I’m listening to Mitt Romney’s speech tonight. I think he might need some new D cells batteries for his Etch-a-Sketch. His seem to be running down.

Let’s face It, know you know you’d rather listen to Muzak than a Romney speech.

Republican convention in Tampa?  Wanna protest?  First, you have to go to special protest area where the conventioneers can’t see you.  And —-

During the week of the convention, Tampa also would ban various items, depending on the location in Tampa:

• Citywide, there would be a ban on carrying pieces of wood, hard tubes or anything else that could be used as a club, as well as water guns, super soakers, air guns, paintball guns, explosives, switchblades, hatchets, slingshots, brass knuckles, Mace, chains, crowbars, hammers, shovels, or any container containing urine, fecal matter or other bodily fluid.

• In the Clean Zone, the ban would be expanded to prohibit ropes, straps, tape or string longer than 6 inches, glass containers, ceramic vessels, light bulbs, padlocks and bicycle locks, things that could be used as portable shields and gas masks.

• Inside the protest area, the ban would be expanded still further to prohibit aerosol cans, camping gear, coolers and ice chests, fireworks, lasers, bottles, cans, thermoses, sticks, poles, ladders and umbrellas with metal tips.

But, with a concealed weapons permit, you can bring a gun.  Anywhere.  Except the convention hall itself because the Secret Service insists on that.  But, even in the protest area, you can carry a gun.  I know you all feel safer that someone can’t have a thermos but a .357 is just fine.

Don’t you think it’s a tad weird that nobody in the entire city of Tampa Florida The United States of America,
can carry a piece of wood for a week?  I mean, hell, my purse could do more damage than a 2 by 4.

And super soakers?  What’s with that?  Hammers?  For a whole week nothing gets nailed in Tampa Florida the United Damn States of America?  Would that include Miz Lizzy Frontage, Tampa’s premier pavement princess?

How ’bout spike heels?  How’d you guys miss that?

Thanks to Carl for the heads-up.

Thanks to karolina for the laughs.  (Momma Warning:  there’s a dirty word in it.)  —

Okay, so most of you have heard about Politico’s new book saying that Rick Perry’s use of pain killers during his Presidential run was the cause of his often bizarre and always stupid behavior.

Attempting to prove the axiom “With Friends Like These, Who Needs Enemies?” Ray Sullivan, Perry’s mouthpiece retorted —

The governor has stated that July back surgery prevented his regular exercise routine and Perry officials have also repeatedly and truthfully denied that pain medicine was a factor in the campaign. POLITICO’s claims are false, unsubstantiated and ultimately harmful to the political and electoral process, and the to trust in the media that covers the process.”

Yep, that’s our Rick – always bizarre and dumber than a sack of hammers.  Can’t blame that on drugs.  No, siree.  He was born that way.

The Democrats in Texas wish to thank Ray Sullivan for confirming what we’ve always said:  Rick’s not on drugs, but you need drugs to be on Rick.

As most of you have heard by now, the Texas Democratic Party won the lawsuit against The King Street Patriots and True the Vote.  These rightwing groups tried to claim they were non-profits instead of political action committees.  No kidding.  It was a damn hoot.

Republican lawyers went in the courtroom with a straight face and said, “Yes, we are trying to deny voting right to Hispanics, blacks, old people, and students as a kind of public service.  We don’t even expect to make a profit off voter suppression because that’s just the kind of nice people we are.”

So, now what are the Republicans doing?   Listen up.  Hear that sound of a spoon being banged on a highchair tray?  That’s Republicans in Texas.

The Judge wasn’t fair.  The newspapers aren’t fair.  Travis County is not fair.  My kindergarten teacher wasn’t fair.  The weather is not fair.  The law is not fair.  Waaaaa….

In fact they were so upset that they were stuttering writing.

Check this out from a highly indignant Republican Brandon Darby:

That last sentence is work of art.  Not only does it just kinda end mid thought, the beauty of “The often left leaning Houston Chronicle — considered by many to lean left…” is so fabulous that I may start writing like that myself.

Hey Darby, does the Chronicle lean left?

By the way, Darby is one mood swinging character.  He used to be a lefty, but lost all his writing skills and became a Republicans.  He also blogs over Andrew Breitbart’s website.

And I love the whole rant against the judge because he’s a Democrat.   Cool.  Does that mean we shouldn’t take Obamacare to the Supreme Court because they’re Republicans?  Let’s play fair, Darby.

Thanks to Brian for the heads-up.

Ann Romney ain’t helping.

Ann Romney defended her husband’s sense of humor today during a radio interview, explaining that if people think the candidate seems too stiff at times as the host suggested, she thinks “we better unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out.”

I really, really did not want to know about Romney’s stiff.  I just didn’t.

I just didn’t.

Somebody needs to let her know what those words mean.

Or maybe she already does know …..

Lalalalalalalala, I am not thinking about this.  I am not thinking about this.

NO thanks to Stephen for the heads-up.