norther.  It’s blue norther time —

But, not to fret about Texas staying as cold as Rick Perry’s heart.  We’ll be back up to 65 by Sunday – and that’s his IQ.

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“Aaron Pena has only been a Republican for a couple of months, but he’s already learned how to screw Hispanics,” Juanita announces.  “He must be in the advanced placement class.”

Juanita was amused reading the morning papers.  “Aaron Pena (no tilde because Republicans don’t have any) is a South Texas Democratic turncoat who switched parties before the ink dried on the D after his name on the ballot.”

“He got off to a great start by supporting Voter ID and not supporting helping people at the polls,” Juanita reports.

Peña, the Edinburg legislator who switched to the Republican Party in December, was selected chairman of the conference that he said will advocate for Hispanic issues within the Republican Party. Among those issues he said the conference should tackle is abuse by politiqueras in mail-in ballots and through assisted voting.

“I think this is some sort of record.  It did not take long for Señor Peña to become Senor Pena, El Chaquetero,” she says.

“One more thing – has it occurred to anybody that if I get mugged or my purse gets stolen the day before election, I won’t have my picture ID and I can’t vote,” Juanita hollers.