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Oh, dear.

Newt Gingrich’s catastrophic first week as an official Republican primary candidate may knock him out of the race before it even gets started. And if he stays in, fundraising will now be much more difficult, and that could hasten his exit, Republican sources said.

I give it a week, 10 days tops.

And I hate that because this is fun.

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Up until this very minute, when Janette just told me, I did not know that the United States Secret Service had a Twitter account.

They do.  And it’s very classy.

The Secret Service is apologizing Wednesday after an employee’s personal dislike for Fox News landed in an official tweet.

The message, posted Wednesday on the @SecretService Twitter account read, “Had to monitor Fox for a story. Can’t. Deal. With. The. Blathering.”

According to the agency, the tweet was “immediately removed” and an “internal follow-up” is underway.

“An employee with access to the Secret Service’s Twitter account, who mistakenly believed they were on their personal account, posted an unapproved and inappropriate tweet,” read a statement from the U.S. Secret Service.

Give that agent a raise for good taste and intelligence!  I completely understand.  I would rather test a bulletproof vest than watch FOX.

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Bubba’s stalker is back.

Bubba  got more snail mail from his anonymous stalker, Mr. Rushette.  It arrived yesterday.  Same return address, 4203 Fannin in Houston, which Ralph tracked down as the NAACP Family Technology Center.  It’s apparently Mr. Rushette’s cute little way of letting us know that there are actual black people in Houston. No, seriously, there are.  And no tellin’ what they’re up to at that there Family Technology Center.  Honey, those three words strike fear in the hearts of redneck stalkers.

This envelope only had two things in it, but it did have something new – a Ronald Reagan postage stamp.  Bubba says that’s a clue that there’s something ignorant inside.

Now, you’ll notice that Mr. Rushette carefully cut off who sent him the email that he sent Bubba by regular mail because forwarding emails is apparently above Mr. Rushette’s pay grade.  By the way, Bubba’s email address is far easier to come by than his home snail mail address.

But, the lamebrain didn’t bother to cut off the bottom.   Apparently, the employees of Cameron have nothing better to do than send around goofy emails. And, yeah, of course I’m mailing it to Cameron tomorrow.  You know you would, too.

And, once again, Mr. Rushette, like the vast majority of Republicans, has not one single original thing to say.

It’s grand fun to be Bubba.

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As you know, The Rapture is day after tomorrow.

So, make some damn plans, you idiot.

We at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. have decided that we want to be wherever it is that Jesus will go first.  Our reasoning is that he’ll still be in a good mood when he first gets here.  You know, before he finds out about that whole Republican budget thing, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

So we got to thinking.  If you were Jesus and you were coming back, where would you go?  Certainly not to church because they’ve got all those crosses there and that’s probably the last thing you want to be reminded of.  Maybe the Smokey Mountains?   That’s real pretty.

But, you’re probably hungry.  That solved it.

Thelma’s betting that Jesus will show up at Cooper’s Barbeque on Saturday.  Probably the New Braunfels location, because if Jesus wants to do anything fun, it surely would be tube the Guadalupe.

Verdelia says Shrimp and Stuff in Galveston.  “Jesus likes to go fishing,” she reminds us.

Then there’s the strong possibly that he’ll show up at the Save Our Schools Rally at the State Capitol on Saturday morning at 10:00.

Let us know what your plans are for The Rapture.  These are tough decisions in though times.

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Three customers have sent me this!  If you want to hack off the rightwing, you need one of these suckers!  I just ordered both of them.

Born in the USA on the front – long form birth certificate on the back!