Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’

Sanford Slime Across Texas

May 17, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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Most Texans cringe at the name of Allen Stanford.  He bilked Texans out of $582 million dollars in a giant Ponzi scheme.  That’s a slightly bigger scam than Buck Pochek spent 5 years in prison for when people paid him $10 upfront to paint their address on the curb in front of their houses with a tasteful Texas flag motif.  Buck got drunk the night before and spent all the front money in a honky tonk on a floozy woman who promised that she was a member of the Swedish Olympic Ski Team.  Her size 18 pedal pushers should have clued Buck to the problem but Buck, of course, was so drunk that he had to hold on to the grass to lean against the ground, so her unlean stature didn’t matter much to him.

But, back to Allen Stanford, who according to all public records, was not that drunk the entire five years he scammed Texans with the head-turning eyes of Texas Senator John Cornyn and my personal favorite slimepatty, Tom DeLay.

While awaiting trial, Stanford got into a prison fight resulting in traumatic brain injury.  They say he’s too screwed-up to stand trial now.

There a giant ole article at the Washington Post this morning about the mess left behind by Stanford and the politicians he bought.  It’ll turn your stomach because most of the politicians – Democrats, too – are refusing to return the donations they got from Stanford to buy their influence.  That means the people who invested with Stanford lose 95% of their money.

Cornyn’s office said he donated the funds to a charity after the scandal erupted; asked why they were not sent to the receiver, spokesman Kevin McLaughlin said, “We have no further comment.” A victims group says that 1,300 Texans who invested in Stanford’s firms lost $582 million. Cornyn now chairs the National Republican Senatorial Committee, which is fighting a receiver lawsuit demanding the return of $83,345.

Cornyn makes my skin crawl.  Personally, I think he spent the money on fringe.

And then there’s Tom DeLay.  You wanna talk about somebody too screwed up to stand trial?  Baby, he was so screwed up at his trial that he couldn’t even testify.  But, I’m ready to send him back for another round after reading this —

Cornyn flew on one of Stanford’s jets once, his office states, while then-House Majority Leader Tom DeLay flew about a dozen times, according to an aide. In 2004, DeLay (R-Tex.) and four other congressmen wrote to a top Venezuelan banking official attesting to Stanford’s honesty; the government there subsequently allowed Stanford to open more than a dozen branches that attracted more than $1.5 billion. His Venezuelan bank’s collapse led to a government takeover and huge losses by accountholders.

DeLay attorney Brian Wice said that “if the government can prove to a jury . . . that the allegations about the scope of Mr. Stanford’s Ponzi scheme are true, then Mr. DeLay wasn’t the only individual whom Mr. Stanford was able to deceive.”

Writ twits make me crazy.  If Tom was attesting to Stanford’s “honesty,” don’t you think he would have checked into Stanford very seedy background?  And it’s okay for Tom to do it because other people did it, too?  Don’t lawyers have mothers?  On second thought, don’t answer that.

And, friends, I want you to call every Democrat in the story and tell them that Democrats are supposed to be the good guys.  We’re supposed to set the standard.  We’re supposed to care about people more than we care about corporate jet rides.  And if they don’t return the money to the investors, then we’ll primary their hineys!  Do it.  You’ll be proud of yourself.

And Speaking of Cars — *UPDATED

May 16, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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I got this bumper sticker for my car from a friend this morning.  I love it very much.

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And then there’s the strange case of the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles turning their heads for an attack on the President and decency everywhere.

It seems that a gas guzzler in Washington DeeCee is sporting these license plates.

The car belongs to a congressional aide to Texas Republican Congressvarmint Rep. K. Michael Conaway.

A reporter for Mother Jones played the dickens trying too find out who owns the license plate.

A few days later, in a follow-up call concerning the request, a DMV official asked me for the plate information and ran it in the agency’s database. As the information popped up on her screen, I heard her gasp. She told me the information was “sensitive.” I asked whether this had to do specifically with the individual whose registration information I was requesting, or because of general privacy issues. “Both,” she responded, refusing to provide any further information by phone.

In a subsequent call, a separate DMV official, who works in the agency’s special plates division, supplied more information that contributed to the mystery. She said that a committee reviews all novelty plate requests to weed out tags containing vulgarity, racist connotations, sexual references, or other terms that might be objectionable to fellow motorists. She told me that the plate “WTF” is specifically banned. “It’s currently in our system as ‘Do not issue this plate,'” she said. She seemed surprised that WTF 44 had been issued, and said she “strongly” thought it was an “inappropriate reference.”

Well, you can’t have a WTF license plate.  I mean you specifically.  I do not know if an exception to the rule is made for (1) Republicans, (2) Republicans who work for a Republican Congressman, (3) Republicans who drive Lincoln Navigators, (4) Republicans who dislike President #44, or (5) “Sensitive” Republicans.

I do intend to find out, though.

*UPDATED

And here’s who the plate is registered to: (Click the little one to get the big one.  Like magic, huh?)

I think I’ll call the DMV today and see if I can get the plate 43 FK-er.

Well, Damn

May 16, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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Donald Trump is ruining all the fun.

Catfish Noodling

May 16, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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I think these men should be allowed to do this.  I just think they should not be allowed to reproduce.

The video is not work or Momma safe.  Billy Bob is what we call “colorful.”

Thanks to Steve for the heads-up.

Meanwhile, Back in Sugar Land

May 16, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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Our customer Ralph just sent us information that the fourth amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America has been overturned in Indiana.

Overturning a common law dating back to the English Magna Carta of 1215, the Indiana Supreme Court ruled Thursday that Hoosiers have no right to resist unlawful police entry into their homes.

In a 3-2 decision, Justice Steven David writing for the court said if a police officer wants to enter a home for any reason or no reason at all, a homeowner cannot do anything to block the officer’s entry.

So, at least in Indiana, the conservatives on the court say that cops can come into your house “for no reason at all,” check out your personal belongings, and probably even lay down in your beds to see which one is too soft, which one is too hard, and which one is just right.

The conservative judges said that if a cop enters your home illegally, you can still make bail and and still have “plenty of opportunities to protest the illegal entry through the court system.”  The court has obviously not checked the price of a lawyer lately.  Proving your innocence seems a tad … oh, I dunno, odd?

Meanwhile, back in Sugar Land, Texas, where rich white people are under attack  —

Do you know what poses an even greater risk than allowing armed police to enter your home and stay as long as they’d like whenever they like, and probably even drink your beer and eat your Doritos?

Sharia Law!  In Sugar Land!  Yikes!  Yikes!  Yikes!

Sugar Land had an election last weekend for city council and school board.  The big issue?  Sharia law.  It seems that a bank opened in Sugar Land to cater to the large Muslim population.

The Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club held a debate and Sharia law headlined the event, literally.

A member of the audience posed a specific question to Farha Ahmed, again citing the Sharia Law.

An Islamic bank, under Sharia law, recently opened in Sugar Land and Ahmed was among those present. She was asked to explain about the bank and her presence there.

Ahmed said it was a community event attended by several local members, including the mayor of Sugar Land.

Ahmed said the bank was established by a group of people from a particular region of India. That community brought its culture and custom in banking from home and established the bank for its members, to help advance capital for projects without collateral.

Cynthia Dunbar: Belles of Heaven Republican Women's Club

Yep, freedom of assembly and capitalism are shameless unAmerican activities in Sugar Land.

You know, the more I think about it, I cannot understand why the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club would be against Sharia law.  Sharia law supports forced religion, women as second class citizens, no drinking or gambling, and the death penalty for homosexuality.  Gee, all that is in the by-laws of the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club!

Farha Ahmed is in a run-off for a city council seat.  I’m sending her a couple of dollars, just to  hack-off the Belles.  Besides, she’s a really nice chick with a lot on the ball.

The Daily Newt

May 15, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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