They found Jan Brewer.

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer, who left her state for an undisclosed destination on Dec. 2, is visiting Arizona soldiers in Afghanistan, according to a person familiar with the governor’s schedule.

Oh great, first our soldiers have to dodge bullets, now they have to dodge mean and stoopid.

First I need to tell you where San Angelo, Texas, is.

It’s no where.  You can’t get there from anywhere.  If you’re born there, you have to die there because there’s no “over  yonder” in San Angelo.

But, there’s some real mean Baptists in San Angelo.

In Texas, where it’s legal to carry guns into any church without a specific no-firearms policy, Heights Baptist in remote San Angelo began offering concealed carry classes in June. The class was a response to security concerns among congregants.

“We’re about 150 miles from the border with Mexico and we’re very unsure about our insecure borders — about what’s coming into our cities,” Pastor James Miller told NRA News. “Personally, I feel more secure that should our worship time be interrupted by a life-threatening intrusion, that we would at least stand some kind of a chance in stopping either a mass killing or terrorizing experience.”

First off,  San Angelo is not a city.  It’s a hell hole.  There’s a difference.

And why would some Mexican do a mass killing in the Baptist Church?  It ain’t  like Baptists are the meanest most hateful people on planet …. whoa wait, never mind.  Wrong approach.

Okay, how about this?  Why would you rob a Baptist Church?  Hell, everybody in Texas knows the Baptists don’t have any money.  The Episcopalians have money.

Next month’s big attraction at the Baptist Church will be:  “Cannibalism:  A short lesson in survival.”

Thanks to everybody who gave me the heads up.

It seems that Governor Jan Brewer has disappeared.

I would fear the rapture, but … hey, it’s Jan Brewer.  Slim chance of her going before me.  I’m real proud to say that.

She really hasn’t disappeared, but she has gone missing.

Brewer is out of state for a week on official business, but her staff won’t reveal where, according to The Associated Press. Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett, also a Republican, is the state’s acting governor, and certified election results Monday in Brewer’s place.

Official business?  Planning an invasion of Mexico is official business?

I suggest we put her face on milk cartons, but it’d curdle the milk.  Yeah,  I’m that catty.

Thanks to David for the heads up and warning.

First the Obamas had a War on Christmas and wah, wah, wah, they didn’t love little Baby Jesus.

Now they have too many Christmas decorations.

Seriously.

Amazing how a reelection can reshape an incumbent’s thinking about many things. Now safely ensconced in the White House for 49 more months, the Obamas have decorated the place with 54 Christmas trees this year.

Even allowing for the usual Washington excesses with taxpayer money, that’s a whole grove of Christmas trees.

Holy crap, first he’s not Christian enough and now he’s way too Christian.

As any casual watcher of HGTV will tell you, the Christmas decorations at the White House are donated and they are put up by volunteers.  The ornaments on one tree were completely made by the children of America’s fighting men and women.  Gotta hate that.

Y’all, let me know when you get some more of these emails about the Obama administration banning Christmas trees at the White House.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

Elizabeth Warren – meaner than ten acres of snakes and sweeter than a grandmother’s kiss.

She’s gonna have power.  Real power.

Nearly two years after Wall Street waged a successful campaign to keep consumer advocate Elizabeth Warren from running the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, the incoming senator will be tapped to serve on the Banking Committee, according to four sources familiar with the situation. It’s a victory for progressives who battled to win her a seat on the panel that oversees the implementation of Dodd-Frank and other banking regulations.

Hallelujah and Praise Be!

You know what BITCH stands for, don’t ya?  “Boys, I’m Taking Charge Here.”

‘Sic ‘um, Babe.

Former (thank you, Lord) Texas Republican congresscritter Dick Armey is a big ole hunk of ego walking around on tiny little feet.  Seriously, every time I see him, I snicker.

Dick. Just Dick.

The  former  minority leader and double digit IQ carrier has said some stoopid things in his life.  Remember when he said that cars can commit mass murder?  God forgive me, I cannot chronicle his ignorance – it’s too much work for an old woman.

Well, Dick got to cahooting with the Tea Party and ended up on the payroll of Freedom Works, a group of people who don’t believe in freedom or work.

Well, after the Tea Party got walloped in the last election, there was a splitting of the sheets between Mr. Armey and the Tea Party, who, ironically is generally also known as The Dick Armey.

The jilted lover, the first Dick Armey, wrote a snitty letter to the folks at the Other Dick Armey, where they are trying to Dick it out.

November 30, 2012
To: Matt Kibbe, President, FreedomWorks Inc.
From: Honorable Richard K. Armey
Regarding: Resignation

This is to inform you that as of 5:00 P.M. ET on November 30, 2012 I resign my position of Trustee at FreedomWorks, Inc. and my positions of Chairman of FreedomWorks and FreedomWorks Foundation.

As I resign from all board positions and duties, please see below a list of dispositions on outstanding issues: I expect to be fully compensated through the expiration date (December 31, 2012) of my current consulting contract with FreedomWorks. Henceforth FreedomWorks shall be prohibited from using my name, image, or signature in any way or for any purpose without my written permission or in the event of my death, without my heirs written permission.

Effective immediately I expect that Freedom Works shall remove my name, image, and signature from all its letters, print media, postings, web sites, videos, testimonials, endorsements, fund raising materials, and social media, including but not limited to Facebook and Twitter. I expect to receive via email at [redacted] by the close of business, December 4, 2012, all user names, passwords, security questions, and security answers for all accounts, web sites and social media, including but not limited to Facebook and Twitter, created in my name.

Effective immediately FreedomWorks is prohibited from using my booklet or any updated versions of my booklet “Hitting the Ground Running” without my written permission which I innovated while still in congress and trusted to Max Pappas to update for new member orientation. I request that FreedomWorks deliver the copy of my official congressional portrait to my home in Texas.

Yes, yes, the official congressional portrait.  He only rents that out to the highest bidder.

Okay, admit it, you snickered while reading that letter.  You did.  You are enjoying this melt down of the Tea Party more than is proper. Yeah, me, too.

Added at 5:45 today —

“A confidential contract obtained by The Associated Press shows that Armey agreed in September to resign from his role as chairman of Washington-based FreedomWorks in exchange for $8 million in consulting fees paid in annual $400,000 installments. Dated Sept. 24, the contract specifies that Armey would resign his position at both FreedomWorks and its sister organization, the FreedomWorks Foundation, by the end of November.”

Thanks to Ellen, Carl, and David for the heads up.