Okay, so Rick Perry had dinner with Donald Trump.  Never have two stupid men of such large egos ever been in one room together.  We should have sent scientists.

Not only did Rick come away from the meeting unsure that Barack Obama was born in the United States, but there is also the distinct possibility that these two men wrote the new 2012 GOP Platform.

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU KNOW THAT RICK PERRY AND DONALD TRUMP WROTE THE GOP PLATFORM

10.  Official declaration that math is too hard.

9.  Extra marital affairs will now count as foreign affairs experience.

8. “I’m rubber and you’re glue” will be an officially sanctioned answer at future Presidential debates.

7.  Change the Statue of Liberty to a big haired blonde gal.

6.  Guns, Guns, Guns

5.  New motto:  It’s the hair, Stupid.

4.  Believes that America will save more if we just make shinier coins with Raquel Welch on them.

3.  Only people we personally approve get to vote.

2.  Instead of voting, the guy with the most skyscrapers wins.

1.  Favor constitutional amendment that Black and Mormon are like, you know, basically the same.

Thanks to Kathleen and Stephen for the heads-up on the Perry / Trump dinner.

I had lunch at Dairy Queen this afternoon and I kinda wish I hadn’t because Alfredo was spittin’ and snortin’ over his $5 a month bank charge for using his debit card.

I know that the Republican Party feels that if only banks had more money to hoard, everything would be just fine. But, I’m glad the banks are spreading a little of that hoarded money around to buy protection, cause Lord knows, they are gonna need it if we ever elect Alfredo to office.

Nothing can be said about banks that hasn’t already been said more eloquently about hemorrhoids.

Take Credit Suisse, for example.

Credit Suisse said in a statement from its Zurich headquarters that it had “received a letter notifying it that it is a target” of a U.S. Justice Department investigation concerning “historical private banking services provided on a cross-border basis to U.S. persons.”

Don’t you just love that tax evasion has been replaced with the much nicer sounding “historical private banking services”?

Anyway, the minute they heard that they were under investigation, Credit Suisse started throwing money at Congress.  Cantor got $2,500.  Pete Sessions in Texas got $5,000.  Charlie Rangle got $5,000.  But most disgusting of all is that Max Bachus got $5,000.  Is it really okay for the Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee to accept a $5,000 campaign check from a bank about to be indicted for tax evasion?  If so, is this a great country or what?

And then there’s HSBC.

Sept 28 (Reuters) – The United States heaped more pressure on HSBC Holdings, Europe’s second-largest bank, on Wednesday with an indictment that laid out the role of two unnamed senior HSBC executives in providing tax evasion services to Americans born in India.

But they are still in business with your local congressmutt.   Jeb Hensarling got a grand from them and a big GOP PAC got $2,500.

And the minute you even mention Phil Gramm’s bank, UBS, around Alfredo, he goes off like a rocket in a campfire.  Here’s just the very latest kickbacks to congress from the crookedest bank on earth.

Now what you need to remember is that these “campaign donations” are tax free and they can spend it however they want to — hell, they can even buy a yacht with it like our own Randy Neugebauer did.

So, while we Occupy Wall Street, Wall Street is occupying congress.  And, banks aren’t making loans because they’ve got it all hidden overseas in tax free accounts.

Friends, it’s been raining for 39 days and we ain’t built an ark.

So, the next time your congressman tries to shake you hand, don’t do it.  You don’t know where that hand has been.

This is not political.  Well, kinda.

I had an opportunity to ride down to the coast with Bubba last night.  Coming home, we drove through Angleton, Texas.  As you can probably suspect, Angleton is not your hotbed of urban development.  It’s mostly farm and cattle land with about a three mile strip of city along the highway, a full mile of it being Mom and Pop Mexican restaurants.

I suspect that you folks from foreign states would have no idea how to pick a good Mexican restaurant out of a herd of Mexican restaurants.  So, I’m gonna start this story with some suggestions so you’ll know why we picked this particular one.

1.  There must be neon.  But, not too much neon.  Too much neon means they are catering to the drunk cowboy crowd and drunk cowboys will eat anything.

2.  If the parking lot is not full at 7:00 on a Friday night, drive on.

3.  The building should be painted red and green, the colors of the Mexican flag.  Or purple.  For some reason, purple is always good.

4.  Your wait staff will speak some English.  The cook will not.

5.  The menu should have a least 10 combination platters named after Texas cities, but not Dallas Ft. Worth, or Abilene.  The best one should be named Refugio, just to see if you’re from around here.

6.  If there’s a Mariachi band, go home.  Mariachi music is like polka music – a little bit goes a long way.  By Diez y Siete, I’ve had enough mariachi music to last until next year.  You won’t make it past the nachos without wishing the trumpet player would get the hell out of your ear.

7.  If it’s your first time at the restaurant, order cheese enchiladas.  Nobody can mess up cheese enchiladas.  And if they are special good, everything else will be, too.

So, Bubba and I picked a restaurant named GuadALAjuara.  I have no idea why the middle letters are capitalized and neither did the waiter.  It was green, white, and red, and had a packed parking lot.

When we walked in, I got a little nervous because there appeared to be live music.  Live music is a staple in Texas, much like you have to have animal heads on the wall at a barbecue joint.  It’s the law.  Sometimes this live music works for tips and the only tip they need is to take some music lessons.

I heard the voice of an angel last night.

There was an angel singing in a hole in the wall Mexican restaurant in Angleton, Texas, last night.   She and her husband, both with amazing guitars, sang romantic Latino music.  She sang Solimente Una Vez and Blue Bayou with aching, haunting beauty.  In a hole in the wall Mexican restaurant in Angleton.  I am certain that this woman sleeps on the clouds at night.

At some point while she sang Sabor a Mi, people stopped eating and could not take their eyes off her.  Oscar and Anita ought to be famous.  Oscar’s guitar once belonged to Romeo.  I am certain of it.  They have a style unlike any other I’ve heard.

I bought their CD and an extra one for Hal, who introduced me to Wendy Colonna. It’s a fair trade.  If you get a chance to hear them in person, jump on it.

The cheese enchiladas were okay, I think.  They weren’t the memorable part of the night.

And if any of my friends have any other hints for picking a Mexican restaurant, let’s hear them.

Glenn Beck is moving his cow patty empire to Fort Worth.  And he bought a building big enough to hold an indoor hurricane.

SOUTHLAKE — Television personality and political commentator Glenn Beck plans to move his media production studios into the former Gateway Church building on Southlake Boulevard.

Gateway Church moved out of the 60,774-square-foot building a year ago to a much larger campus on Texas 114. The Southlake Boulevard building includes a 16,873-square-foot auditorium that seats 1,700 people. The zoning proposal indicates that a live audience would be present for some TV tapings.

Just what Fort Worth needs — more manure.

Thanks to Deb for the heads-up.

Do you know the difference between Bill White and a trampoline?  I take off my shoes before I jump on a trampoline.

I make it a rule not to get involved in Houston’s politics.  I was born and raised in Houston but I don’t live there now.  The rest of my family does.  I do not like it when when politicos from Houston come to Fort Bend county and try to use their influence here, so I get some sanctimony points by staying quiet about their races.

I am making my first exception to the rule.  Bill White has earned it. He can kiss my big blue butt.

(Momma, do not read any further than this because because I’m fixing to pitch a 4 bars of soap walleyed snot nosed screamin’ hissy fit.)

I am friends with Houston City Council Member Jolanda Jones.   Jo is former track star, a lawyer, and a bomb thrower.  She leaves a trail of pissed off people where ever she goes, and by gawd, I love her for that.  When Jo gets up in the morning, the devil cringes and says, “Oh crap, she’s up.”  Jo is smart.   Jo is afraid of nobody and no thing.  She meaner than ten acres of snakes and nobody, I mean nobody, represents the needs of her constituents better than Jo does – all while wearing 5 inch heels and the biggest damn earrings on planet earth.  I swear, it takes some serious welding to make her earrings.

Even the conservative Houston Chronicle endorsed her, acknowledging that she gets things done.

You would not want a council filled with Jo Joneses, but if you don’t have at least one, the voices of the lame, the lost, and the last generally don’t get heard.

Jo is an unapologetic Democrat.  She has two opponents:  a conservative African American female and an even more conservative Republican white male.

Enter Bill White.  Bill White is the former chair of the Texas Democratic Party, former mayor of Houston, and most recently the Democratic candidate for Governor of Texas against Rick Perry.

Bill White

I was not thrilled with Bill White as a candidate for Texas Governor because the guy is as boring as school play your kid isn’t in.  I mean, sometimes you have to put your finger under his nose to see if he’s still alive.  But, dammit, I’m a Democrat so I went out and supported him, gave him money, handed out his yardsigns, made phone calls for him, and block walked for him.  I even asked friends from out of state to send him money.

Earlier this week, Bill White publicly endorsed the Republican white male in this race.

And here’s why that has got me so hot that if I didn’t sweat I’d catch on fire.

Any gravitas or weight that a Bill White endorsement gives any candidate comes from the Democratic base who got out and supported Bill White.   We are the ones who give Bill White importance.  He did not do that in a vacuum.  We are the ones who make his endorsement worth anything more than cornflake or jello recipes.

Any power a Bill White endorsement carries came from us, and now I have to say that I’ve seen cottonmouth rattlers more trustworthy than he is.

I was at a very cool female sponsored Democratic event in Houston last night.  I got into a conversation with one of my favorite male elected officials  in Houston.  I asked him what he thought of the Bill White endorsement.  “What a dick,” he replied.

Indeed, what a dick.

Remember how I told you that the Hyatt Hotel stood up to hate and pandering to violent rhetoric?

I lied like a dog.

The Hyatt Hotel apologized to Pamela Geller and the lunatic fringe.

We’ve received several comments about the event that was recently relocated from Hyatt Place Houston/Sugar Land. In a recent phone conversation with the event organizer, we apologized for not working hard enough with the group to address concerns about potential business disruptions the way we should have to find a resolution.

Hyatt respects the diversity of opinions expressed by guests and visitors at our hotels, and we do not make business decisions based on a guest’s or a group’s political or religious views. This group, like all guests or groups, is welcome at Hyatt hotels, and we would work closely with them in an effort to address any concerns that may arise with future events.

As most of you know, I travel a lot.  I just cut my Hyatt Honors card in half and am requesting that the Texas Democratic Party no longer hold SDEC meetings at Hyatt hotels.  And, that they encourage people not to stay at the Hyatt in downtown Houston during the State Democratic Convention next summer.

Anyone who would apologize to extremists filled with lies and hate about diversity in America is no friend of the Democratic Party.