Lloyd Criss is a very good person not to mess with.

I love Lloyd Criss, and I would love him even if I wasn’t half scared to death of him.

First off, he’s big enough to fill a huddle all on his own.  Hell, a picture of him weighs 5 pounds.  He’s the only thing in Texas that big without John Deere stamped on it.  He’s double big.

Lloyd Criss

Lloyd has been a member of the State Legislature, a member of the State Democratic Executive Committee, Democratic County Chair in Galveston County since before Elvis died, and won every award you can name, but his proudest boast is that he can whip your butt, both figuratively and literally.

Lloyd came up through union politics, where fistfights are as handy as legislation.  In his autobiography, Lloyd tells about how his friends Butterbean and  Snake got into a fight one night and somehow Lloyd got his teat bit off.  Seriously, Lloyd is a one teat man.  So, the last time Lloyd and I got into a little tussle over a candidate in the primary, I threatened to bite his other teat off.  Thankfully, Lloyd has a sense of humor or I would be the oil spot formerly known as Juanita.

So yesterday Lloyd goes to vote.  Here, in his own words, is what happened.

Today I went to my voting precinct today at City Hall in La Marque to vote on the Constitutional amendments. I produced my voter registration certificate. Every person in the room knew who I am. The people in charge looked on the computer and said I had to produce a driver’s license or a voter ID to be eligible to vote. I was not allowed to vote. What worries me is how many others through the process of this election were denied the RIGHT TO VOTE due to the ignorance or incompetence of those in charge of this election. Someone needs to know about the law and the rights of voters if they are to conduct elections and I am not talking about the innocent voting clerks and judges at the precinct level. They were just following instructions from above. I do not know who exactly is at fault, but I believe they should be held accountable.

Honey, I would rather be held over the open pits of hell by a fraying thread than held accountable by Lloyd Criss.

When you say your prayers tonight, thank God that it wasn’t you who refused to let Lloyd Criss vote.

Did I mention that his daughter is a Galveston County district court judge and that his son is a Golden Gloves champion?  And that more lawyers and longshoremen owe him favors than Georgia has peanuts.

Lloyd may be 70 years old, but he can come at ya so many ways that he doesn’t even have to catch ya.

Locals have been closely watching the election results for a constitutional amendment.  Hey, it’s a small town and we get our non-nakkid entertainment wherever we can.

Brady: Colorful and Sad ... Like a Clown

It dealt with constitutional amendment #10, a piece of housekeeping legislation that is about as boring as scraping dead bugs off flypaper.  It would allow incumbents announce their intention to run for another office without resigning the office they hold.  That’s always been the law in Texas, but they had to move the dates of when they could announce because we moved the elections.

This little piddling proposed amendment, one of 10 being considered,  got hot around here due to another little law that won’t let you put election signs up until 90 days before an election.  The two main Republican candidates got cute with putting up signs asking folks to support or reject amendment #10, mainly as a way to get their names on yardsigns waaaaay before the 90 days before the election.  And the fact that one of them, Troy Nehls, is an incumbent and needs to keep his job as a constable while running for sheriff.

Nehls: Even Had The Wording Right

I gave Nehls the winning edge in the sign competition because he came up with the idea and got his out first.  Plus, his didn’t look like a peacock threw up on them.  Plus, he got the wording right.  Brady, who apparently hasn’t voted much, did not realize that there is not a “No” choice on the ballot – there is only For and Against.

Okay, so as the votes began to roll in last night, it quickly became apparent that Nehls won again.  The proposed amendment #10 won bigger in Fort Bend County than it did in the state as a whole, which was not true of other amendments.  But, that was only by 2 percentage points.  Also, the undervotes (people who skipped voting on that particular amendment) was neither high nor low, but right in the middle.

So, we have learned two things:  (1) Nehls won the amendment war, but (2) neither of them won the who-gives-a-damn-hoot war.

Brady, who has spent almost all of his daddy’s big money putting look-at-me, look-at-me, look-at-me-dear-God-I-need-attention-so-look-at-me billboards all over the county still can’t get people to look at him.   And Nehl’s support is a little better, but still pretty …. I dunno, meh.

The big winner of the night was the local folks in the sign business and political consultants.  They won big.

We just heard from Harvey Kronberg that —-

D.C. PANEL NIXES QUICK APPROVAL OF STATE REQUEST FOR PRE-CLEARANCE ON LEGISLATIVE, CONGRESSIONAL MAPS

In denying summary judgment, Court finds that Texas “used an improper standard or methodology to determine which districts afford minority voters the ability to elect their preferred candidates of choice”

To view the court order, click here.

Some observers point out to us that it is significant that a three-judge panel — two of whom were appointed by President George W. Bush — found that the state applied an improper legal standard on whether the legislative and Congressional maps hindered the right of minorities in Texas to elect a preferred candidate of choice.

Even the Republican judges were shocked at the greed grab in Texas.

More to come.  I’m real busy today.  So much to do, so litt(hang on a sec).

UPDATE:

Texas Democratic Party Chairman, Boyd Richie, issued the following statement:

“Rick Perry’s Republican Party used every dirty trick they could think of to keep voters from deciding elections. After laying-off tens of thousands of teachers, I can understand why Republicans don’t want to face voters. Thankfully the courts are not going to let them disenfranchise millions of Texans with these illegal maps.

Republicans drew blatantly illegal maps then tried to game the system by going through the courts rather than the Department of Justice. Yet even the courts threw their dirty maps out the window. The courts said what we’ve been saying all along. These illegal maps trample on the voting rights of Texans and don’t allow voters to elect their candidates of choice.

The real losers in this process are the voters. Texas voters are seeing Republican discrimination and obstructionism at all levels but don’t know which Republicans they’ll have a chance to vote against this election cycle.

This entire process could have been avoided if Republicans would have drawn maps based on demographics rather than their own shallow political ambitions.”

If the guys in the UFOs want to attack us, this will be when they do it.

If you don’t listen to all night talk radio or have a ham radio, you’re missing out on all the conspiracies.  I can assure you that there will be people wearing tin foil hats tomorrow, convinced that President Barack Obama is personally coming to get them and put them in specially built re-education  bunkers.

Your opponent gets caught trying to be a muppeteer to a job applicant, but you’re the only candidate whose poll numbers fall.

Following last week’s trend, Newt Gingrich takes third place away from Rick Perry, with the former polling at 12 percent support and the latter at 11 percent support. Gingrich gained seven points since the last Gallup poll, taken in early October, but Perry lost four points. He’s the only candidate in the top four candidates who’s lost support since the last poll.

Rick Perry needs a hoochy-koochy scandal in the worst way.

Thelma was bored this morning so she tried her hand at Paintshop.