.

Sometimes you just need to take the bridle off, throw away the skillet, and let the panther scream.

It’s time.

Remember the time we all piled onto a bus, drove to an entirely different district, fraudulently gave our home addresses as the local Dunkin’ Donuts shop, and then proceeded to vote a godless gay activist into office? Neither do I.

But Florida state Rep. Dennis Baxley (R.-but you already knew that) claims he does. Baxley is sponsoring a bill to make it harder for people (especially those most likely of the Democratic persuasion) to vote. Among his motivations—besides upholding Florida’s fine reputation for voting integrity—is to prevent a repeat of a story that Baxley claims he heard.

In Baxley’s anecdotal universe, “a homosexual activist candidate” imported other gay people from outside the district and had them use the address of Dunkin’ Donuts shop when they showed up to vote because the state allows change of address at the polling place. The upshot: they stole the election from the “pro-family” candidate.

We’re not saying we doubt the story (well, alright, we are), but Dunkin’ Donuts???? When is the last time you saw a gay person at a Dunkin’ Donuts? Is there a W Hotel Bar in Baxley’s district by any chance? You’d think Starbucks would be the bare minimum for this kind of gay vote stealing conspiracy.

That is the perfect story.

.

I bet you don’t know the real reason for Anthony Weiner’s behavior, do you?

Big government.  And,  Obamacare.

You knew this was coming, didn’t you?

Seriously, her name is Star Parker and somebody gave her a platform over at GOPUSA.

It would be nice to think that power in our nation is held by omniscient, God-fearing men and women, whose priority was the pursuit of truth and the good.

But, even the most idealistic among us understand this is not realistic and that our only possible protection from the many Anthony Weiners is limiting the power of government.

And we should not feel bad for his wife because she deserved this.  She did, after all, work for Hillary Clinton.  And besides, “Huma was also comfortable having her wedding ceremony officiated by the serial sleaze par excellence, Bill Clinton.”

Nothing like this would ever happen to a Republican woman.  You know, like Mrs. Vitter, Mrs. Sanford, Mrs. Ensign …..

Star defied both gravity and sanity in one short article by contending that Obamacare, regulation, big government, and popular democracy made Anthony Weiner do it.  I’m a little disappointed that she left out tax cuts for the rich.  I mean, if she was going for The Big Crazy, she should have worked that in.

“Hell, even I can do that,” Juanita smirks.  “If you stop the Bush tax cuts, nobody will be able to afford cell phones and this stuff wouldn’t happen.”

See, it’s easy.

.

Some of you are following the election in Sugar Land where an anonymous hate-mailer targeted a Muslim woman.

The mailer made her out to be a friend to terrorists, and put her life in danger.  And when the Democratic Party Chairman spoke out against these anonymous, illegal, and cowardly campaign tactics, the Republican Party Chairman, Rick Miller, insinuated that Democrats must be terrorists, too.

She lost.  1,340 to 1,474

Of course lost.  Because hate and fear works.  Apparently, illegal campaigning works, too.

Of note:  in the same run-off election, a woman won by 1 vote.  It was 790 to 791.  Both candidates are hardcore Republicans but at least the woman who won doesn’t drool too much.

.

“Texas Governor Rick Perry, on a mission from God, has rented Reliant Stadium on August 6th to pray loudly in front of every blessed soul in Texas,” Juanita says with practically glee in her voice.

“But, Honey, he better not pass the plate.”

From 2000, when Perry became governor, through 2009, he earned a total of $2.68 million according to his tax records. Of that amount, he gave half a percent to churches and religious organizations, or $14,243.

In 2007 — a year in which Perry reported an income of more than $1 million — he gave $90 to his church, according to the Perry family’s tax return. Twice since becoming governor, in 2000 and 2009, he reported no contributions to churches or religious organizations.

Most theologians agree that they could forgive Rick Perry for being the greediest sumbitch on the earth, “If his public policy really showed care and support for our children and single mothers and aging people and all the most vulnerable people … that Jesus Christ was most concerned about.”

San Antonio Democratic State Rep. Trey Martinez Fischer points out that Perry spent more on a subscription to Food and Wine Magazine than he gave to his church.

“And come to find out,” Juanita reports, “while he’s been Governor the majority of his charity giving was clothing dumps at Goodwill, valued at $30,768.  From 2000 – 2009, his tax returns show at least 21 trips to Goodwill.  This, of course, goes to prove that he’s making a habit of getting too big for his britches.”

“So, somewhere in Texas, a small child stuffed into a overcrowded classroom, sick with no health care, nothing to eat, with 11 brothers and sisters because his momma can’t get birth control at Planned Parenthood, is wearing a mighty fine pair of fancy pants thanks to Governor Rick Perry.  Or maybe some only-photographically-used cowboy chaps.  Ain’t that dandy?”

“But, the coolest explanation of all time came from a Perry spokesman,” she grins.

Perry declined an interview request by the San Antonio Express-News to discuss his views on prayer, personal religious observance and charitable giving.

“He never talks about his faith,” Perry spokesman Mark Miner said.

“Dude,” Juanita hollers, “he rented the largest stadium in Texas.  What is wrong with you?  Is your extended warranty overdue?”

“Another Perry spokesman tried to say that Perry does his part for religion by opposing choice,” she continues. “Buzzzzz …. sorry that’s the buzzer because there is no prize.  The majority of Christians now believe that abortion should be legal even when their church disagrees.”

Texans will probably want to read the whole shebang and marvel at some fine investigative reporting and the rest of you will want to just trust us when we say, “For Pete’s Sake, do not put another dumb hypocritical greedy Texan in the White House.”

Thanks to Corrine and June for the heads up.

.

Right here in Texas.

The Bandera County Sheriff’s Office issued a warning Thursday to citizens about an anti-government movement known for acts of domestic terrorism. The law enforcement agency said followers of The Sovereign Citizens Movement have been known to carry out violent acts, including killing law enforcement officers and other public servants.

There’s more.  There’s always more.

According to Hicks, followers of the anti-government, anarchist movement, share the belief that the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution has tricked Americans into becoming citizens of the United States and has offered them privileges, such as driver’s licenses and other government benefits, which act as so-called hidden contracts through which Americans effectively have given up their sovereignty.

Hicks said followers are often very vocal about their beliefs.”They’re very serious in their beliefs, and very serious when they do go to violence,” Hicks said. “They’ll kill you in a New York minute.”

“Don’t be getting into heated arguments with these people, because the potential for violence is there,” Hicks said.

These terrorists will be white, male, fond of gun shows, have a Nobama bumper sticker on their pick-up truck, and love Jesus.

Holy crap.

.

His name is Wayne Christian.  That’s why he got elected.  It certainly wasn’t for his smarts.

Earlier in the session, Christian had a bill against pansexual activities.  A smartypants Democrat asked Christian if he knew what pansexual means.  Of course, he didn’t.

Early, early this morning when most good people are in bed, State Representative Wayne Christian decided that what the Texas budget really, really needed wasn’t heath care or teachers or food for babies.  No, siree.  Wayne Christian decided that banning gender centers on college campuses in Texas was the one important thing Texas was lacking.  Under his amendment, gay students couldn’t even meet on campus.

State Rep. Wayne Christian, R-Center, resurrected an amendment to SB 1 that would ban colleges from using state funds or university facilities for gender and sexuality centers.

After insisting that parents, students and citizens “all across this state” have contacted him about banning gender centers on campus, under questioning from a Democrat, Christian admits it was Young Conservatives at A&M and some unknown group at UT.

But, Christian pressed on with his amendment.

Texas Democrats took a deep breath and reminded Christian that there is a First Amendment.  And that all Texans are equal.  And that hate is not a Christian value.

Wayne Christian finally withdrew his amendment.  He gave a long, rambling speech saying that he was just trying “to bring down the walls of prejudice.”  He explained that he was discriminated against in high school because they integrated the school in his senior year and he couldn’t play basketball because “white boys can’t jump.”  The horror of it all!

And this was about 2:30 in the morning and the bars were closed.

Hard to explain, isn’t it?

You can hear his weird speech by clicking here and scrolling down to #3.  It’s eight of the strangest minutes you’ll ever witness.

Thanks to June for the heads-up.