Juanita likes to call herself the Texas Chainsaw Manicurist.  And now that name has some real special meaning.

Mitt Romney had a fundraiser at The Hamptons.   Now, I’ve never been to The Hamptons but I hear it’s kinda like Gulfport, Mississippi, for people who aren’t classy enough to own koozies or sequined tube tops.

Well, some enterprising reporter interviewed people lined up to pay major bucks to meet Mitt Romney.  This one was my favorite.

A New York City donor a few cars back, who also would not give her name, said Romney needed to do a better job connecting. “I don’t think the common person is getting it,” she said from the passenger seat of a Range Rover stamped with East Hampton beach permits. “Nobody understands why Obama is hurting them.

“We’ve got the message,” she added. “But my college kid, the baby sitters, the nails ladies — everybody who’s got the right to vote — they don’t understand what’s going on. I just think if you’re lower income — one, you’re not as educated, two, they don’t understand how it works, they don’t understand how the systems work, they don’t understand the impact.”

The common people can vote in America?  How did that happen?  Well, it must be fixed.  Here, let me explain to them how they are supposed to be poor and I am supposed to exploit them.

Yes, the common people don’t understand how the system works.   It’s just unforgivable that we give them the right to vote.

Thanks to Don A for the heads up.

The Texas Democratic Party has a new chairman.  And by new chairman I mean, “Holy crap!”

This guy seriously wants to quit losing and he even has some new ideas we’ve never tried before.

The Texas Democratic Party has a history of throwing somewhere between 6 to 8 million dollars at political consultants who sold the party on the idea that we couldn’t win but we could adopt the Republican platform and accidentally get a county commissioner or sheriff in East Texas elected.

The whole strategy was not to draw attention to ourselves except to apologize for being … well, you know, Democrats.

It got so bad that a Democratic congressional candidate in my neck of the woods whined and stomped his feet that he had a 100% voting record with the Chamber of Commerce and then they endorsed his Republican opponent.  Of course they did.  Good Lord, even those Chamber boys know a cheap whore when they see one.  He laid down with those dogs and when he got up all he had was fleas.  Barack Obama out-performed him in the district because even Democrats wouldn’t vote for him.

Texas Democrats haven’t held statewide office since Elvis died but, bygawd, we liked it that way.

The only bright spot were the lawyers who fought Tom DeLay, redistricting, and now voter ID.  Their work has been stunning in its simplicity and effectiveness.  However, mostly they worked for free because they are true believers.

We need more true believers.

Lookin' for butts to kick

The election of Judge Gilberto Hinojosa as State Chairman means that we quit apologizing for being Democrats.

He’s a doozy.

When he is being interviewed by one of the most conservative Republican newspapers in the state, he doesn’t back down but leads, leads, leads by explaining how Democratic policies are better than Republican policies.  That’s how you know the big buck at the lick – he doesn’t apologize for being big and for being right.

If I was in charge of messaging for the Democratic Party, which I am not and never will be because Judge Hinojosa is smart, my message would be “Damn straight we’re different from those jerks.  Damn straight we are!”

Next week is the first State Democratic Executive Committee meeting since the convention and if a few mouths don’t drop open, I’ll be sorely disappointed.

I need to make one thing very clear.  I am a member of the State Democratic Executive Committee.  I do not speak for the Committee or the Party.  I speak only for myself.  Additionally, I don’t speak for Bubba or even Truman, who is an overly opinionated dog if you ask me.

Okay, it’s Monday and some rumps need rippin’ so I’m back at work.

The State of Texas goes to trial today to try to abolish the Voters Rights Act of 1965.

The Republican Party of Texas doesn’t like it much because it means that people can vote.  They are not big on this whole voting thing.  You know, for you.  And although photo IDs are easily faked – just ask any teenager – and non-citizens can get driver’s licenses and even handgun permits in Texas, the photo ID thing seems kinda silly.  And in the case of older Texans, it means they have to get a certified birth certificate, which costs money, making it a poll tax.

Rumor has it that Aaron Pena is hiding undocumented workers in his pants.

The Republicans got a Hispanic to agree with them.  Turncoated Republican State Rep Aaron Peña, who looks like he ate his brother and half of precinct 23 in Hildalgo county, is going to take the stand to say that old grandmas shouldn’t be voting and student and veteran IDs are worthless.  However, a handgun permits lets you vote twice.

The trial will last a week and smart money will be watching smart guy Michael Li follow the trial.

If Republicans get this photo ID thing approved, everybody in country has to send money to Texas to get every Democrat in Texas a handgun permit.  I’ll explain it all later, but I have a good plan.

Charleston, South Carolina.

The runway melted.  Seriously.

Lat summer, we had a Cadillac bumper melt here in Del Rio, Texas, but, hell, this is Texas and so we were probably lying about it.  It was probably a Ford bumper.

Thanks to Deb T for the heads up.

Y’all I am in Armstrong, Texas, today. You know, where Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face. They have an annual chilifest celebrating that great moment in drunk hunting.

I’m still in the Texas Valley this weekend for vacation and Democratic trouble making. The Texas Democratic Party is sick and tired of being tired and marginalized.

Stand up. Fight back.   Instead of being Republican Lite, I will fight to be “Damn right we’re different from those other guys!”

More to come but if you have ideas on what the Texas Democratic Party should be doing, let’s hear it.

And by the way, do you think the GOP will give President Obama credit for this?