Okay, so Paul Ryan wants to be called Mister tonight during the debate.

What, Prissy Confused Meanie was already taken?

His ego is too big to fit in Congressman?

Okay, so the Godly pro-life Republican asks his pregnant mistress to have an abortion.  So he’s scum.  Slime.  A twit.

That’s one thing.

But, he’s also for sale.

I had lunch over at the Dairy Queen with Alfredo today.  You know what that means:  NUMBERS!

Now hang with me here because after you wade through the numbers, there’s ice cream at the end.

U.S. Representative Scott DesJarlais (TN-04) introduced yesterday H.R. 3848 the “Protecting Foods and Beverages from Government Attack Act of 2012.” This legislation would prohibit the use of federal money for advertising campaigns against any food or beverage deemed safe and lawfully marketed under the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act.

Rep. DesJarlais released the following statement after the introduction of this important and timely legislation:

“Our top priority should be restarting the economy and creating jobs – not funding scare campaigns against perfectly safe and legal products. At a time when our nation faces high unemployment, it makes absolutely no sense that federal and city agencies would aggressively advertise against American products made by American workers.

“As a member of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, one of my chief responsibilities is to track how funds from President Obama’s Stimulus Package were spent. I was alarmed to find that $230 million in grant money was used, in many cases, to run advertisements attacking America’s soft drink companies.

So, DesJarlais, a physician, is totally freaked out that anybody would say that soft drinks aren’t exactly healthy.

You would wonder why a physician would approve of soft drinks, especially for children.

Stop wondering.  Here’s the ice cream —

If you don’t trust my clipping abilities, you can check out the ice cream here, here, and here.

Now we know who is paying for all those abortions.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen where every day is No-Twits-Allowed Day.

See, I told you that watching Republican men with their feet on fire is entertaining.  Bruce Fleming has lawyered-up.

And he also scrubbed this picture from his website:

Gee, I wonder why the one with Rick Miller was taken down but the ones with Pete Olson and Rick Perry were left?

And I wonder if he’s given back the $2,000 the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club gave him?

Hey, don’t be messing with PumpkinChunkin.  PumpkinChunkin is very cool.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

It appears that hanging bites will be the issue in the Florida election this year.

[Susan] Bucher [Palm Beach Supervisor of Elections] said Palm Beach’s optical scan election system had – unbeknownst to anyone-mixed up the race results. As a result, the wrong winners and losers were called.

And Bucher says the very same thing could happen in the presidential election.

“You know the first thing that they tell you is you’re going to scare the voters,” Bucher said. “Well you know what… we’re scared too.”

Me, too.

Thanks to Fenway Fran for the heads up.

After Arkansas State Legislator Jon Hubbard oh so eloquently defended slavery, Benton County Republican Party Chairman Mike Sevak took a very controversial stand.

Sevak said he does not expect the group’s comments to hurt Republican chances in Arkansas this year. He did note his particular dislike of Mauch’s comments regarding Lincoln.

“Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation because he felt all people were created equally,” Sevak said. “I support the Emancipation Proclamation.”

And it took the Arkansas Republican Party only 144 years to support the Emancipation Proclamation.  That, my friends, is progress.

Thanks to Richard for the heads up.