Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’

Well, We’re Pretty Much Even Because I Don’t Think We Should Let Men With Goofy Goatees Vote

September 02, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Ya know, in one way, it’s nice that they finally came out and admitted it.  They are not concerned about voter fraud.  They just don’t think poor people should get to vote.  I’m kinda glad they’re fessing up.

In another way, it’s so damn creepy and unAmerican that it’s just a shiver looking for a spine to run up.

Conservative columnist Matthew Vadum is just going to come right out and say it: registering the poor to vote is un-American and “like handing out burglary tools to criminals.”

“It is profoundly antisocial and un-American to empower the nonproductive segments of the population to destroy the country — which is precisely why Barack Obama zealously supports registering welfare recipients to vote,” Vadum, the author of a book published by World Net Daily that attacks the now-defunct community organizing group ACORN, writes in a column for the American Thinker.

Get this:  This dude works for something called the American Thinker.   Does anybody know where I file the false advertising complaint?

Oh Joe Walsh, You Make It So Easy

September 02, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

We’ve talked about Joe Walsh here at the Beauty Salon several times before, and we are perfectly delighted that he’s not attending the President of the United State’s remarks to Congress because … well, cooties are contagious.

We do, however, wish to extend our appreciation and admiration to the former Mrs. Joe Walsh for calling a dope a dope.

Hey, Joe, can I have your seat?  I’ll understand those three syllable words the President of the United States of America uses.

Thanks to Karen for the heads up.

Not To Worry

September 02, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Juanita got an email this morning from Melissa, who is a blogger of no small fame, fretting about Rick Perry’s summer reading list.

The first book on the list, and I seriously doubt that there’s more than one, is something called Turning the Tide. According to people who have read it, and that certainly would not be me, they say it’s about : “pray that Jews worldwide will accept Him as their Savior,” and to “Pray for God’s protection against terrorism and ask that Muslims through the world will come to know Jesus as their Savior.”

The good people at the National Jewish Defense Council are rightfully concerned.  And even the folks at New York Magazine are pondering on what this stuff means.

Let me try to quell the storm without riding the thunder.

Y’all, Rick Perry didn’t even read his own book.  What makes you think he’s going to read some other dude’s book?

Second, Remember George Bush and My Pet Goat?  George was the smart one.

Numero three, Rick Perry cannot read without moving his lips and pointing at each word with his finger.  That’s tiresome work and somebody eventually distracts him with a piece of fried chicken.

We here at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. are happy to be of service in explaining Rick Perry’s worldview.  It almost always includes Disneyland, with a heavy emphasis on Goofy.

Thanks to Melissa for the heads up.

They’ve Got More Money Than They Can Keep Dry

September 02, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The other day, Juanita called her plumber, Junior Janochek, Jr., to fix a clogged drain.  Junior, Jr., the Republican Precinct Chairman from Happy Fishing Trailer Park was talking about the Rick Perry “miracle” of creating jobs in Texas.

Junior, Jr., who hasn’t been able to afford his NRA dues in four years so he just uses a Magic Marker to update the expiration date,  was defending Rick Perry.  “Juanita,” he said, “I know that Rick Perry is creatin’ jobs.  Hellfire, Darlin’, I got four of them myself.”

So as we head into the Labor Day weekend, let us hold dear to our hearts the shrinking middle class in this country and the men and women holding down four jobs, none of which provide health insurance, paid vacation, or retirement benefits.

And let us also remember the folks in charge of being fair to them.

Texas is No. 1 on an annual list that those on it may not be too eager to publicize — Roll Call’s 50 richest members of Congress.

Six Texans made the list, with Rep. Michael McCaul, R-Austin, at No. 1. The former prosecutor is the richest of the rich, with $294 million in assets and no liabilities, much of it derived from his wife and her family. Linda McCaul is the daughter of Clear Channel Communications CEO Lowry Mays.

Other Texans on the list included Kenny Marchant, R-Coppell, a former home builder who ranked 19th for his $16.4 million in assets; Lloyd Doggett, D-Austin, who ranked 38th with $8.53 million; freshman Blake Farenthold, R-Corpus Christi, who earned 39th place with $8.51 million; freshman Bill Flores, R-Waco, a former oil industry executive who landed at No. 45 with $7.7 million; and Randy Neugebauer, R-Lubbock, who ranked 50th with $6.2 million.

There’s only one name in that list who gives a gnat’s butt about the middle class.  Guess who it is?

Thanks to Big Mike for the heads up.

Labor Day Weekend Reminder: Rick Perry is NOT Gay. Not Gay. Got It?

September 02, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

And if you ever forget that, he will  remind you.  Because he’s not.

GOP religious right presidential candidate Rick Perry, who has long been rumored to be gay, told uncommitted evangelicals and social conservatives that, “I can assure you that there is nothing in my life that will embarrass you if you decide to support me for president.”

What he means is, “I’m not gay.” But he didn’t want to say that, and the press reporting on the story, from the Texas Tribune to Politico, didn’t want to tell you that that was what Perry was talking about.

Gotta say, the coyness involved, all around, reminds me of the way former GOP party chair Ken Mehlman, and the media, used to coyly deal with rumors about him being gay. And we all know how that turned out (Ken is now openly gay).

I know it’s a long weekend and most of you will be going out of town and not checking in at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. so write this down somewhere.  Rick Perry is not gay and we know that because he says so.  A lot.  It’s only gay people who think he’s gay.

Thanks to Dawn for the heads up.

Thank You For Noticing, FEC

September 01, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Remember back when I told you about Dan Shelley, a legislative director for Rick Perry, and a Super PAC called Veterans for Rick Perry which was supposed to be totally independent from Rick’s campaign but the treasurer of Veterans for Perry was Dan Shelley’s wife, Bernadette?

Well, count on us to be your One Stop ‘Don’t This Look Odd’ Shop because the Federal Elections Commission saw it, too.  FEC Veterans For Rick Perry

– Any affiliated or connected organization must be identified on yourStatement of Organization. For further guidance on affiliated committees and connected organizations, please refer to 11 CFR §§100.5(g) and 100.6. If there are no other committees or organizations with which you share control or financing, please indicate “None” on Line 6. If you do share control or financing with other committees or organizations, please indicate their names, addresses, and relationships on Line 6. (11 CFR §102.2)

Oh yeah, like Citizens United didn’t give you enough wiggle room.  You need one family running several non-cahooting Super PACS.   Not only could they not speak to each other, they couldn’t even speak to themselves.

By the way, Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen is giving away free Blizzards to everyone who has a “Rick Perry is so dumb that …” joke.