It’s Halloween and the Super DeLux Brand Christians need guidance on this whole witch and warlock thing.  Customer Robert pointed it out to me.

So, when I first read this, I thought it was a joke.  First off, “Probe Ministries” just sounds dirty to me.

Second off, this woman seriously suggests that people hand out “terrific kid-friendly tracts” of an evangelical nature along with your candy.  Cool way to get known as the crazy lady on your block.

And I swear this is serious:

Talk to your kids about “God’s no-no list” in Deuteronomy 18 and have them help you identify those things when they see them advertised or used as decorations. (You might keep a running total of all the witches you’ll see just to quantify this concept.) This is probably the best way to prevent your children from getting desensitized to things of the occult. Help them identify all the Halloween items that strike fear in them, and encourage them to take a stand against their power by saying out loud, “God has not given me a spirit of fear!” Show them this verse in their Bibles (2 Timothy 1:7) so they know they are using the sword of the Spirit against one of the wiles of the enemy.

Goodness sake, why not just have them crawl under their beds and pray all night?

Customer Robert and I also loved this one —

It seems that the costume manufacturers have really cranked up production of all sorts of costumes to a degree we’ve never seen before. Gone are the days of burning a cork to blacken a face, put on some thrift-shop oversized clothes and dressing up as a hobo. (There’s probably some politically-correct term for “hobo” these days anyway. . .)

Yeah, they’re call “the people the Republican Party left behind.”  You know, the 99%.

And we can’t be having no floozy women at Halloween, you know.  She says women should “dress moderately.”  Men, I suspect can run around shooting out street lights wearing nothing but a grin and coon skin hat.

Of course, Probe Ministries is in Texas.  Of damn course.

Be sure to show this to your friends.  They will laugh and understand why we elect Rick Perry.

The Best Little Whore in Texas.

All in all, I thought they were pretty nice to him.

Momma, don’t read this.  It is Rolling Stone.

Seriously, Momma.  Do. Not. I am not explaining to you what some of those words mean.

It’s pretty much understood that before and after Governor Rick Perry appoints you to a commission or something, you have to give him suitcases filled with money.  It’s called Pay to Play.

And it’s even gone to the playground.  Rick Perry now has middle school aged kids giving him money for their daddy.

Humm ... Clean Enough For Rick?

Barry Smitherman has recently been appointed commissioner of the Texas Railroad Commission by Rick Perry.  Before this, he was on the Public Utility Commission, also appointed by Rick Perry.  Barry and his wife and their adult children rained down their legal limit of contributions to Rick Perry’s Presidential campaign.

But, his middle school aged daughter must be very successful in the baby sitting business because she donated $2,500 of her own money to Rick Perry.  And, his son who is a junior in high school, coughed up $1,000, probably earned from his paper route.

Pesky child labors laws – without them other kids could give Rick their money, too.

There is a dude running for United States Senator from Texas named Ted Cruz who is a bit testy about the Council on Foreign Relations.  He was talking to some folks in a debate last week and pronounced —

Cruz called the organization “a pernicious nest of snakes” that is “working to undermine our sovereignty,” according to video provided by someone who opposes his candidacy.

He had also called it “a pit of vipers.”  That’s pretty much the typical Tea Party stance on the issue.

But, and this is a pretty big butt, Cruz’s wife, the lovely Mrs. Heidi Cruz, was an active member of the Council on Foreign Relations until this June.

When questioned about it, Cruz’s spokesman said, “Cruz’s issues with the CFR aren’t important.”

I dunno ’bout you or Cruz but I generally save “a pernicious nest of snakes” for things that are important.  And, I think undermining US sovereignty is right on up there just above “Hey, waiter, my eggs are cold.”

Ted Cruz is one of those shoot from the mouth and apologize to your wife later kinda guys so this race might be fun.

Thanks to Ken for the heads up.

Because I just couldn’t wait.

Rick Perry says he might not debate at any more GOP debates.  Great cover story for when they quit inviting him, don’t you think?

And as Wayne Slater points out, avoiding debates is what got Perry in this mess in the first place — he didn’t know how to debate because he hides from reporters and debates.  So, Rick Perry  thinks he can be the GOP nominee without debating Barack Obama?